Last time......

[classic77]

In Nassau County, NY

Here are the documented facts:
The last time I received a child support payment for my son was 05/26/2004. The last time my son recieved a Christmas for his father was 12/25/2001.
The last time my son recieved anything from his father even a card was in the year 2001.
The last date my son had medical coverage through his father was 11/29/2000

Last visitation taken place 7/08/2007



here's the story:
My son is now on the cusp of being a teenage and very angry with his father for most of the reasons above and additional ones that have no place in this thread. In fact he doesnt want to see him.

Every time I track down his father for his back child support he puts good offices to ill use (long story short on that part). in addition he runs to PR or to another state. He told me when he went to these locations he had been working.

Now here's the rub his last and present location is with an ex of his, who is now a paralegal, a religious instructor and has powerful connections in our state due to her family. I'm two months away from losing our family home. Child support enforcement told me they have suspended his license, put liens on his properties and all that jazz. But that hasn't stopped him he is still driving around town saying they only way he is going to pay child support if "I get back with him." Not that it isnt flattering, but not a very good idea for yours truly. Btw all tests were done at my son's birth. So denial is off the table.

Over seven years have past with no payments and I am almost drained. My son is coming of an age where he feels he needs to do something about it, bless his heart. I dont want him growing up bitter and full of hatred, I am doing all I can. With no help or relief in sight, I can definately say the system is broken down and i need of an overhaul. Intentional deadbeat parents need to wear that anklet that other criminals wear and/or be put on the "No-flight list". One of the worst kind of criminals out there since their actions are destroying young lives. They are punishing their own seeds not just the person that the romantic relationship didn't work out with.

In closing is ther anything that I can do with the psychologic the my son has been affected with and make my ex acknowledge that he is the cause? My son is a wonderful person and hard worker. Legally what can I do?

 

[Antigone*]

In Nassau County, NY

Here are the documented facts:
The last time I received a child support payment for my son was 05/26/2004. The last time my son recieved a Christmas for his father was 12/25/2001.
The last time my son recieved anything from his father even a card was in the year 2001.
The last date my son had medical coverage through his father was 11/29/2000

Last visitation taken place 7/08/2007



here's the story:
My son is now on the cusp of being a teenage and very angry with his father for most of the reasons above and additional ones that have no place in this thread. In fact he doesnt want to see him.

Every time I track down his father for his back child support he puts good offices to ill use (long story short on that part). in addition he runs to PR or to another state. He told me when he went to these locations he had been working.

Now here's the rub his last and present location is with an ex of his, who is now a paralegal, a religious instructor and has powerful connections in our state due to her family. I'm two months away from losing our family home. Child support enforcement told me they have suspended his license, put liens on his properties and all that jazz. But that hasn't stopped him he is still driving around town saying they only way he is going to pay child support if "I get back with him." Not that it isnt flattering, but not a very good idea for yours truly. Btw all tests were done at my son's birth. So denial is off the table.

Over seven years have past with no payments and I am almost drained. My son is coming of an age where he feels he needs to do something about it, bless his heart. I dont want him growing up bitter and full of hatred, I am doing all I can. With no help or relief in sight, I can definately say the system is broken down and i need of an overhaul. Intentional deadbeat parents need to wear that anklet that other criminals wear and/or be put on the "No-flight list". One of the worst kind of criminals out there since their actions are destroying young lives. They are punishing their own seeds not just the person that the romantic relationship didn't work out with.

In closing is ther anything that I can do with the psychologic the my son has been affected with and make my ex acknowledge that he is the cause? My son is a wonderful person and hard worker. Legally what can I do?

Your son should never have been made aware that he does not support him. That is clearly your doing. Dad's doing, well all I can say is get your son into therapy.

 

[mistoffolees]

Your son should never have been made aware that he does not support him. That is clearly your doing. Dad's doing, well all I can say is get your son into therapy.

I agree 100%. There's no reason the son should have been told. Not only did you cause your son unnecessary pain, but you set yourself up for a bigger problem. What if Dad requests visitation again? You might be able to get the court to have it phased in, but Dad will eventually get visitation - and you just made it impossible for your son to benefit from time with his father because you created the resentment.

As for Dad, some Dads won't pay no matter how hard you try to collect. If CSE is doing everything that they said, there's probably little else you can do. You could consider contacting an attorney to see if a civil case would make any sense. It may require a PI to track down where his money is coming from, as well.

