Lazy Babymaking Boyfriend

[MissK]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else. we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills. His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check. He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true). so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check. our rent is 1100. we were suppose to pay 550 a piece. well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare. I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job. I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes" Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do? My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true? All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else. we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills. His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check. He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true). so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check. our rent is 1100. we were suppose to pay 550 a piece. well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare. I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job. I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes" Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do? My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true? All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Sorry but other than to tell you that lazy babymaking boyfriend to stop making babies and get his a$$ off the couch there is no advice (legal or otherwise) that is helpful.

[CourtClerk]

That, and don't make babies with someone who already has babies if you aren't prepared to support them 100% by yourself because anything could happen.

In fact, don't make babies with ANYONE unless you are prepared to support them 100% by yourself PERIOD.

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else.

OKay.

we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills.

Says who? is he on the lease, utilities or any other bill?

His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check.

Okay.

He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true).

The word is "arrears". And apparently he couldn't prove that he ever gave his daughter's mother any support.

so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check.

There is a court order for him to pay that amount. The court order would need changed for the state not to expect him to pay that amount.

our rent is 1100.

Well you have expensive rent then. You are living above your means. You can find a house for rent cheaper than $1100 a month.

we were suppose to pay 550 a piece.

Based on what?

well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare.

Okay.If he is not working, why are the children going to daycare? Maybe daddy should watch them. That would save you money right there. At least a hundred or so a week.

I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job.

Then break up with your boyfriend, sue him for support and when the lease is supposed to be renewed MOVE.

I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes"

Time to learn to budget. How old are the children?

Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do?

YOu can get a second job if you want to continue living where you are and continue living above your means alone. Or you can downsize to someplace that is more affordable that YOU YOURSELF can afford.

My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true?

It is possibility.

All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.

It is called being an adult. YOU participated in making the children. You can only control yourself. You can break up with your boyfriend, sue for child support and downsize your budget. Move to a cheaper place. Economize. Buy clothes second hand.

[ErinGoBragh]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else. we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills. His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check. He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true). so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check. our rent is 1100. we were suppose to pay 550 a piece. well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare. I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job. I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes" Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do? My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true? All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Not legal advice, but advice nonetheless (and I apologize if I restate what was previously said by other poster's):

1) Clip coupons. Look online for them, join forums and read blogs about saving money. Clipping coupons take about 30 min- an hour a week and can save hundreds a year.

2) Goodwill is your friend. I'm in my twenties and I work in a professional office with a very strict dress code; however, I still buy ONLY from goodwill because I can find great clothes there and save a ton buying used clothes. I've seen some adorable, like-new kids clothes there; trust me, people can't tell when you've bought used clothes.

3) Depending on the area you live in and if you can rent a smaller place cheaper when your lease is up, do it. Maybe if you rent a 2 BR now, you can rent a smaller place, sleep in the room with the kids, and toss lazy hubby on the couch/floor where he belongs. Even a studio- as long as you guys have a roof over your head, a small apartment can be temporarily tolerated till BF gets off his @$$ or you get rid of him and figure things out on your own.

4) Don't procreate with any more men unless you can support 3 kids instead of two.

5) Cut down on money you spend out. Pretty much everyone has entertainment expenses, so if you go to the movies once a month, join Netflix instead. Go out to eat at places that offer specials, or not at all. Cook at home instead of eating fast food all the time if that's a habit- that saves a fortune! Also, pack a bag lunch instead of eating out.

Do this stuff and you'll make it through the tough times.

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else. we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills. His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check. He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true). so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check. our rent is 1100. we were suppose to pay 550 a piece. well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare. I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job. I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes" Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do? My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true? All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Have you contacted the state CSE agency to get a CS order for your children?
If not, you need to do so ASAP.

As for BF not paying expenses or finding a job, you have one of 2 choices- leave him, or stay with him, no one here or anywhere else can tell you what to do about a lazy BF.

[SgtPink]

I read somewhere that Walmart is hiring!

