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I think I am screwed.

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d.marcum

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina/Illinois

Divorced in January of 2012 in South Carolina, the ex took custody of our 18yr old (not yet graduated from High School), our 15yr old and our 8yr old. At this time I was ordered by South Carolina courts to pay $871 in child support for all three children (until the 18th birthday or high school graduation whichever is later) and $800 in alimony each month.

Decree states only this: Child support shall continue for each child until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduate from high school whichever is later. I gives no mention of instruction about how to do this.

In May of that year, our 18yr old graduated from high school. Out of generosity (and her desperate pleas) I continued to pay the full amount. The summer of that year, I was offered a position in northern Indiana. We talked about it, and agreed that all of us moving up north would be beneficial to our family. I took the position and moved first to get established and she and the kids would follow shortly after. Once I had already made the move, she decided that she wouldn't live in the same state as me and chose a close by area in Illinois about two hours away. I helped with the move both in leg work and financially. I found her a home in a good school system and put down the deposit, I help her find a job, and I paid for her move up here.

That Fall, our 18 yr old (not being able to get along with her mother) came to live with me in Indiana. At this time I asked if the support could be lowered by $100.00 per month and via email, she agreed. We did not go to court to make the amendment to the court ruling, but we didn't think we had to if both parties agreed. She was already 18 and out of school!

Fast forward. In May of last year, our second eldest (then 17yrs old), also having a hard time getting along with her mother, came to live with me. This time the Ex asked that I only lower the child support by $71 as she claims she is struggling financially. Though I cannot see it by her excessive and frivolous spending, I agreed. This too was confirmed only by email. I have continued making these $700 payments to her even though our now 18yr old who lives with me, has graduated from high school, and I am supporting through college.

From day one, I have always supported my children, never missed a payment, given her financial help when needed, loans when asked, extra money for needs for the children, paid for every stitch of medical & dental even though the divorce agreement states she pay 40%, bought school clothes and supplies every single year for each of our children, taken them on vacations, never missed a weekend of visitation and things have been peaceful.

I just received notice from an Illinois court that she is suing me for over $6k in delinquent child support from September of 2012 until now.

How screwed am I? And is there anything I can do to fight this?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina/Illinois

Divorced in January of 2012 in South Carolina, the ex took custody of our 18yr old (not yet graduated from High School), our 15yr old and our 8yr old. At this time I was ordered by South Carolina courts to pay $871 in child support for all three children (until the 18th birthday or high school graduation whichever is later) and $800 in alimony each month.

Decree states only this: Child support shall continue for each child until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduate from high school whichever is later. I gives no mention of instruction about how to do this.

In May of that year, our 18yr old graduated from high school. Out of generosity (and her desperate pleas) I continued to pay the full amount. The summer of that year, I was offered a position in northern Indiana. We talked about it, and agreed that all of us moving up north would be beneficial to our family. I took the position and moved first to get established and she and the kids would follow shortly after. Once I had already made the move, she decided that she wouldn't live in the same state as me and chose a close by area in Illinois about two hours away. I helped with the move both in leg work and financially. I found her a home in a good school system and put down the deposit, I help her find a job, and I paid for her move up here.

That Fall, our 18 yr old (not being able to get along with her mother) came to live with me in Indiana. At this time I asked if the support could be lowered by $100.00 per month and via email, she agreed. We did not go to court to make the amendment to the court ruling, but we didn't think we had to if both parties agreed. She was already 18 and out of school!

Fast forward. In May of last year, our second eldest (then 17yrs old), also having a hard time getting along with her mother, came to live with me. This time the Ex asked that I only lower the child support by $71 as she claims she is struggling financially. Though I cannot see it by her excessive and frivolous spending, I agreed. This too was confirmed only by email. I have continued making these $700 payments to her even though our now 18yr old who lives with me, has graduated from high school, and I am supporting through college.

From day one, I have always supported my children, never missed a payment, given her financial help when needed, loans when asked, extra money for needs for the children, paid for every stitch of medical & dental even though the divorce agreement states she pay 40%, bought school clothes and supplies every single year for each of our children, taken them on vacations, never missed a weekend of visitation and things have been peaceful.

I just received notice from an Illinois court that she is suing me for over $6k in delinquent child support from September of 2012 until now.

How screwed am I? And is there anything I can do to fight this?
She's suing you for the difference between the court ordered amount and the amount you were paying? Is that right?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina/Illinois

Divorced in January of 2012 in South Carolina, the ex took custody of our 18yr old (not yet graduated from High School), our 15yr old and our 8yr old. At this time I was ordered by South Carolina courts to pay $871 in child support for all three children (until the 18th birthday or high school graduation whichever is later) and $800 in alimony each month.

Decree states only this: Child support shall continue for each child until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduate from high school whichever is later. I gives no mention of instruction about how to do this.

In May of that year, our 18yr old graduated from high school. Out of generosity (and her desperate pleas) I continued to pay the full amount. The summer of that year, I was offered a position in northern Indiana. We talked about it, and agreed that all of us moving up north would be beneficial to our family. I took the position and moved first to get established and she and the kids would follow shortly after. Once I had already made the move, she decided that she wouldn't live in the same state as me and chose a close by area in Illinois about two hours away. I helped with the move both in leg work and financially. I found her a home in a good school system and put down the deposit, I help her find a job, and I paid for her move up here.

That Fall, our 18 yr old (not being able to get along with her mother) came to live with me in Indiana. At this time I asked if the support could be lowered by $100.00 per month and via email, she agreed. We did not go to court to make the amendment to the court ruling, but we didn't think we had to if both parties agreed. She was already 18 and out of school!

Fast forward. In May of last year, our second eldest (then 17yrs old), also having a hard time getting along with her mother, came to live with me. This time the Ex asked that I only lower the child support by $71 as she claims she is struggling financially. Though I cannot see it by her excessive and frivolous spending, I agreed. This too was confirmed only by email. I have continued making these $700 payments to her even though our now 18yr old who lives with me, has graduated from high school, and I am supporting through college.

From day one, I have always supported my children, never missed a payment, given her financial help when needed, loans when asked, extra money for needs for the children, paid for every stitch of medical & dental even though the divorce agreement states she pay 40%, bought school clothes and supplies every single year for each of our children, taken them on vacations, never missed a weekend of visitation and things have been peaceful.

I just received notice from an Illinois court that she is suing me for over $6k in delinquent child support from September of 2012 until now.

How screwed am I? And is there anything I can do to fight this?
Child support orders are binding. They can only be modified through court. Informal arrangements (even with evidence) cannot hold.

On top of that, child support is recalculated when each child ages out. Therefore sometimes child support does not decrease when a child ages out, when there are other children.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I believe her math is off, but yes
All you can do is present your side of the story and hope for the best.

Without a modification though, it's going to be your word against hers and since you're the obligor the court would usually rule against you.
 

d.marcum

Junior Member
If she was ordered to pay, and didn't, you might be able to get that done yes. But how long ago are we talking (when did the bills become due)? Fairly recently?
We are talking the same time frame as her suit against me. She has not paid a dime in Medical or dental since January of 2012. The decree says that I must carry insurance on all kids and I do, but it says that she must meet a $250 deductible per child, per year and then split remaining patient-due balances with me 60/40. She has paid nothing.
 

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