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Just a few questions

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CJane

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? MO

Ok, my exBF is very willing to pay child support, but we've been letting the state handle the order, etc for a couple of reasons. (Mostly because we're both clients of the same law firm and therefore have been advised by our attornies to let the state handle it rather than retaining other attornies).

It's taking FOREVER to get the order through (duh, I've heard that the states take forever).

SO, I spoke to the exBF today, and he wants to start paying now rather than waiting for the state to decide to issue an order, but neither one of us want him to end up paying twice if the state considers the $ a gift and assesses back support.

I've left a message with the caseworker at DSS, but thought I could get some answers here too.

How can we avoid him getting screwed by the system if he pays without an order in place?
Would my signing an affidavit stating that I consider the $ to be child support enough?
If he's paying more than the state guideline while awaiting an order, is he going to be stuck paying that forever because he's shown that he can, or will the state most likely order whatever the Form 14 says he should pay?
He signed the AOP at the hospital, and there's no question the lil clone is his... but he was advised by 'someone' that the state is going to require a DNA test anyway. Any ideas on the truth of this?
If the state IS going to require a DNA test anyway, can we have that done now (he's willing to pay for it) at a lab and have the results available to the state if/when they request them, or do we risk the state requiring their 'own' DNA test?

I think that's all the questions I have for now.

Essentially, I want to know how he can pay support without getting screwed over completely when the state finally DOES issue orders.
 


BL

Senior Member
CJane said:
What is the name of your state? MO

Ok, my exBF is very willing to pay child support, but we've been letting the state handle the order, etc for a couple of reasons. (Mostly because we're both clients of the same law firm and therefore have been advised by our attornies to let the state handle it rather than retaining other attornies).

It's taking FOREVER to get the order through (duh, I've heard that the states take forever).

SO, I spoke to the exBF today, and he wants to start paying now rather than waiting for the state to decide to issue an order, but neither one of us want him to end up paying twice if the state considers the $ a gift and assesses back support.

I've left a message with the caseworker at DSS, but thought I could get some answers here too.

How can we avoid him getting screwed by the system if he pays without an order in place?
Would my signing an affidavit stating that I consider the $ to be child support enough?
If he's paying more than the state guideline while awaiting an order, is he going to be stuck paying that forever because he's shown that he can, or will the state most likely order whatever the Form 14 says he should pay?
He signed the AOP at the hospital, and there's no question the lil clone is his... but he was advised by 'someone' that the state is going to require a DNA test anyway. Any ideas on the truth of this?
If the state IS going to require a DNA test anyway, can we have that done now (he's willing to pay for it) at a lab and have the results available to the state if/when they request them, or do we risk the state requiring their 'own' DNA test?

I think that's all the questions I have for now.

Essentially, I want to know how he can pay support without getting screwed over completely when the state finally DOES issue orders.

Are you writting a book , or do want someone to hold your hand every step of the way ?

$100.00 an hr . Dear .
 

bononos

Senior Member
CJane said:
What is the name of your state? MO

Ok, my exBF is very willing to pay child support, but we've been letting the state handle the order, etc for a couple of reasons. (Mostly because we're both clients of the same law firm and therefore have been advised by our attornies to let the state handle it rather than retaining other attornies).

It's taking FOREVER to get the order through (duh, I've heard that the states take forever).

SO, I spoke to the exBF today, and he wants to start paying now rather than waiting for the state to decide to issue an order, but neither one of us want him to end up paying twice if the state considers the $ a gift and assesses back support.

I've left a message with the caseworker at DSS, but thought I could get some answers here too.

How can we avoid him getting screwed by the system if he pays without an order in place?
Would my signing an affidavit stating that I consider the $ to be child support enough?
If he's paying more than the state guideline while awaiting an order, is he going to be stuck paying that forever because he's shown that he can, or will the state most likely order whatever the Form 14 says he should pay?
He signed the AOP at the hospital, and there's no question the lil clone is his... but he was advised by 'someone' that the state is going to require a DNA test anyway. Any ideas on the truth of this?
If the state IS going to require a DNA test anyway, can we have that done now (he's willing to pay for it) at a lab and have the results available to the state if/when they request them, or do we risk the state requiring their 'own' DNA test?

I think that's all the questions I have for now.

Essentially, I want to know how he can pay support without getting screwed over completely when the state finally DOES issue orders.

Come on CJane...Duhhhhhh...
Your smarter than that.
He can pay now, then when the order is issued and you start receiving checks, refund the overpayments back to him yourself.
That way the state lists him as paid.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Blonde Lebinese said:
Are you writting a book , or do want someone to hold your hand every step of the way ?

$100.00 an hr . Dear .
$100/hour? I don't really need a low-rent attorney, thanks.

What I need, is my questions answered. If you don't know the answers, feel free to not respond.
 

