"Joint" decision making

[orioles35]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

As with most parenting plans, we have joint decision making, but in the event we can't agree, my ex has the final say with my only recourse being mediation.

Well, despite that, my ex started our son on allergy shots without discussing treatment with me or involving me in any of the decision making. I would have preferred to use a nasal steroid first, as that works with me, but that's beside the point. She made the decision on her own.

Of course, she now wants me to pay for half of the treatments and yes, this is in our parenting plan about splitting unpaid medical. Since she made this decision by herself, without me, making it NOT a joint decision, am I still obligated to pay half? If I took him to get eyeglasses without talking to her about it first, there's no WAY she'd pay me. Thoughts?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

As with most parenting plans, we have joint decision making, but in the event we can't agree, my ex has the final say with my only recourse being mediation.

Well, despite that, my ex started our son on allergy shots without discussing treatment with me or involving me in any of the decision making. I would have preferred to use a nasal steroid first, as that works with me, but that's beside the point. She made the decision on her own.

Of course, she now wants me to pay for half of the treatments and yes, this is in our parenting plan about splitting unpaid medical. Since she made this decision by herself, without me, making it NOT a joint decision, am I still obligated to pay half? If I took him to get eyeglasses without talking to her about it first, there's no WAY she'd pay me. Thoughts?

Yes, you are still obligated. Your recourse against her would be to file for contempt for her not honoring the parenting plan.

 

[orioles35]

Yes, you are still obligated. Your recourse against her would be to file for contempt for her not honoring the parenting plan.

I figured as much. But this by itself isn't going to amount to much more than just "Don't do that", which was what happened the last time we were in court for her not using his legal name (dropping my last name), occasionally denying me time i'm supposed to have in the parenting plan and claiming he needs a cell phone at 9 years old. Last question: At what point does it make sense to go to court? My experience is that it was a waste of time and especially money, I'm loathe to go through that process again. Thank you!

 

[Zigner]

I figured as much. But this by itself isn't going to amount to much more than just "Don't do that", which was what happened the last time we were in court for her not using his legal name (dropping my last name), occasionally denying me time i'm supposed to have in the parenting plan and claiming he needs a cell phone at 9 years old. Last question: At what point does it make sense to go to court? My experience is that it was a waste of time and especially money, I'm loathe to go through that process again. Thank you!

Were the shots recommended by a doctor? Are the shots effective?

If the answer to both is "yes" then I think this is not so much about your child and more about you feeling disrespected. I feel that you should stop thinking about yourself so much.

 

[LdiJ]

I figured as much. But this by itself isn't going to amount to much more than just "Don't do that", which was what happened the last time we were in court for her not using his legal name (dropping my last name), occasionally denying me time i'm supposed to have in the parenting plan and claiming he needs a cell phone at 9 years old. Last question: At what point does it make sense to go to court? My experience is that it was a waste of time and especially money, I'm loathe to go through that process again. Thank you!

This is a personal opinion only...because that question is really more of a personal than legal question. I would tend to save up documentation of little things like that until something happens that is major enough that I would feel that it HAD to be addressed in court. At that time I would also bring up all of the little things, in the hopes that the judge, viewing the whole thing as a totality, would at least fine the other parent.

 

[orioles35]

Were the shots recommended by a doctor? Are the shots effective?

If the answer to both is "yes" then I think this is not so much about your child and more about you feeling disrespected. I feel that you should stop thinking about yourself so much.

The shots just started about a month ago, so it isn't clear what their affect is yet.

I don't think disrespected is the correct term, it's more uninvolved in his life. She's made it clear she would be thrilled if I would just go away, that's her dream. I'm never made aware of school events, after school events, never given right of first refusal of extra time with him (I get none), I don't get every other "no school" day, even though it's in our agreement, she has him calling me by my first name and has engaged in parental alienation by having a police escort when she picks him up at our house. It's not about that, it's wanting to be involved in his life as much as I can and not being permitted to.

Thank you.

 

[Just Blue]

The shots just started about a month ago, so it isn't clear what their affect is yet.

I don't think disrespected is the correct term, it's more uninvolved in his life. She's made it clear she would be thrilled if I would just go away, that's her dream. I'm never made aware of school events, after school events, never given right of first refusal of extra time with him (I get none), I don't get every other "no school" day, even though it's in our agreement, she has him calling me by my first name and has engaged in parental alienation by having a police escort when she picks him up at our house. It's not about that, it's wanting to be involved in his life as much as I can and not being permitted to.

Thank you.

-Does you Custody Order dictate a ROFR?
-How old is your child?
-Have you contacted the school and given them your e-mail, phone # or address so that you can be informed of school events and after school events?
-If CP is not abiding the Court Order have you file a motion for Contempt?