Informal arrangement now turning nasty.

[Bluto]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Ex-girlfriend and I have a 6 month old daughter. We do not live together and both work full time, and baby resides with mother Monday to Friday, and is in daycare from 6am to 6pm. I then collect baby from daycare 6pm Friday and she stays with me through till Monday morning when I drop her at daycare.

Financially, I have been responsible for 100% of baby's expenses. Essentials such as Formula, diapers, wipes, food, clothing, etc and also furniture/toys (crib, bouncer, swing, bath soap. Baby is on mom's insurance as she has a better plan, but I reimbursed her via check each month. I also pay 100% of daycare costs.

This has all been conducted informally, although I have kept a paper trail through the use of checks, etc. There is also proof in the daycare sign in sign out log that I collect baby each Friday evening and sign her back in Monday morning.

Mom and I have now had a huge falling out and she wants to take me to Attorney General to get her "20%".

I also have sole custody of my two daughters from a previous relationship (both have been claimed as dependents on several years of tax returns).

My question is -- will my ex be able to have 20% of my wages deducted as child support as per Texas law? Does the fact that I have the child 3 days/2 nights per week constitute joint custody? And do my contributions to date (daycare, health insurance, supplies/needs) not show adequate proof that I AM providing for my child?

My worry is that what I'm paying now is doable, but the mandated 20%, together with my other life expenses (rent, car payment, bills) and needs of my other two children, it is going to leave me negative each month and financially in debt.

I was always of the assumption that child support was for deadbeat parents who refuse to pay or evens see their child. As I'm not guilty of either, it seems unfair that my ex has promised to make me an "ATM" out of spite and nothing more.

Any help is gratefully appreciated and accepted.

 

[I'mTheFather]

You will be paying court ordered child support. And you should.

Have you tried the calculator? It may not be as bad as you expect, your other 2 children may abate the amount, and you may not be required to reimburse for the health insurance.

 

[Bluto]

You will be paying court ordered child support. And you should.

Have you tried the calculator? It may not be as bad as you expect, your other 2 children may abate the amount, and you may not be required to reimburse for the health insurance.

I think it will be as bad as I expect. I see that they calculate the CS payment by looking at last year's total income and dividing by 12? My problem is that I had a good year last year. Things changed in my company in December with new leadership and I was forced to take both a paycut, and commission was eliminated. So I'm making about 60-70% of what I made last year. The 20% deduction is going to leave me severely overdrawn each month. W

Seeing as I am responsible for 100% of the baby's expenses right now, I know exactly what they cost. It averages out to about $800 per month ($500 daycare, insurance, and the remainder on supplies). Child support on the calculator comes to $1,300. Which means that extra $600 is going write to my ex-girlfriend's wine/manicure/new shoes fund. I don't see how that is fair or just, especially when I have screenshots and written proof that she's doing this for her "vacation fund" and not to improve the baby's quality of life.

 

[Silverplum]

I think it will be as bad as I expect. I see that they calculate the CS payment by looking at last year's total income and dividing by 12? My problem is that I had a good year last year. Things changed in my company in December with new leadership and I was forced to take both a paycut, and commission was eliminated. So I'm making about 60-70% of what I made last year. The 20% deduction is going to leave me severely overdrawn each month. W

Seeing as I am responsible for 100% of the baby's expenses right now, I know exactly what they cost. It averages out to about $800 per month ($500 daycare, insurance, and the remainder on supplies). Child support on the calculator comes to $1,300. Which means that extra $600 is going write to my ex-girlfriend's wine/manicure/new shoes fund. I don't see how that is fair or just, especially when I have screenshots and written proof that she's doing this for her "vacation fund" and not to improve the baby's quality of life.

Oh, so you know it all, already.

Then I don't have to bother listing the necessities you've overlooked.