CJane

Senior Member
bononos said:
Come on CJane...Duhhhhhh...
Your smarter than that.
He can pay now, then when the order is issued and you start receiving checks, refund the overpayments back to him yourself.
That way the state lists him as paid.
That's actually what we'd talked about doing. The biggest concern is that the state will assess the arrears as a lumpsum, which requires payment long before I could 'refund' him the amounts.

I've never had to do the child support thing before, so I don't know how often that happens. DSS said 'It's at our discretion, but if we order a lump sum payment, it will have to be paid in 10 days'. If he's paying me what the state guidelines are ($600/month) and assessed 3+ months in arrears due in a lump sum, there's no way I can 'refund' him that amount, and he's not going to have it just laying around.
 

bononos

Senior Member
CJane said:
$100/hour? I don't really need a low-rent attorney, thanks.

What I need, is my questions answered. If you don't know the answers, feel free to not respond.
I was hoping the $100 was a bargain price for other services.;)
I'm feeling a bit lonely.
Come on over BL!
 
Last edited:

bononos

Senior Member
CJane said:
That's actually what we'd talked about doing. The biggest concern is that the state will assess the arrears as a lumpsum, which requires payment long before I could 'refund' him the amounts.

I've never had to do the child support thing before, so I don't know how often that happens. DSS said 'It's at our discretion, but if we order a lump sum payment, it will have to be paid in 10 days'. If he's paying me what the state guidelines are ($600/month) and assessed 3+ months in arrears due in a lump sum, there's no way I can 'refund' him that amount, and he's not going to have it just laying around.
:confused:

Remember, there are 2 types of arrears.
Retroactive arrears and non-payment arrears.
Since when is there this lump sum thing?
Never heard of it.
Usually the retroactive arrears are placed in the order as an extra monthly amount until it's aid.

If it's at your discretion, then choose it NOT to be a lump sum.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Call Child Support and ask about filing a forgiveness form for any arrears he may have. Child Support will probably dance around and say but you don't legally have to forgive him for the arrearage because anything he paid is a gift, blah blah blah. But IF he wants to pay you directly before it starts and IF you don't want him to show arrears and IF you are going to be upstanding, then you CAN file for forgiveness of his arrears. YOU, as the obligee, are the ONLY ONE who can file for forgiveness. The obligor cannot file to have his arrears forgiven. You must do it freely and there will be a slight charge associated with the court ordering child support to forgive it. (I think my ex paid $20 to have my forgiveness of his arrears forgiven).
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
CJane said:
$100/hour? I don't really need a low-rent attorney, thanks.

What I need, is my questions answered. If you don't know the answers, feel free to not respond.
Hey CJANE I am insulted by this. I am not a low rent attorney and I have been known to charge less than this depending on the case. Thanks a lot. And I even answered your question.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
bononos said:
I was hoping the $100 was a bargain price for other services.;)
I'm feeling a bit lonely.
Come on over BB!
Don't feel bad Bononos. I feel insulted though about $100 being for a low rent attorney. Dang. My clients are very happy when I don't charge $100 an hour. Low rent? Ummm.. no. FRUGAL~!
 

bononos

Senior Member
Ohiogal said:
Call Child Support and ask about filing a forgiveness form for any arrears he may have. Child Support will probably dance around and say but you don't legally have to forgive him for the arrearage because anything he paid is a gift, blah blah blah. But IF he wants to pay you directly before it starts and IF you don't want him to show arrears and IF you are going to be upstanding, then you CAN file for forgiveness of his arrears. YOU, as the obligee, are the ONLY ONE who can file for forgiveness. The obligor cannot file to have his arrears forgiven. You must do it freely and there will be a slight charge associated with the court ordering child support to forgive it. (I think my ex paid $20 to have my forgiveness of his arrears forgiven).
Is there state aid involved at all?
I will assume they won't allow it in that case??????
 

BL

Senior Member
bononos said:
I was hoping the $100 was a bargain price for other services.;)
I'm feeling a bit lonely.
Come on over BB!
Well it seems more than one lady is lonely on here . Maybe I should become a male escort , and listen to all the rants and needs , then write a book a my own . :)
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
JESUS H. CHRIST people...the answer is simple.

CJ, tell the ex to open an escrow account and place in this account the normal (or agreed to) support each month until the order is issued. Then, whether the order is retroactive to the date of filing or another date, the monies will be available and the state will not be able to double-bill him.
 

BL

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
JESUS H. CHRIST people...the answer is simple.

CJ, tell the ex to open an escrow account and place in this account the normal (or agreed to) support each month until the order is issued. Then, whether the order is retroactive to the date of filing or another date, the monies will be available and the state will not be able to double-bill him.
LOl , brilliant ... I watched some of a series , the guy looks up and says come on help me you're a guy . Then a Female looks up and says come on you're a female help me out here . :D
 
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