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Missouri - Termination of Parental Rights

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hitomiagain

Junior Member
The father of my 8-year old child is always asking me to stop child support order/claims because he can not keep a job and is hard for him to pay for it. He came up with all of this typed forms and requests for me to sign all the time so the state can give him credit and reduce his back support of close to $7000. Last week when he showed up with a statement wrote by an attorney (with a bunch of lies I must say), I told him I probably can go ahead and close the child support case against him but only if he signs a form to terminate his parental rights. Since our daughter was 2, I support her 100% since, as i said before, he lacks the ability to keep a job. When he moved out of the house he would only live to stalk me and once I remarried a few years later, he will always tried to get us in trouble someway, somehow. I told him he needed help since there were other episodes where he inappropriately acted having my child in his house. He at some point recorded the child answering questions he would ask regarding my personal life with my husband as "is your mommy still sleeping with him". I found those recordings on CD's and kept it with me. If it is true that I want to be free from him, by him voluntarily terminating his parental rights doesn't really mean he wont have any contact with our daughter. I wont do that to her but I want to be able to support and decide what is good for her since her father lacks the capacity to differentiate good from bad. As an example, he steals plastic cutlery from supermarkets ( not 1 but about 20 pieces on every trip to the store ), he steals cleaning supplies from the apartment complex where he lives at, he has breakfast at several hotels in town without being a customer. He just sneaks in every morning and eats, then leaves. And the worst part is that my daughter started to see all of those actions as normal until we had a talk about it. Also, he believes that my daughter SHOULD travel in the front seat of the car because IS TOO MUCH WORK FOR HIM to recline the seat for her to go sit in the back seat and also because THEY LOOK BETTER. He even gets angry when my daughter said is unsafe for her so he DEMANDS her to do as he says since he is her father. He made my daughter felt really bad when he argues with her because she follows my rules and not his since she knows better. I can say now that she is definitely more mature than her father and in someway, is affecting her emotionally. For that and other reasons, I want to go ahead and have this process started. He is willing to do that if I close the child support order permanently and to be honest, we are not in a great financial situation but my daughter never lacked of anything. I have a job and I prefer not to have that extra money if both, my daughter and I will have a peaceful life.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Why do you think that a TPR would solve any of the problems you are having?
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
The father of my 8-year old child is always asking me to stop child support order/claims because he can not keep a job and is hard for him to pay for it. He came up with all of this typed forms and requests for me to sign all the time so the state can give him credit and reduce his back support of close to $7000. Last week when he showed up with a statement wrote by an attorney (with a bunch of lies I must say), I told him I probably can go ahead and close the child support case against him but only if he signs a form to terminate his parental rights. Since our daughter was 2, I support her 100% since, as i said before, he lacks the ability to keep a job. When he moved out of the house he would only live to stalk me and once I remarried a few years later, he will always tried to get us in trouble someway, somehow. I told him he needed help since there were other episodes where he inappropriately acted having my child in his house. He at some point recorded the child answering questions he would ask regarding my personal life with my husband as "is your mommy still sleeping with him". I found those recordings on CD's and kept it with me. If it is true that I want to be free from him, by him voluntarily terminating his parental rights doesn't really mean he wont have any contact with our daughter. I wont do that to her but I want to be able to support and decide what is good for her since her father lacks the capacity to differentiate good from bad. As an example, he steals plastic cutlery from supermarkets ( not 1 but about 20 pieces on every trip to the store ), he steals cleaning supplies from the apartment complex where he lives at, he has breakfast at several hotels in town without being a customer. He just sneaks in every morning and eats, then leaves. And the worst part is that my daughter started to see all of those actions as normal until we had a talk about it. Also, he believes that my daughter SHOULD travel in the front seat of the car because IS TOO MUCH WORK FOR HIM to recline the seat for her to go sit in the back seat and also because THEY LOOK BETTER. He even gets angry when my daughter said is unsafe for her so he DEMANDS her to do as he says since he is her father. He made my daughter felt really bad when he argues with her because she follows my rules and not his since she knows better. I can say now that she is definitely more mature than her father and in someway, is affecting her emotionally. For that and other reasons, I want to go ahead and have this process started. He is willing to do that if I close the child support order permanently and to be honest, we are not in a great financial situation but my daughter never lacked of anything. I have a job and I prefer not to have that extra money if both, my daughter and I will have a peaceful life.
The state will not allow a voluntary termination of parental rights without a step-parent adoption in the works. :cool:
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The father of my 8-year old child is always asking me to stop child support order/claims because he can not keep a job and is hard for him to pay for it. He came up with all of this typed forms and requests for me to sign all the time so the state can give him credit and reduce his back support of close to $7000. Last week when he showed up with a statement wrote by an attorney (with a bunch of lies I must say), I told him I probably can go ahead and close the child support case against him but only if he signs a form to terminate his parental rights. Since our daughter was 2, I support her 100% since, as i said before, he lacks the ability to keep a job. When he moved out of the house he would only live to stalk me and once I remarried a few years later, he will always tried to get us in trouble someway, somehow. I told him he needed help since there were other episodes where he inappropriately acted having my child in his house. He at some point recorded the child answering questions he would ask regarding my personal life with my husband as "is your mommy still sleeping with him". I found those recordings on CD's and kept it with me. If it is true that I want to be free from him, by him voluntarily terminating his parental rights doesn't really mean he wont have any contact with our daughter. I wont do that to her but I want to be able to support and decide what is good for her since her father lacks the capacity to differentiate good from bad. As an example, he steals plastic cutlery from supermarkets ( not 1 but about 20 pieces on every trip to the store ), he steals cleaning supplies from the apartment complex where he lives at, he has breakfast at several hotels in town without being a customer. He just sneaks in every morning and eats, then leaves. And the worst part is that my daughter started to see all of those actions as normal until we had a talk about it. Also, he believes that my daughter SHOULD travel in the front seat of the car because IS TOO MUCH WORK FOR HIM to recline the seat for her to go sit in the back seat and also because THEY LOOK BETTER. He even gets angry when my daughter said is unsafe for her so he DEMANDS her to do as he says since he is her father. He made my daughter felt really bad when he argues with her because she follows my rules and not his since she knows better. I can say now that she is definitely more mature than her father and in someway, is affecting her emotionally. For that and other reasons, I want to go ahead and have this process started. He is willing to do that if I close the child support order permanently and to be honest, we are not in a great financial situation but my daughter never lacked of anything. I have a job and I prefer not to have that extra money if both, my daughter and I will have a peaceful life.
The courts may not allow you to do that unless your husband is willing to adopt the child, and that definitely would require you to get an adoption attorney. If dad (or the rest of his family) end up realizing what that would mean, he might refuse to cooperate.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
The father of my 8-year old child is always asking me to stop child support order/claims because he can not keep a job and is hard for him to pay for it. He came up with all of this typed forms and requests for me to sign all the time so the state can give him credit and reduce his back support of close to $7000. Last week when he showed up with a statement wrote by an attorney (with a bunch of lies I must say), I told him I probably can go ahead and close the child support case against him but only if he signs a form to terminate his parental rights. Since our daughter was 2, I support her 100% since, as i said before, he lacks the ability to keep a job. When he moved out of the house he would only live to stalk me and once I remarried a few years later, he will always tried to get us in trouble someway, somehow. I told him he needed help since there were other episodes where he inappropriately acted having my child in his house. He at some point recorded the child answering questions he would ask regarding my personal life with my husband as "is your mommy still sleeping with him". I found those recordings on CD's and kept it with me. If it is true that I want to be free from him, by him voluntarily terminating his parental rights doesn't really mean he wont have any contact with our daughter. I wont do that to her but I want to be able to support and decide what is good for her since her father lacks the capacity to differentiate good from bad. As an example, he steals plastic cutlery from supermarkets ( not 1 but about 20 pieces on every trip to the store ), he steals cleaning supplies from the apartment complex where he lives at, he has breakfast at several hotels in town without being a customer. He just sneaks in every morning and eats, then leaves. And the worst part is that my daughter started to see all of those actions as normal until we had a talk about it. Also, he believes that my daughter SHOULD travel in the front seat of the car because IS TOO MUCH WORK FOR HIM to recline the seat for her to go sit in the back seat and also because THEY LOOK BETTER. He even gets angry when my daughter said is unsafe for her so he DEMANDS her to do as he says since he is her father. He made my daughter felt really bad when he argues with her because she follows my rules and not his since she knows better. I can say now that she is definitely more mature than her father and in someway, is affecting her emotionally. For that and other reasons, I want to go ahead and have this process started. He is willing to do that if I close the child support order permanently and to be honest, we are not in a great financial situation but my daughter never lacked of anything. I have a job and I prefer not to have that extra money if both, my daughter and I will have a peaceful life.
Is your husband will to adopt the child? Do your child and her stepfather having a loving relationship? Have you sought councling regarding this matter for your child? Does your husband know that if there is an adoption and the two of you divorce then he MAY have to pay child support to you..do you understand he may end up with PC and you will have to pay support to HIM?
 
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hitomiagain

Junior Member
Is your husband will to adopt the child? Do your child and her stepfather having a loving relationship? Have you sought councling regarding this matter for your child? Does your husband know that if there is an adoption and the two of you divorce then he MAY have to pay child support to you..do you understand he may end up with PC and you will have to pay support to HIM?
Thank you for your input! He does have great relationship with my daughter and will have no problem adopting her. The issue is that he isnt in the country at the moment. He wont be with us until January 2015. And I'm not sure what "PC" means and why would I pay support to who? Sorry, not really aware of all of this.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Thank you for your input! He does have great relationship with my daughter and will have no problem adopting her. The issue is that he isnt in the country at the moment. He wont be with us until January 2015. And I'm not sure what "PC" means and why would I pay support to who? Sorry, not really aware of all of this.
Primary Custodian.

If your H adopts and later you divorce, you may not be PC, and thus would have to pay support. It's a standard warning many posters give.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
His happiness may not be my problem but the problem is that if he's not "happy" then he will make sure Im miserable as well.
That's really on you. Many of us here have less than wonderful ex's. We don't allow them to define our happiness/miserability (is that even a word?)
 

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