In the end, though, it is likely that you're going to have to continue to support yourself and your son. It's unfair, but it happens. I would spend some time researching resources that might help. For example, there's a government program that helps homeowners who can't afford to pay their mortgage (I think it's still in effect). Or get whatever other assistance you might need. In the end, though, you had a child by a deadbeat and you may never be able to recover anything.

 

[classic77]

thank you for your quick reply.

no it wasnt me that inform my son of lack of payment please re read my post.

the last time he saw his father was in 2007 and before that 2002.

This a small community people talk and sadly enough sometimes it gets back to the people involved. My son is in therapy as a result of this. Thank you for your concern.

 

[mistoffolees]

no it wasnt me that inform my son of lack of payment please re read my post.

I don't see where you addressed that previously. Why would anyone else be telling the son that Dad wasn't paying? Who else would know besides you, Dad, and CSE?

Dad probably wouldn't say anything - and you say that he hasn't been in contact for years. CSE can't say anything. So tell me where the son is hearing all these horrible things about Dad?

 

[classic77]

ok figured u would get the gist but i'm sorry i can see you clearly didnt. here's the background in this portion
My ex, the present lady, he is living with now is a instructor for Religious Education, a side job if you will. Part of this is inviting the children and their parents in the instructor's home. Somebody who knows all the 'adults' and aware of his suspended license made an inquiry about how he was getting around. My ex pretty much blurted out everything with other parents in the room as well some of the kids. Then the next day or two my son went to school and came home in tears ran to room and after hours of consoling him, he finally told me. This happened last school year.

Sorry if you didnt understand it, as much as he has done he is the father of my only child and even now reluctant to tear him. After all i did pick him

 

[Antigone*]

ok figured u would get the gist but i'm sorry i can see you clearly didnt. here's the background in this portion
My ex, the present lady, he is living with now is a instructor for Religious Education, a side job if you will. Part of this is inviting the children and their parents in the instructor's home. Somebody who knows all the 'adults' and aware of his suspended license made an inquiry about how he was getting around. My ex pretty much blurted out everything with other parents in the room as well some of the kids. Then the next day or two my son went to school and came home in tears ran to room and after hours of consoling him, he finally told me. This happened last school year.

Sorry if you didnt understand it, as much as he has done he is the father of my only child and even now reluctant to tear him. After all i did pick him

Again, get your son into therapy. It appears that all that legally can be done is being done.

 

[classic77]

Thank you and he is.

 

[BL]

In Nassau County, NY

Here are the documented facts:
The last time I received a child support payment for my son was 05/26/2004. The last time my son recieved a Christmas for his father was 12/25/2001.
The last time my son recieved anything from his father even a card was in the year 2001.
The last date my son had medical coverage through his father was 11/29/2000

Last visitation taken place 7/08/2007



here's the story:
My son is now on the cusp of being a teenage and very angry with his father for most of the reasons above and additional ones that have no place in this thread. In fact he doesnt want to see him.

Every time I track down his father for his back child support he puts good offices to ill use (long story short on that part). in addition he runs to PR or to another state. He told me when he went to these locations he had been working.

Now here's the rub his last and present location is with an ex of his, who is now a paralegal, a religious instructor and has powerful connections in our state due to her family. I'm two months away from losing our family home. Child support enforcement told me they have suspended his license, put liens on his properties and all that jazz. But that hasn't stopped him he is still driving around town saying they only way he is going to pay child support if "I get back with him." Not that it isnt flattering, but not a very good idea for yours truly. Btw all tests were done at my son's birth. So denial is off the table.

Over seven years have past with no payments and I am almost drained. My son is coming of an age where he feels he needs to do something about it, bless his heart. I dont want him growing up bitter and full of hatred, I am doing all I can. With no help or relief in sight, I can definately say the system is broken down and i need of an overhaul. Intentional deadbeat parents need to wear that anklet that other criminals wear and/or be put on the "No-flight list". One of the worst kind of criminals out there since their actions are destroying young lives. They are punishing their own seeds not just the person that the romantic relationship didn't work out with.

In closing is ther anything that I can do with the psychologic the my son has been affected with and make my ex acknowledge that he is the cause? My son is a wonderful person and hard worker. Legally what can I do?

1) Your son is in therapy .

2) No.

The therapist can always ask Dad to attend therapy sessions ,if the therapist believe it's a good idea.