Modification

[stepmom65]

What is the name of your state?California

My husband ex recently took him back to court for a modification increase (12/23/04) She asked for $500 more per month, tax exemptions, and hardship for her 2 other kids. After all was said and done, she got a $68 a month increase.... (FYI, my husband currently pays $900 per month for 2 kids, and all insurance benefits/expenses).


She has no job, behind 3 months in car payments, didn't make her rent payment last month, and has 2 more kids since the divorce 8 years ago, which by the way she's taking that dad to court next week for more $$$

Apparently, my husband told me (I wasn't in court), that she argued with the judge after his decision to give her $68 and nothing else. The judge told her "it's not your ex's problem that you are behind in payments, you have no job and you have more kids to support). She still feels that someone other than herself is responsible for her lack of $$$. She believes that since my husband has had the tax exception for 8 years she should be able to claim for the next 8 years, even though she has no use for it.....The judge told her what we already know, he's the breadwinner, she'd not, end of story....She called my ex directly after leaving court and said she will take him back, because what the judge did was not fair. We just got a copy of the new modification court date in the mail yesterday. The last court date was 12/23 (2 weeks ago).

Will the judge get annoyed with someone if they keep filing for a modification, knowing full well that nothing has increased as far as my husband's income, assets, etc.??
Will the courts eventually tell her to stop wasting everyone's time???
Can she be held in contempt if she continues to pursue this???

 

[king sol]

Unless she have a valid change is circumstances which has happened in the past two weeks, this action will definately hurt her standing in future court hearings.

Judges don't like their time being wasted either. Judges do have the power to find people in contept, she will probably just receive a scolding.

If she felt that the ruling was illegal she should have filed an appeal not another modification.

Good luck, ex's are usually no fun at all!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?California

My husband ex recently took him back to court for a modification increase (12/23/04) She asked for $500 more per month, tax exemptions, and hardship for her 2 other kids. After all was said and done, she got a $68 a month increase.... (FYI, my husband currently pays $900 per month for 2 kids, and all insurance benefits/expenses).


She has no job, behind 3 months in car payments, didn't make her rent payment last month, and has 2 more kids since the divorce 8 years ago, which by the way she's taking that dad to court next week for more $$$

Apparently, my husband told me (I wasn't in court), that she argued with the judge after his decision to give her $68 and nothing else. The judge told her "it's not your ex's problem that you are behind in payments, you have no job and you have more kids to support). She still feels that someone other than herself is responsible for her lack of $$$. She believes that since my husband has had the tax exception for 8 years she should be able to claim for the next 8 years, even though she has no use for it.....The judge told her what we already know, he's the breadwinner, she'd not, end of story....She called my ex directly after leaving court and said she will take him back, because what the judge did was not fair. We just got a copy of the new modification court date in the mail yesterday. The last court date was 12/23 (2 weeks ago).

Will the judge get annoyed with someone if they keep filing for a modification, knowing full well that nothing has increased as far as my husband's income, assets, etc.??
Will the courts eventually tell her to stop wasting everyone's time???
Can she be held in contempt if she continues to pursue this???

One thing that you might do for her....because she may not realize this..is to tell her the following:

The tax exemption and the child tax credit is basically useless to her unless she worked enough in 2004 to actually have to pay a significant amount of taxes. The child tax credit is not a refundable credit. However, if the children live with her more than 50% of the time, then she is still entitled to claim head of household status and to get EIC (earned income credit)...assuming that she did work some in 2004.

She may think that she is not entitled to those if she doesn't get the tax exemption, and that may be why she is so upset at the judge's ruling. She may be counting on a significant tax refund to pull herself out the the hole financially. She can still have that.

 

[stepmom65]

Hi.

She knows all that...She just wants...She wants more money and the deductions...The judge also told her that if she insisted on taking the deductions, then she can expect to get a reduction in CS...That's when she went nuts. She just wants, wants, wants and is not willing to give an inch.

