JustCurious123
Junior Member
New York is the state where the following occurred:
My parents divorced in the late 1980s after a seven or eight year marriage. My mother got custody and was awarded support payments from our father. Due to various reasons, he had problems making payments early on. We eventually lost touch with him; the story from mom was that he was a deadbeat and that we shouldn't waste our time.
Almost twenty years go by, and I decide to reunite with him. And boy, it's amazing how different the other side of the same story is.
While my mother cried poverty for years, she was actually, all told, getting what amounted to $350,000. There are checks I have seen that prove this. I never considered, being a child, why we had such a nice home or why she had such a nice car, because I was always reminded by her that because of dad, we didn't have a lot of money.
So here was the real kicker for me:
I began my higher education by attending a local community college, because I was told I would have to pay for college myself. It seemed like an easy way to afford the first two years before I would have to consider loans. I was to write checks for the amount directly to my mother, who told me she would complete the other paperwork and deliver everything to the Bursars office.
Imagine my surprise when my dad shows me copies of old checks that paid my tuition in full! He was obligated as part of his support to pay for those two years. So I can only guess where mom took my summer job money--the mall, perhaps? Additionally, dad made a very large final lump sum payment to her about 5 years ago, the same year I graduated from my graduate program. While I was taking out massive loans, she went and bought herself a 5,000 square foot house.
My question, given the above, is two-fold:
1. When a custodial parent is awarded child support, is s/he obligated to spend it in any particular way? Could she argue that house she bought with the support money, although none of us children were living with her, was still in our best interests?
2. Is there a statue of limitations in these scenarios? The bulk of significant payment and other events occurred from 1997-2004.
After hearing my dad's side of the story and seeing the checks myself, I am disgusted that my mother would lie to and steal from her children. I am very curious to know if there is any possible merit to what I have said above, even though I'd imagine there are a lot of technicalities and specifics in a complex scenario such as this. Now that my litter brother has started medical school, I am very motivated to find out if we can take dad's money back from her and use it for something positive in our family. Thank you.
My parents divorced in the late 1980s after a seven or eight year marriage. My mother got custody and was awarded support payments from our father. Due to various reasons, he had problems making payments early on. We eventually lost touch with him; the story from mom was that he was a deadbeat and that we shouldn't waste our time.
Almost twenty years go by, and I decide to reunite with him. And boy, it's amazing how different the other side of the same story is.
While my mother cried poverty for years, she was actually, all told, getting what amounted to $350,000. There are checks I have seen that prove this. I never considered, being a child, why we had such a nice home or why she had such a nice car, because I was always reminded by her that because of dad, we didn't have a lot of money.
So here was the real kicker for me:
I began my higher education by attending a local community college, because I was told I would have to pay for college myself. It seemed like an easy way to afford the first two years before I would have to consider loans. I was to write checks for the amount directly to my mother, who told me she would complete the other paperwork and deliver everything to the Bursars office.
Imagine my surprise when my dad shows me copies of old checks that paid my tuition in full! He was obligated as part of his support to pay for those two years. So I can only guess where mom took my summer job money--the mall, perhaps? Additionally, dad made a very large final lump sum payment to her about 5 years ago, the same year I graduated from my graduate program. While I was taking out massive loans, she went and bought herself a 5,000 square foot house.
My question, given the above, is two-fold:
1. When a custodial parent is awarded child support, is s/he obligated to spend it in any particular way? Could she argue that house she bought with the support money, although none of us children were living with her, was still in our best interests?
2. Is there a statue of limitations in these scenarios? The bulk of significant payment and other events occurred from 1997-2004.
After hearing my dad's side of the story and seeing the checks myself, I am disgusted that my mother would lie to and steal from her children. I am very curious to know if there is any possible merit to what I have said above, even though I'd imagine there are a lot of technicalities and specifics in a complex scenario such as this. Now that my litter brother has started medical school, I am very motivated to find out if we can take dad's money back from her and use it for something positive in our family. Thank you.
