I have 50/50 Custody of our two kids

[biggestpoppa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex and I are actively going through a divorce. I effectively stopped a move away early in the case based on the fact that she was moving away to a state where she had no job or family. I agreed to 50/50 custody but I am the sole provider of shoes, clothes and school supplies. I recently found out the co-custodial parent has quit her job and found one in the same field late last year and also has been working a nighttime bartending gig. It makes since now because during her weeks the kids were tardy to school 4 out of the 5 days of school she had them for the entire school year. We exchange Monday to Monday. I am considering petitioning the court to be the school year parent because of this including the fact that when they are late they miss breakfast and some of the instruction in the class and are often hungry during the school day. Also I pay a little over $300 per month in CS based on my previously making $6 more per hour than her. Now that I know she is working a second job I think it is unfair that she is enjoying the extra money based on old information. How can I get evidence of this second job ? I have been reading this site for over a year and I have seen some of you skewer folks that we trying to get out of their responsibilities or assuming kids don't need care from both parents. I am only looking to level the playing field in at least one of these aspects. I'm overpaying and she is too tired to get the kids to school on time.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex and I are actively going through a divorce. I effectively stopped a move away early in the case based on the fact that she was moving away to a state where she had no job or family. I agreed to 50/50 custody but I am the sole provider of shoes, clothes and school supplies. I recently found out the co-custodial parent has quit her job and found one in the same field late last year and also has been working a nighttime bartending gig. It makes since now because during her weeks the kids were tardy to school 4 out of the 5 days of school she had them for the entire school year. We exchange Monday to Monday. I am considering petitioning the court to be the school year parent because of this including the fact that when they are late they miss breakfast and some of the instruction in the class and are often hungry during the school day. Also I pay a little over $300 per month in CS based on my previously making $6 more per hour than her. Now that I know she is working a second job I think it is unfair that she is enjoying the extra money based on old information. How can I get evidence of this second job ? I have been reading this site for over a year and I have seen some of you skewer folks that we trying to get out of their responsibilities or assuming kids don't need care from both parents. I am only looking to level the playing field in at least one of these aspects. I'm overpaying and she is too tired to get the kids to school on time.

If you attempt to modify anything she will just quit the second job. No second job, no extra income. No second job, no children late for school.

 

[stealth2]

If you attempt to modify anything she will just quit the second job. No second job, no extra income. No second job, no children late for school.

And child support goes up. Who likes them apples?

 

[biggestpoppa]

And child support goes up. Who likes them apples?

Child support was based on her only having one job but i do get the fact that she may quit the second job so i will just pursue the lateness angle and file for full custody, worse case scenario i get 50/50.

 

[Silverplum]

Child support was based on her only having one job but i do get the fact that she may quit the second job so i will just pursue the lateness angle and file for full custody, worse case scenario i get 50/50.

Really?

In your first post, you already have 50/50. But she's the CP and you pay support.

Do you really think that you will get "full custody," whatever you think that means, because the children have been late to school a few times?

 

[RRevak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

It makes since now because during her weeks the kids were tardy to school 4 out of the 5 days of school she had them for the entire school year. We exchange Monday to Monday. I am considering petitioning the court to be the school year parent because of this including the fact that when they are late they miss breakfast and some of the instruction in the class and are often hungry during the school day.

Exactly how often were the kids late and just how late were they?

 

[Proserpina]

Child support was based on her only having one job but i do get the fact that she may quit the second job so i will just pursue the lateness angle and file for full custody, worse case scenario i get 50/50.

Actually, the worst case scenario for you would be that Mom is given permission to relocate the children..... which would then actually result in less visitation for you, but paying more child support.

This is not nearly as much of a slamdunk as you seem to think it is.

 

[biggestpoppa]

Actually, the worst case scenario for you would be that Mom is given permission to relocate the children..... which would then actually result in less visitation for you, but paying more child support.

This is not nearly as much of a slamdunk as you seem to think it is.

She tried to relocate them once soon after i filed for divorce and I fought that successfully so yes it was a slam dunk. See I am not the typical father-type that neglects his kids and is content with spending every other weekend with his children he helped create. The children were late 4 out of the 5 days of school she had them over 30 minutes each time, i have had to fight truancy charges twice. Our kids have reduced lunch, we were supposed to pay 50/50 for that but i paid the whole amount all year. She has not provided any clothing for them in the two years we have been going through this divorce. She threatens the children saying she is going to move away after she interrogates them to see if they had a good time during my week. There is a myriad of issues that I have tried to resolve to no avail so as far as being in the nest interest of the children i am pretty sure that i have a good shot to at least be the school year parent. I don't believe there is a CP in my case we are Co-CP's. I pay child support because I earned more than she did at the time of our filing but her second job probably evens that out.

