MN Child Support Arrears Help

[SinglePopMN]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? : Minnesota

I filed the Motion to Modify Child Support in November and have a court date coming up in January. I initially filed because I was working full-time when the current order was established, and I am now working part-time to attend college. But now my son is living with me full-time and has been for the past few months. I am thinking about asking them to allow my arrear forgiveness letter from the mother. I have been paying her biweekly child support in cash (like an idiot!) for the past few years, and when they started our support case again in September, I was charged for support that I "missed." The amount that I owe specifically to her and not the state (as she was and is on assistance), is about $1200. I have been paying her far more than that for the last couple of years, and am wondering if I have a valid case here? I was told by my CSO that in order to get it forgiven, I would have to ask her to sign an arrears forgiveness document. She has said that she is willing to sign it, I just need to draft it up. She may not be so willing after she finds out that I am filing a petition to establish custody and parenting time (we have no order currently set--so I have NO real rights according to the state of MN). Any advice? Recommendations for inclusions in the Arrears Forgiveness document? Is she allowed to go "back" on her forgiveness if she gets mad about the Custody stuff? She's not a very nice or forgiving person, and I think I have an overwhelming case in my favor for Sole Physical Custody according to the 13 Best Interest Factors. Just a little worried there will be negative repercussions coming soon and hoping to get my ducks in line before the storm.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? : Minnesota

I filed the Motion to Modify Child Support in November and have a court date coming up in January. I initially filed because I was working full-time when the current order was established, and I am now working part-time to attend college.

That would not normally allow you to modify child support because that is a voluntary reduction in pay.

But now my son is living with me full-time and has been for the past few months.

That could stop in a huge way if you file to modify custody. Unless mom is stupid she can and would immediately take the child back from you, and then you would no longer have status quo....and the child hasn't even been with you long enough to establish status quo.

I am thinking about asking them to allow my arrear forgiveness letter from the mother. I have been paying her biweekly child support in cash (like an idiot!) for the past few years, and when they started our support case again in September, I was charged for support that I "missed." The amount that I owe specifically to her and not the state (as she was and is on assistance), is about $1200. I have been paying her far more than that for the last couple of years, and am wondering if I have a valid case here?

If mom has been on state assistance she cannot forgive the amounts due to the state. You do understand that if she has been on state assistance the majority of the child support does not go to her? It goes to the state to reimburse the state for the assistance.

I was told by my CSO that in order to get it forgiven, I would have to ask her to sign an arrears forgiveness document. She has said that she is willing to sign it, I just need to draft it up. She may not be so willing after she finds out that I am filing a petition to establish custody and parenting time (we have no order currently set--so I have NO real rights according to the state of MN). Any advice?

Dangerous way to go about things. It is far wiser to deal with custody/parenting time first, child support after or at the same time.

Recommendations for inclusions in the Arrears Forgiveness document? Is she allowed to go "back" on her forgiveness if she gets mad about the Custody stuff? She's not a very nice or forgiving person, and I think I have an overwhelming case in my favor for Sole Physical Custody according to the 13 Best Interest Factors. Just a little worried there will be negative repercussions coming soon and hoping to get my ducks in line before the storm.

Dad, get yourself a consult with a local family law attorney...I really do think that you are going about things in a way that could hurt you.

 

[SinglePopMN]

That would not normally allow you to modify child support because that is a voluntary reduction in pay.



That could stop in a huge way if you file to modify custody.



If mom has been on state assistance she cannot forgive the amounts due to the state.



Dangerous way to go about things.



Dad, get yourself a consult with a local family law attorney...I really do think that you are going about things in a way that could hurt you.

Could you elaborate a little bit? What am I doing that could be detrimental to me or my case?

I understand that I may have absolutely nothing positive happen for me on my court date for this, just like I understand that she cannot forgive state-owed arrears. But I am not asking her to forgive those, I am asking her to forgive the arrears owed specifically to her. The arrears forgiveness is really just a bonus in my eyes, not a must-have. I am still currently paying for them regardless, so if she is willing to make them go away, then I might as well try, right?
And I am just looking for them to lower, if not suspend my child support payments. I don't feel like I should be paying her when he is living with me, and I think the court agrees with me. Previously we went to court for this exact same thing, and they suspended the child support altogether.

I see this as a lone, golden opportunity for me. I want sole physical custody of my son with parenting time (same as we currently have - every other weekend and some holidays). There are a fair amount of choices that she is making that are unhealthy and not in my son's best interests: he has had 4 schools in the past 2 years (he is 9), equally as many homes in that same time frame, she jumps from job to job, brings our son to her bf house for sleepovers (she is married), mentally and psychologically manipulates him, her brothers are parolees and known gang members, amongst many other things. In the state of MN for unmarried parents, the mother is automatically granted legal and physical custody of the children. I know that she has the legal right to take him back at any moment, and I am trying to protect my son and myself against that. The arrears forgiveness is just an attempt to keep everything honest. I already paid her, and she knows that, which is why she is willing to sign.

I have been talking to Free Lawyers and plan on attending more legal clinics, but I also want to get this ball rolling before its too late. I dont want her to come get him and disrupt the consistency I have been providing in his life since he came to live with me.

Sorry if I turned this into a Child Custody thread, I didn't intend for that. I just thought I should provide a little more background info

 

[Silverplum]

Could you elaborate a little bit? What am I doing that could be detrimental to me or my case?

