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Mama of twins here~Upcoming Child Support hearing and I lost my attorney :(

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mAmAnda

Junior Member
North Carolina:

My husband and I are separated after he assaulted me on March 2nd. I have custody of our twin girls - 10 months old. He filed for custody but we had custody mediation that resulted in a parenting agreement signed before a judge. He has supervised visitation for two hours per month.

Child support hearing is on the 26th of this month (as well as the DVPO hearing). He motioned to continue it (again), but I refused. I feel totally unprepared for a child support hearing, however I am close to filing chapter 13 (or maybe 7). Finances are bad, of course.


Husband works about 30 hours per week at $8.25/ hour, and also does construction for a friend at church. He is paid cash for the construction job. According to him, he works every day except Sunday from 8am to 10pm.

Do I need to bring anything to prepare? I had an attorney but I used all the retainer and now owe him $1600, so he has stopped representing me until I can pay him. What can I expect during the hearing and what should I do to prepare? I was going to place the babes in a daycare so I could return to work but it is $1,600 / month for child care... I would not be able to pay it ...
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
North Carolina:

My husband and I are separated after he assaulted me on March 2nd. I have custody of our twin girls - 10 months old. He filed for custody but we had custody mediation that resulted in a parenting agreement signed before a judge. He has supervised visitation for two hours per month.

Child support hearing is on the 26th of this month (as well as the DVPO hearing). He motioned to continue it (again), but I refused. I feel totally unprepared for a child support hearing, however I am close to filing chapter 13 (or maybe 7). Finances are bad, of course.


Husband works about 30 hours per week at $8.25/ hour, and also does construction for a friend at church. He is paid cash for the construction job. According to him, he works every day except Sunday from 8am to 10pm.

Do I need to bring anything to prepare? I had an attorney but I used all the retainer and now owe him $1600, so he has stopped representing me until I can pay him. What can I expect during the hearing and what should I do to prepare? I was going to place the babes in a daycare so I could return to work but it is $1,600 / month for child care... I would not be able to pay it ...
have you applied for assistance for daycare? Title 20 I do believe?
 

mAmAnda

Junior Member
Thank you

Thank you for responding. I have applied through the department of social services. I'm on the waiting list - it is currently about 18 months long ):
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I googled "NC help for single mothers" and got many hits. Here are some resources, and you can surely find more. :)

https://singlemotherguide.com/financial-help-for-single-mothers-in-north-carolina/

http://www.singlemomassistance.org/state/north_carolina
Both you and the OP are right. There are programs out there but all of them have waiting lists.

A single parent can get food stamps, Medicaid and even TANF quite quickly, but daycare and housing assistance, for some reason, generally takes a year or two...and sometimes even longer. I kind of get the housing part of it, because I can understand why the government would not want to provide housing assistance to anyone who could live with family...and the long waiting lists discourages people who have other options...but the daycare assistance issue seems counterintuitive to me.

I can only assume that its cheaper for the government to provide food stamps and TANF than daycare assistance.
 

latigo

Senior Member
North Carolina:

My husband and I are separated after he assaulted me on March 2nd. I have custody of our twin girls - 10 months old. He filed for custody but we had custody mediation that resulted in a parenting agreement signed before a judge. He has supervised visitation for two hours per month.

Child support hearing is on the 26th of this month (as well as the DVPO hearing). He motioned to continue it (again), but I refused. I feel totally unprepared for a child support hearing, however I am close to filing chapter 13 (or maybe 7). Finances are bad, of course.


Husband works about 30 hours per week at $8.25/ hour, and also does construction for a friend at church. He is paid cash for the construction job. According to him, he works every day except Sunday from 8am to 10pm.

Do I need to bring anything to prepare? I had an attorney but I used all the retainer and now owe him $1600, so he has stopped representing me until I can pay him. What can I expect during the hearing and what should I do to prepare? I was going to place the babes in a daycare so I could return to work but it is $1,600 / month for child care... I would not be able to pay it ...
For possible pro bono legal assistance call "Statewide Women's Shelter's" hotline 1-888232- 9124. Also visit their website www.usattorneylegalservices.com/women-shelters-North-Carolina.html

If, the above people can't help, they may be able to direct you to other possible sources.

___________

So your greedy lawyer bailed on you huh? Disgusting! Now you know why 99% percent of them give the remainder a bad name.

Was the shyster by any chance shown as your attorney of record in the domestic court proceedings? That is, on your behalf did he file anything with the clerk or actually appear before the court

If either, then he could not withdraw and leave you hanging without leave of the court, or your written consent. And in any case the court should grant you a reasonable time to either seek pro bona aid or prepare to appear pro se.

But around these parts if an attorney of record fails to show up at a schedule hearing to represent his client for reasons other than illness or other unavoidable exigencies, the judge would get him on the telephone telling him to bet his butt there sui pronto or be held in contempt!

Good luck and please keep us posted. Okay? Promise?
 
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Pinkie39

Member
Both you and the OP are right. There are programs out there but all of them have waiting lists.

