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  1. #16
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by schroedingercat View Post
    just saying, youre acting like she is not intelligent because she shacked up with a man as a kid and kept the baby. thats an awful lot of assumptions to make a judgement on.

    and not everyone wants to air all their dirty laundry - being a rape victim wouldnt make a difference as to the facts of this particular legal issue she is asking for advice on, so i dont know why she would advertise it in order to get an answer, ya know?

    it does suck, pretty much every situation on here sucks for the original posters, but the exact amount of suckiness on this here question is not a quantified amount.

    So why you raised the issue at all is beyond me.
  2. #17
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by schroedingercat View Post
    just saying, youre acting like she is not intelligent because she shacked up with a man as a kid and kept the baby. thats an awful lot of assumptions to make a judgement on.
    Legally, the fact that Mom kept her baby means that she has to deal, on occasion, with the father of the child. Especially if/when she takes him to court.

    Quote Originally Posted by schroedingercat
    and not everyone wants to air all their dirty laundry - being a rape victim wouldnt make a difference as to the facts of this particular legal issue she is asking for advice on, so i dont know why she would advertise it in order to get an answer, ya know?
    You're new. You likely don't know how we "read" things.

    Quote Originally Posted by schroedingercat
    it does suck, pretty much every situation on here sucks for the original posters, but the exact amount of suckiness on this here question is not a quantified amount.
    Okey-dokey.
  3. #18
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by schroedingercat View Post
    just saying, youre acting like she is not intelligent because she shacked up with a man as a kid and kept the baby. thats an awful lot of assumptions to make a judgement on.

    and not everyone wants to air all their dirty laundry - being a rape victim wouldnt make a difference as to the facts of this particular legal issue she is asking for advice on, so i dont know why she would advertise it in order to get an answer, ya know?

    it does suck, pretty much every situation on here sucks for the original posters, but the exact amount of suckiness on this here question is not a quantified amount.
  4. #19
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    Be ready to pay 100% of what your child needs. Consider anything you get from this man whether it is court ordered or not a gift. This man does not have to exercise any visitation with the child either, so get that out of your head as well. Do what you can with the resources given to you by the court, but I know far too many custodial parents who have court orders who never ever collect a dime of what is ordered.

    You are not going to get advice that will ever make things fair for you. Fair might have been if you had a child after you got married with a man who is commited to you and to his child ~ that is not what you have in this case so forget about it. When it comes to raising this child, nothing is ever going to be fair unless you give this child up for adoption. Then and only then, will it be fair between you and the man you decided to sleep with.
    So pretty much is ok to lie cheat and steal? Visitation, im glad he dose not see the child but im a good person I gave the option to, some mothers dont let the fathers see their child. It takes 2 to tango. The child support enforcement in Illinois is pretty good, unless he dosent want his drivers license. but unfortunately you would need an order and in my case the order was not what it should have been. Not asking for him to pay all of the debt but at least half.

    If i was as old as the father, witch I am now, yah I would have thought about family morals, but unfortunately i was only 15 at the time and being a kid thinking kid things.
  5. #20
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycakes1223 View Post
    So pretty much is ok to lie cheat and steal? Visitation, im glad he dose not see the child but im a good person I gave the option to, some mothers dont let the fathers see their child. It takes 2 to tango. The child support enforcement in Illinois is pretty good, unless he dosent want his drivers license. but unfortunately you would need an order and in my case the order was not what it should have been. Not asking for him to pay all of the debt but at least half.

    If i was as old as the father, witch I am now, yah I would have thought about family morals, but unfortunately i was only 15 at the time and being a kid thinking kid things.
    I'm not saying it is okay. I'm saying it is a reality.
  6. #21
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    Legally, that would have been an impossibility.

    As a practical matter though, we can pretty much guarantee that if this was actually a forcible rape we would have heard about it before this point.

    Trust me.

    Their was no rape
  7. #22
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycakes1223 View Post
    Their was no rape
    That's better news.

    (Other than the legal end of it, of course.)
  8. #23
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Of course, even if OP "consented", she couldn't LEGALLY consent at the time, and I'm sure she is now aware of what a bad decision she made.

    Why didn't you sign the child up for medicaid as soon as he/she was born? You almost certainly would have qualified as a single teenage mom still in school, ESPECIALLY if the child has special needs.

    There is a limit to the amount of NCP's income that can be designated for child support, so if he is already paying that, it's not that strange that the judge didn't want to tack on too much more. Add to that the fact that these debts pre-date the filing for child support, and orders don't normally grant ANYTHING before the filing date.
  9. #24
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    Even if it wasn't it does not matter. She has a child. She chose to keep this child.
    So if I didnt chose to keep this child, abortion would be the answer?? I do have a heart and I know that there is adoption but your not geting it, I love my child and I will do anything for it, giving it to some stranger is not my cup of tea. To make the father pay what he should so my child can have an even better life would be grate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    I'm not saying it is okay. I'm saying it is a reality.
    I know what the reality could be but im trying my but off for my kid, and im asking for advice for someone to help me not run me down and telling me there is no hope!
  10. #25
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycakes1223 View Post
    So if I didnt chose to keep this child, abortion would be the answer?? I do have a heart and I know that there is adoption but your not geting it, I love my child and I will do anything for it, giving it to some stranger is not my cup of tea. To make the father pay what he should so my child can have an even better life would be grate.