 

[biggestpoppa]

Exactly how often were the kids late and just how late were they?

20 times in two months, over 30 minutes each time. Keep in mind she only has the kids every other week.

 

[biggestpoppa]

Really?

In your first post, you already have 50/50. But she's the CP and you pay support.

Do you really think that you will get "full custody," whatever you think that means, because the children have been late to school a few times?

I actually KNOW what full custody is but I misspoke, my goal is to basically be the school year parent as far as physical custody goes. Late a few times is not a cause for alarm at all. Late 4 out of 5 days a week is a real issue.

 

[Proserpina]

She tried to relocate them once soon after i filed for divorce and I fought that successfully so yes it was a slam dunk. See I am not the typical father-type that neglects his kids and is content with spending every other weekend with his children he helped create. The children were late 4 out of the 5 days of school she had them over 30 minutes each time, i have had to fight truancy charges twice. Our kids have reduced lunch, we were supposed to pay 50/50 for that but i paid the whole amount all year. She has not provided any clothing for them in the two years we have been going through this divorce. She threatens the children saying she is going to move away after she interrogates them to see if they had a good time during my week. There is a myriad of issues that I have tried to resolve to no avail so as far as being in the nest interest of the children i am pretty sure that i have a good shot to at least be the school year parent. I don't believe there is a CP in my case we are Co-CP's. I pay child support because I earned more than she did at the time of our filing but her second job probably evens that out.

Do you understand the concept of "past tense"?

The "Typical father-type that neglects his kids" tripe at least provided enough laughter here to wake the dog.

 

[biggestpoppa]

Do you understand the concept of "past tense"?

The "Typical father-type that neglects his kids" tripe at least provided enough laughter here to wake the dog.

So this is when all else fails concentrate on his typos ? I was speaking in the present tense and if i made a grammatical error then oooh my hold your pearls Grandma there goes the neighborhood. I appreciate the input though.

 

[gam]

Contrary to what you may believe this thread was in fact my first so you may have me mixed up with someone else so your condescending act was misplaced. I have been reading these forums for years but never actually joined or registered so in my first go round posting something i did find your response offputting however i had my feeling taken out at birth so i view it all as banter. Thanks for making me feel welcome just in case i had feelings NOT.

If you have been reading here for years, then you should know it's far better when seeking advice here to ignore things. Coming back with cute little remarks is not taken well and often leaves you not getting answers to your questions. So ignore, even if you get cute little remarks, ignore do not make cute little comebacks. Ignore to when your thread gets taken over by posters silly fighting, don't even stick your nose into that.

So the kids are often late 30 minutes or so, what really have they missed and how much has it affected their schooling? What proof do you have that they miss breakfast? The kids saying they miss breakfast is not enough. You also said they are often hungry during the school day, how do you know that? Then you said your kids get reduced lunches. So how are your children often hungry during the school day, when they get a reduced lunch everyday? The 2 of those statements don't mesh the way you said them. Little things like this can matter very much in court, specially when your actually asking for a change in custody.

You need to read your order, see if it has either of you as custodial or residential in the custody part. Are you really asking to change custody or are you just asking to change the parenting time order? You could file for a mod on parenting time, propose you have children M-F and every other weekend, mom have children 1 or 2 evenings and every other weekend during the school year. For summer you then propose mom have your schedule and you have moms schedule, so your reversing it. That keeps things 50-50, does not require(depending on exactly what your order says on custody)a custody change, just a parenting time modification, solves your concern of the children on moms time during school weeks.

Far easier to get a change in the parenting plan, then the custody plan. I'm not though saying it's a slam dunk that way, rarely a slam dunk in court.

 

[Silverplum]

So this is when all else fails concentrate on his typos ? I was speaking in the present tense and if i made a grammatical error then oooh my hold your pearls Grandma there goes the neighborhood. I appreciate the input though.

*boots disrespectful trick-or-treater off the porch*

 

[Proserpina]

If you have been reading here for years, then you should know it's far better when seeking advice here to ignore things. Coming back with cute little remarks is not taken well and often leaves you not getting answers to your questions. So ignore, even if you get cute little remarks, ignore do not make cute little comebacks. Ignore to when your thread gets taken over by posters silly fighting, don't even stick your nose into that.

Oh see now that is funny. Coming from you.