A single parent can get food stamps, Medicaid and even TANF quite quickly, but daycare and housing assistance, for some reason, generally takes a year or two...and sometimes even longer. I kind of get the housing part of it, because I can understand why the government would not want to provide housing assistance to anyone who could live with family...and the long waiting lists discourages people who have other options...but the daycare assistance issue seems counterintuitive to me.

I can only assume that its cheaper for the government to provide food stamps and TANF than daycare assistance.
Not always about daycare. In my state it's a county administered program, and a person can apply and get child care assistance funded by the state, within a couple of weeks.

It's as simple as fill out an application with your county job and family services office, submit proof of income and identity, choose a child care provider, and done. No waiting list. No interview. Far easier and less complex than applying for TANF or food stamps.

Parents here used to get paper vouchers they gave to the child care provider. Now they get EBT type cards that they swipe at the child care location.
 
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mAmAnda

Junior Member
Overwhelmed

Okay. I am going to try not to ramble. Just in tears here. This is so hard, you guys.
How did my life take this drastic turn? How could a man become violent with his wife and endanger his children ... he has put a pillow over one of the baby's face to "muffle her crying". He's such a dangerous person.

Here's the dilemma (one of the many!)

He has been accepted into the USAF as an officer. He will not be commissioned with criminal charges pending. He has requested that I call the county clerk and ask for a "voluntary dismissal without prejudice".

What is that? Should I do it?

He has a pending criminal charge of assault on a female, as well as another pending charge because he called 911 and lied. False 911 call and misuse of police officers is the term used I believe. There is also an ex parte currently, pending a DVPO (which is going to be heard on May 26th).

If I drop the DVPO and assault, he has a good chance of getting into military. This means he will:

Be gone. Alot. Which makes me very happy.
Have decent income of which I will be awarded approximately $1,300-$1,900/month.

However, dropping the charges means that I no longer have any definite protection from him. Well, I don't right now (as a protection order is simply a piece of paper)...
But if he is in the USAF, he will be so far away.

Okay, second question. He said if I agree to the "voluntary dismissal without prejudice" that he will file a separation agreement with me. What is the point of this? I can't really hold him to any of the agreements.

My attorney withdrew and sent me a letter "Motion to withdraw"
Now comes Ralph Pennington, ESP. and the Law Firm .... attorneys for the defendant and move the court for an order allowing their withdrawal as counsel of record for the defendant in this action, and that they be relieved ofa ll further duties herein..."

So yeah, I'm completely clueless.


I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER WITH!
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
Okay. I am going to try not to ramble. Just in tears here. This is so hard, you guys.
How did my life take this drastic turn? How could a man become violent with his wife and endanger his children ... he has put a pillow over one of the baby's face to "muffle her crying". He's such a dangerous person.

Here's the dilemma (one of the many!)

He has been accepted into the USAF as an officer. He will not be commissioned with criminal charges pending. He has requested that I call the county clerk and ask for a "voluntary dismissal without prejudice".

What is that? Should I do it?

He has a pending criminal charge of assault on a female, as well as another pending charge because he called 911 and lied. False 911 call and misuse of police officers is the term used I believe. There is also an ex parte currently, pending a DVPO (which is going to be heard on May 26th).

If I drop the DVPO and assault, he has a good chance of getting into military. This means he will:

Be gone. Alot. Which makes me very happy.
Have decent income of which I will be awarded approximately $1,300-$1,900/month.

However, dropping the charges means that I no longer have any definite protection from him. Well, I don't right now (as a protection order is simply a piece of paper)...
But if he is in the USAF, he will be so far away.

Okay, second question. He said if I agree to the "voluntary dismissal without prejudice" that he will file a separation agreement with me. What is the point of this? I can't really hold him to any of the agreements.

My attorney withdrew and sent me a letter "Motion to withdraw"
Now comes Ralph Pennington, ESP. and the Law Firm .... attorneys for the defendant and move the court for an order allowing their withdrawal as counsel of record for the defendant in this action, and that they be relieved ofa ll further duties herein..."

So yeah, I'm completely clueless.


I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER WITH!
You do not have any control of whether or not the charges against him will be dropped...particularly the ones regarding the false 911 call.

The fact that his lawyer is withdrawing is a pretty clear indication that he is not cooperating with his lawyer.

I think he is lying to you about how much child support you will get if he gets in to the military.

Did he go to the Air Force Academy or do ROTC? If not, its doubtful that he is enlisting as an officer.

I can certainly understand why you want it to be over, but I think that he is playing you something fierce, and you are letting him do it.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
You do not have any control of whether or not the charges against him will be dropped...particularly the ones regarding the false 911 call.

The fact that his lawyer is withdrawing is a pretty clear indication that he is not cooperating with his lawyer.

I think he is lying to you about how much child support you will get if he gets in to the military.

Did he go to the Air Force Academy or do ROTC? If not, its doubtful that he is enlisting as an officer.

I can certainly understand why you want it to be over, but I think that he is playing you something fierce, and you are letting him do it.
HER attorney withdrew. NOT HIS.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Okay. I am going to try not to ramble. Just in tears here. This is so hard, you guys.
How did my life take this drastic turn? How could a man become violent with his wife and endanger his children ... he has put a pillow over one of the baby's face to "muffle her crying". He's such a dangerous person.
Counseling. That is what you should be doing right now.