I understand that I may have absolutely nothing positive happen for me on my court date for this, just like I understand that she cannot forgive state-owed arrears. But I am not asking her to forgive those, I am asking her to forgive the arrears owed specifically to her. The arrears forgiveness is really just a bonus in my eyes, not a must-have. I am still currently paying for them regardless, so if she is willing to make them go away, then I might as well try, right?
And I am just looking for them to lower, if not suspend my child support payments. I don't feel like I should be paying her when he is living with me, and I think the court agrees with me. Previously we went to court for this exact same thing, and they suspended the child support altogether.

I see this as a lone, golden opportunity for me. I want sole physical custody of my son with parenting time (same as we currently have - every other weekend and some holidays). There are a fair amount of choices that she is making that are unhealthy and not in my son's best interests: he has had 4 schools in the past 2 years (he is 9), equally as many homes in that same time frame, she jumps from job to job, brings our son to her bf house for sleepovers (she is married), mentally and psychologically manipulates him, her brothers are parolees and known gang members, amongst many other things. In the state of MN for unmarried parents, the mother is automatically granted legal and physical custody of the children. I know that she has the legal right to take him back at any moment, and I am trying to protect my son and myself against that. The arrears forgiveness is just an attempt to keep everything honest. I already paid her, and she knows that, which is why she is willing to sign.

I have been talking to Free Lawyers and plan on attending more legal clinics, but I also want to get this ball rolling before its too late. I dont want her to come get him and disrupt the consistency I have been providing in his life since he came to live with me.

Sorry if I turned this into a Child Custody thread, I didn't intend for that. I just thought I should provide a little more background info

The legal concept of "status quo" is what you are endangering. You are losing your case for yourself if you go forward as you plan.

(Look up "status quo." I'm not able to research/link at the moment.)

 

[SinglePopMN]

That would not normally allow you to modify child support because that is a voluntary reduction in pay.



That could stop in a huge way if you file to modify custody. Unless mom is stupid she can and would immediately take the child back from you, and then you would no longer have status quo....and the child hasn't even been with you long enough to establish status quo.



If mom has been on state assistance she cannot forgive the amounts due to the state. You do understand that if she has been on state assistance the majority of the child support does not go to her? It goes to the state to reimburse the state for the assistance.



Dangerous way to go about things. It is far wiser to deal with custody/parenting time first, child support after or at the same time.



Dad, get yourself a consult with a local family law attorney...I really do think that you are going about things in a way that could hurt you.

Ahh, I see. For some reason the full comments you made did not appear when I made my first reply. So, I believe that I'm on the right track for status quo, but it hasn't been the 6 months to a year that would typically establish said "status quo." Yeah, I'm in a bit of a predicament here because she has been telling me that she is going to take him back "as soon as she gets her own place." And I don't doubt that she would or will. He moved in with me in the first place because she was getting kicked out of her friend's house and working at SA. Since then she has a better-paying, more consistent job and a new friend to live with. I was only trying to rush things because I was afraid she legitimately would take him sooner rather than later, and legally have every right to.

I do understand that most of the child support does not go to her. When I talked to my CSO, they told me I owed $2K and $1200 was specifically to her, $800 to the state.

I guess I will just have to wait it out and try again towards the end of the school year. But when I do finally file, it's likely she would take him back and disrupt the current status quo established with me. Is there anything I can do to prevent that? I don't believe his situation would qualify for "emergency custody"

 

[Astrolink]

"But now my son is living with me full-time and has been for the past few months." and "The amount that I owe specifically to her and not the state (as she was and is on assistance)"

Just to note, from those 2 statements, she may be fraudulent in receiving assistance the last few months if the child has been living with you.

 

[SinglePopMN]

"But now my son is living with me full-time and has been for the past few months." and "The amount that I owe specifically to her and not the state (as she was and is on assistance)"

Just to note, from those 2 statements, she may be fraudulent in receiving assistance the last few months if the child has been living with you.

Yeah, she is. She's still collecting food stamps, and health insurance for him.

 

[LdiJ]

Yeah, she is. She's still collecting food stamps, and health insurance for him.

Are you providing health insurance for him? If not, you will need to do so.

 

[SinglePopMN]

Are you providing health insurance for him? If not, you will need to do so.

No, I'm not currently providing health insurance and according to the Child Support Office, I do not have physical custody of my son if I am not providing health insurance for him. Which does and does not make sense to me. I understand that it is an essential part of providing care, but I also don't believe that means I don't have physical custody of him. It is what it is I guess. I do have a pending health insurance application in the works right now. I hope I can get everything processed by January 10th, my child support court date.

 

[Silverplum]

It doesn't help you to delete your threads. Perhaps you aren't ready for primary custody: it takes more patience than you're showing.

We were trying to help you.

 

[stealth2]

Note, fellow posters... Per a recently deleted thread, said child no longer lives with OP due to a verbal altercation between child's Mom and Op's g/f. There is no custody/visitation agreement, so child's Mom was apparently within her rights to not return child.

OP does not appreciate any negative commentary.

 

[Just Blue]

Note, fellow posters... Per a recently deleted thread, said child no longer lives with OP due to a verbal altercation between child's Mom and Op's g/f. There is no custody/visitation agreement, so child's Mom was apparently within her rights to not return child.

OP does not appreciate any negative commentary.

Thank You Stealth!!