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
my boyfriend is the father of my two kids and he has a daughter by someone else. we live in the same household. He's suppose to pay half of all bills. His other babymama took him to court for child support and when he was working they were taking 200+ out of each check. He said they were taking "rears" because the mother of the daughter said he has never gave her any money (which is not true). so my boyfriend gets laid off and is collecting unemployment. the state is still taking this 200+ out of each check. our rent is 1100. we were suppose to pay 550 a piece. well he gives me 250 out of one check and 200 out of the next. rent is due in between him getting his check So I have to cover rent, water, gas, daycare for two and their expenses, i.e pampers, food, gas getting them to daycare. I make good money but I am living paycheck to paycheck and my kids are going without and my boyfriend isn't trying to get a job. I tell him the kids need shoes he says "I don't have no new shoes" Meanwhile his other babymother who doesn't take care of the child properly is collecting money each check. I don't think its right that my kids have to go without. Is there anything I could do? My boyfriend said he asked for a reduction and they said he couldn't do that for a year, is that true? All bills and responsibility have fallen on me and I have two kids to provide for, I didn't make them myself.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Lazy, Babymaking men CAN'T make babies without the cooperation of the women they make babies with. No matter HOW lazy he is, he can't make babies by himself.

Was he helpful in paying the bills BEFORE you had baby 1 with him? Did he suddenly and dramatically CHANGE? What about after baby one and before baby two with him?

[mommabearx1]

Not legal advice, but advice nonetheless (and I apologize if I restate what was previously said by other poster's):

1) Clip coupons. Look online for them, join forums and read blogs about saving money. Clipping coupons take about 30 min- an hour a week and can save hundreds a year.

2) Goodwill is your friend. I'm in my twenties and I work in a professional office with a very strict dress code; however, I still buy ONLY from goodwill because I can find great clothes there and save a ton buying used clothes. I've seen some adorable, like-new kids clothes there; trust me, people can't tell when you've bought used clothes.
3) Depending on the area you live in and if you can rent a smaller place cheaper when your lease is up, do it. Maybe if you rent a 2 BR now, you can rent a smaller place, sleep in the room with the kids, and toss lazy hubby on the couch/floor where he belongs. Even a studio- as long as you guys have a roof over your head, a small apartment can be temporarily tolerated till BF gets off his @$$ or you get rid of him and figure things out on your own.

4) Don't procreate with any more men unless you can support 3 kids instead of two.

5) Cut down on money you spend out. Pretty much everyone has entertainment expenses, so if you go to the movies once a month, join Netflix instead. Go out to eat at places that offer specials, or not at all. Cook at home instead of eating fast food all the time if that's a habit- that saves a fortune! Also, pack a bag lunch instead of eating out.

Do this stuff and you'll make it through the tough times.

I buy brand new kids clothes they look as if they were dung from a dumpster once I peel them from my childrens bodies before bath time each night!
Literally I changed my child into her tball pants last night ( in a walmart parking lot) and between the parking lot and the paark 's parking lot, she had chocolate (don't know from where) & grass stains on them when we got there. She hadn't even gotten out of the car, how do you get grass in a booster seat for heavensake!

[ErinGoBragh]

I buy brand new kids clothes they look as if they were dung from a dumpster once I peel them from my childrens bodies before bath time each night!
Literally I changed my child into her tball pants last night ( in a walmart parking lot) and between the parking lot and the paark 's parking lot, she had chocolate (don't know from where) & grass stains on them when we got there. She hadn't even gotten out of the car, how do you get grass in a booster seat for heavensake!

My sister bought my nephew a brand new outfit last week, and I decided to take him out for an ice cream date after daycare- the first day he wore the outfit. I let him finish the ice cream on the car ride home, and by the time I got him home, his face, new shirt, shorts and even hair were COVERED in dried chocolate ice cream! Needless to say I was on bath and laundry duty that night, but it was soo worth the pics I got of him with an ice cream beard and moustache!

[Silverplum]

My sister bought my nephew a brand new outfit last week, and I decided to take him out for an ice cream date after daycare- the first day he wore the outfit. I let him finish the ice cream on the car ride home, and by the time I got him home, his face, new shirt, shorts and even hair were COVERED in dried chocolate ice cream! Needless to say I was on bath and laundry duty that night, but it was soo worth the pics I got of him with an ice cream beard and moustache!

The bolded is all I needed...I could've finished the rest of your post from there!

[ErinGoBragh]

The bolded is all I needed...I could've finished the rest of your post from there!

I'd say it was an error in judgment, but the big "I love you aunt Erin!" I got when we got home just melted me.. I'm a such a softie!

[Silverplum]

I'd say it was an error in judgment, but the big "I love you aunt Erin!" I got when we got home just melted me.. I'm a such a softie!

Of course!


(Please note I never stated that *I* never did such a thing...)

[MissK]

Thank you all for the sound advice. It is just a harsh reality that I will have to face and change for my children's sake. I promise to take heed to all.
Many Thanks Again,

P.S.
to answer your questions
1. yes his name is on the lease
2. children are 2 & 3
3. he'd rather play video games than to watch the children


Single Mother on a Mission!