    I know what the reality could be but im trying my but off for my kid, and im asking for advice for someone to help me not run me down and telling me there is no hope!
    I think you got the answer. The judge made a decision. Unless you can point to an error of law (not just that you don't like the decision), you're probably not going to get it overturned. But see a local attorney for their take on the situation.

    You also didn't answer my question. How can a 16 year old be legally obligated to pay a hospital bill? And someone else raised a good question - why didn't you sign up for state services at the time?
  11. #26
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    Of course, even if OP "consented", she couldn't LEGALLY consent at the time, and I'm sure she is now aware of what a bad decision she made.

    Why didn't you sign the child up for medicaid as soon as he/she was born? You almost certainly would have qualified as a single teenage mom still in school, ESPECIALLY if the child has special needs.

    There is a limit to the amount of NCP's income that can be designated for child support, so if he is already paying that, it's not that strange that the judge didn't want to tack on too much more. Add to that the fact that these debts pre-date the filing for child support, and orders don't normally grant ANYTHING before the filing date.
    I didnt sign up for medicaid because i did not know about medicaid,i do now. The child is not realy special needs, just born with a hole in the heart. Geting all the tests done and seeing doctors got expensive

    He is already paying support but from my understanding it was temp because he still has not showed his pay stubs. Court keept geting continued until he was to bring them and I put in my motion and he still has not brought them to court. I know that he gets paid by check by his employer. I dont understand why it was notcontinued again.
  12. #27
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    I think you got the answer. The judge made a decision. Unless you can point to an error of law (not just that you don't like the decision), you're probably not going to get it overturned. But see a local attorney for their take on the situation.

    Im pro-se. Geting an attorney would be grate if i can afford one. And the attorney general dosent do anything about the medical debts. They dont to much about the child support eather. There spose to but they let an estimated $800 fly with someone who works at an airport. Yah i am gratefull that I have something but that is not the way it is spose to be. Im so sick of getting screwed

    You also didn't answer my question. How can a 16 year old be legally obligated to pay a hospital bill? And someone else raised a good question - why didn't you sign up for state services at the time?
    Im not understanding your qustion because i dont know the answer to it. are you trying to be scartiscatic? and I didnt know about that at medicade at the time.
  13. #28
    babycakes1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    I think you got the answer. The judge made a decision. Unless you can point to an error of law (not just that you don't like the decision), you're probably not going to get it overturned. But see a local attorney for their take on the situation.


    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    There is a limit to the amount of NCP's income that can be designated for child support, so if he is already paying that, it's not that strange that the judge didn't want to tack on too much more. Add to that the fact that these debts pre-date the filing for child support, and orders don't normally grant ANYTHING before the filing date.
    Very useful information, Thank you!
  14. #29
    tuffbrk is offline Senior Member
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    Generally, a 16 yr old cannot be held responsible for medical bills. You were a child, under the care of your parents. Thus, any costs that you had incurred would be their responsibility.

    It is a shame that your parents did not direct you to medicaid for the child. That would have started the ball rolling with your state in holding Dad responsible for support and insurance costs.

    Please don't take this the wrong way but it sounds as if your parents did not provide you with the appropriate guidance at the time.

    I think that you are lucky the judge ordered any relief on the aged medical bills. Had your parents taken action when you delivered, Dad may have added the baby to his insurance and the child's medical costs would have been covered.

    Legally - the judge already made his determination and I'm a bit surprised that retroactive expenses would even be considered. I don't believe there is any legal standing at this point based upon the information provided.
  15. #30
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycakes1223 View Post
    Im not understanding your qustion because i dont know the answer to it. are you trying to be scartiscatic? and I didnt know about that at medicade at the time.
    No, I'm not being sarcastic (or scartiscatic, either). (Me? Sarcastic. Never. ) You must be 18 to enter into a legally binding contract. Someone under 18 can sign anything they want and the other party can not enforce it. If you're underage, you could promise to pay me $10,000,000 and get me a date with Sandra Bullock - and I couldn't enforce it.

    Now, it's possible that your parents signed the contract and agreed to pay - in which case you should be reimbursing them as you receive the money from your ex. Or, perhaps, the hospital has agreed to let you pay, but if you stop paying, they may have an agreement requiring your parents to pay at that time. But if the contract with the hospital was in your name, it might not be enforceable. Take it to an attorney for evaluation.

    Quote Originally Posted by babycakes1223 View Post
    I didnt sign up for medicaid because i did not know about medicaid,i do now. The child is not realy special needs, just born with a hole in the heart. Geting all the tests done and seeing doctors got expensive

    He is already paying support but from my understanding it was temp because he still has not showed his pay stubs. Court keept geting continued until he was to bring them and I put in my motion and he still has not brought them to court. I know that he gets paid by check by his employer. I dont understand why it was notcontinued again.
    Then what you can do is subpoena the company's records. Ask the court to order the company to turn over the pay records. Or you can ask the judge to order him to comply at your next hearing. Threats of jail time sometimes accomplish miracles.

    Also, ask that the increase in child support (if any) be made retroactive to the date you filed for child support. So his delays will buy him some time, but he may eventually have to reimburse you for all the time of his delays.

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