 

[Proserpina]

I think it will be as bad as I expect. I see that they calculate the CS payment by looking at last year's total income and dividing by 12? My problem is that I had a good year last year. Things changed in my company in December with new leadership and I was forced to take both a paycut, and commission was eliminated. So I'm making about 60-70% of what I made last year. The 20% deduction is going to leave me severely overdrawn each month. W

Seeing as I am responsible for 100% of the baby's expenses right now, I know exactly what they cost. It averages out to about $800 per month ($500 daycare, insurance, and the remainder on supplies). Child support on the calculator comes to $1,300. Which means that extra $600 is going write to my ex-girlfriend's wine/manicure/new shoes fund. I don't see how that is fair or just, especially when I have screenshots and written proof that she's doing this for her "vacation fund" and not to improve the baby's quality of life.

She's entitled to use the child support on whatever she wishes, provided the child is fed, clothed & housed.

 

[Bluto]

Oh, so you know it all, already.

Then I don't have to bother listing the necessities you've overlooked.

I apologize, I certainly didn't mean to come across as a "know it all". Just desperate and stressed. Any advice is appreciated, particularly around the things I may have "overlooked".

 

[Bluto]

She's entitled to use the child support on whatever she wishes, provided the child is fed, clothed & housed.

Legally entitled, yes I suppose. But ethically, it's wrong. I already see the child 3 days per week (and that is the weekend, when I have my child at LEAST a continue 48hrs from Friday night to Monday morning) and I cover all daycare, health insurance, and essential needs. I don't see why a judge would agree to me being scalped, especially when the mother has admitted that that's exactly why we're going to court in the first place.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Well, then, you probably shouldn't have had another child.

 

[Bluto]

Well, then, you probably shouldn't have had another child.

You're probably right. I'm just not sure why a court or a Judge would agree to an honest man being raked over the coals, even when he can prove that he willingly has an active part in his child's life, sees her almost 50% of the week, and has proof of covering her every single expense.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Dramatic much?

You've already been told that some of the expenses you're now paying will not have to be continued, and that your other children may factor into the amount. But, no, you have to bash the mother while whining about how unfair it is.

Just to be clear, you have no where near 50% time. Why don't you ask for a visitation order too, so you can see your daughter every other weekend, rather than every weekend? If the mother files for that order, she'll probably get it.

 

[Proserpina]

You're probably right. I'm just not sure why a court or a Judge would agree to an honest man being raked over the coals, even when he can prove that he willingly has an active part in his child's life, sees her almost 50% of the week, and has proof of covering her every single expense.

You don't have a 50/50 timeshare. You have two nights - and that's what matters. Not the days, but the nights.

It's not being raked over the coals as much as it is, very simply, how the State calculates the amount of support the child deserves.

 

[Bluto]

Dramatic much?

You've already been told that some of the expenses you're now paying will not have to be continued, and that your other children may factor into the amount. But, no, you have to bash the mother while whining about how unfair it is.

Just to be clear, you have no where near 50% time. Why don't you ask for a visitation order too, so you can see your daughter every other weekend, rather than every weekend? If the mother files for that order, she'll probably get it.

What expenses would not have to be continued? The daycare and/or the insurance? Well of course they wouldn't have to be continued, they'd be swallowed up and covered by the 20%, wouldn't they? Six of one, half a dozen of the other. I'd still be paying.

I'm not sure why I'm getting hostility when I've proven that I cover 100% expenses already and that the court ordered excess is going to non-child items simply out of spite. What person in his right mind wouldn't fight this? I'm not trying to shirk responsibility, become a deadbeat OR reduce payments. I'm simply trying to make sure my support goes directly to my child, which it already does.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Really? You pay for the rent on the house/apartment where the child lives?

 

[I'mTheFather]

Dramatic much?

You've already been told that some of the expenses you're now paying will not have to be continued, and that your other children may factor into the amount. But, no, you have to bash the mother while whining about how unfair it is.

Just to be clear, you have no where near 50% time. Why don't you ask for a visitation order too, so you can see your daughter every other weekend, rather than every weekend? If the mother files for that order, she'll probably get it.

The bolded part is what has my dander up.

 

[I'mTheFather]

You do know that, without a custody/visitation order, any time you spend with your child is a gift from mom, right?


ETA: order of possession, or whatever it's called in Texas