Here's the dilemma (one of the many!)

He has been accepted into the USAF as an officer. He will not be commissioned with criminal charges pending. He has requested that I call the county clerk and ask for a "voluntary dismissal without prejudice".

What is that? Should I do it?
Voluntary dismissal is something you can do for the protection order but not the criminal charges. Without prejudice means it can be filed again.

He has a pending criminal charge of assault on a female, as well as another pending charge because he called 911 and lied. False 911 call and misuse of police officers is the term used I believe. There is also an ex parte currently, pending a DVPO (which is going to be heard on May 26th).

If I drop the DVPO and assault, he has a good chance of getting into military. This means he will:

Be gone. Alot. Which makes me very happy.
Have decent income of which I will be awarded approximately $1,300-$1,900/month.
How do you figure you will be awarded at least $1300 a month in child support if he is newly enlisting? Many service families receive state aid and are NOT earning $4000 a month (about what he would need to earn to pay you what you think you would be awarded.
However, dropping the charges means that I no longer have any definite protection from him. Well, I don't right now (as a protection order is simply a piece of paper)...
But if he is in the USAF, he will be so far away.
And he will also be awarded visitation (long distance) if he asks for it -- which means the children would be with him for longer periods of time. Especially if all the charges are dropped.
Okay, second question. He said if I agree to the "voluntary dismissal without prejudice" that he will file a separation agreement with me. What is the point of this? I can't really hold him to any of the agreements.
You don't need to agree to get a divorce.

My attorney withdrew and sent me a letter "Motion to withdraw"
Now comes Ralph Pennington, ESP. and the Law Firm .... attorneys for the defendant and move the court for an order allowing their withdrawal as counsel of record for the defendant in this action, and that they be relieved ofa ll further duties herein..."
Has the court signed off and allowed your attorneys to withdraw yet?
So yeah, I'm completely clueless.


I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER WITH!
You have children with this guy so it will never be over with completely.
 

torimac

Member
I have a hard time believing that he has been accepted as an officer. Becoming an officer requires a college degree. If he had a degree, the it is unlikely he would be earning $8.25 an hour. Also, such behavior rarely appears from no where. Are you sure he has no previous issues with the law? This would prevent him from becoming an officer. Also, there is a mental evaluation that is part of the health review for officer candidates. See this site for details: http://www.airforce.com/joining-the-air-force/officer-overview/

Regarding pay, it is very easy to determine what he would earn as an entry level officer. The monthly pay would be about $3558. Using one of the many online calculators, it is possible that she would receive that much for child support and day care, plus there would be the tri-care benefits. Here's the details on officers' pay:http://www.airforce.com/benefits/officer-pay/

While it is true that many military people receive benefits, those are usually enlisted families with 2-3 children. If he is joining as an officer, which I highly doubt, then the pay is significantly more. For instance, the base pay of an E1 enlisted person is $17,892 a year versus O1 $42703 a year for an officer. I just can't see him becoming an officer, even if the charges are dropped.
 

mAmAnda

Junior Member
You do not have any control of whether or not the charges against him will be dropped...particularly the ones regarding the false 911 call.

The fact that his lawyer is withdrawing is a pretty clear indication that he is not cooperating with his lawyer.

I think he is lying to you about how much child support you will get if he gets in to the military.

Did he go to the Air Force Academy or do ROTC? If not, its doubtful that he is enlisting as an officer.

I can certainly understand why you want it to be over, but I think that he is playing you something fierce, and you are letting him do it.

Hey there - I had a lengthy reply but received an error message upon submission.

Short version:

Yes, he has been accepted into the USAF as an officer. He spent 4 years as enlisted and has been accepted into OTS, pending a criminal background check. Of course he will be denied once they discover the DVPO, assault on a female and false 911/misuse of police...

I want him to get into the USAF because:
a) He will be gone.
b) He will be making between $6,000-$7,000 per month and will pay decent child support.
c) It is his life dream (Although I am not concerning myself with his happiness any longer, I want him to be happy / content for the sole reason that when he is not happy, he is dangerous.

I have seen what he is capable of when things dont go his way. I'm very much afraid of what he is going to do after next week's hearing.

Sick to my stomach.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Hey there - I had a lengthy reply but received an error message upon submission.

Short version:

Yes, he has been accepted into the USAF as an officer. He spent 4 years as enlisted and has been accepted into OTS, pending a criminal background check. Of course he will be denied once they discover the DVPO, assault on a female and false 911/misuse of police...

I want him to get into the USAF because:
a) He will be gone.
b) He will be making between $6,000-$7,000 per month and will pay decent child support.
c) It is his life dream (Although I am not concerning myself with his happiness any longer, I want him to be happy / content for the sole reason that when he is not happy, he is dangerous.

I have seen what he is capable of when things dont go his way. I'm very much afraid of what he is going to do after next week's hearing.

Sick to my stomach.
You do realize that him trying to get you to drop things is a violation of the DVPO? If you reported him for that he would be in a great deal of trouble.
 

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