She keeps having babies with men who dump her, she's 48...My husband gets paid $65,000 a year, he's 42, I work and get $60,000 a year, I'm 39. I own my own house (solely) and we DO NOT have kids together, or plan to. I have my son, 20 yrs old, in college and he has his 2 kids.... She doesn't like the fact that I make $60K and she can't touch any of it....She tells the court that because of my income, he has an income of $120 a year, and that my house is an asset to him (I purchased it way before I even met him) and therefore he should be paying her more CS..... Of course, the judge tells her otherwise.... She doesn't get it that she's creating her own circumstances by picking the men she does..

 

[king sol]

You should be happy that you can afford child support. You and your husband make extremely good $. Dad is currently paying less than 10% of your incomes on his children.

Why has money become so important to you and hubby that you cannot share the blessings God has given you with those less fortunate. Especially when it for the care and support of your family?

 

[audster]

Why has money become so important to you and hubby that you cannot share the blessings God has given you with those less fortunate. Especially when it for the care and support of your family?

ohhh whatever.....You pay what is court ordered and if you want to spend more on the child (and I usually do) then do it during your parenting time, not just hand over money to the ex to spend on whatever she wants....leave the Holier than thou attitude in church where it belongs.

 

[king sol]

Not holier than thou...............

Just thinking of the best interest of the children.

And believing that it is better to share your wealth with others regardless if it a child support issue or maybe say a Tsunami!

 

[stepmom65]

King Sol, I just don't get you

king sol...what planet are you from anyway.

Yes, $900 a month CS for 2 kids on his salary of $65,000 doesn't seem much, but consider this. He has 50/50 physical, mental custody of his kids. The courts set up the standards, not us. We have never asked anything from her, EVER!!!!!! All she's required to do is keep a roof over their heads and make sure they don't starve!!!!

We pay for all medical and dental insurance, copays, deductables, including braces. We pay for all clothing, school supplies, lunch money, pictures, etc. We purchased bed for their mother's house, because they were sleeping on the floor. We purchase all my daughter's feminine hygene products for our household and their mothers. God forbid she spend any CS on tampons for her daughter. Oh, and the daughter is not allowed to use her supply....

We caught my step-daughter stealing towels to mom's. Why, because there isn't any towels at her mom's to use....Only a couple, and only mom can use them......My stepkids brings all their dirty laundry to our home to wash, why, because mom doesn't have any money for the coin laundrymat......
Do we say anything to mom or the kids. NO, why..because we love those kids and anything that we can do to better their life, is worth any money that we spend....

My husband has 50% custody and nobody helps us with any $$$$. When I say we, I mean WE...it is not a burden for my husband or myself to pay any of these things plus more necessities and non-necessities!!!! I would gladly do it all over again for these kids.

It's not my husband's nor my fault that the mother prefers welfare to working. It's not our fault that she continues to have children she cannot afford and who's fathers disappear off the planet. Why do we get criticized for this???? Why do we get criticized to make her accountable for taking care of her children 50% of the time??? No, instead we get criticized for wanting her to be responsible for her own actions or lack of actions.

Or and one more thing. My stepdaughter has a car now...Who bought the car, pays for insurance, etc....WE DO!!!!

One more thing, even though we make a lot of money, A large amount of this money goes toward attorney's fees to fight her off.. We have spend a total of $30,000 in attorney's fees just fighting for our rights!!!!! She doesn't use an attorney and files everything on a whim herself.

So don't criticize me, I know I'm the exception and not the rule!!!! and Damn proud of it!!!!

 

[king sol]

Let crunch numbers...............

you have spent $30,000 on attorneys fees

Mom is requesting $500 more per month

That is five years worth of $ that you could have chosen to give to your children, instead you padded a lawyers pocket book.

 

[audster]

I'm curious as to whether King Sol is a CP or NCP...or maybe a CSE/ public aid employee?

 

[audster]

OK, hmmmmmm....
Guessing s/he is NOT NCP!!!!!

King Sol (Queen Sol, maybe?),

There are numerous cases out there where CS does not even go to the child. I'm not saying every CP is out for Blood Money, there are good and bad! But, sadly, it is my form opinion that this is true in the majority of cases. So, you tell me, what is better? Spending more money on the child directly on your own accord, or payiing more CS to a welfare mom who is going to spend it on bars, booze and bonbons? Gee, no brainer!

Did you miss the 50/50 physical custody part...biomom only has the kid half the time anyway! That means she only has to worry about kids need half the time! Why the hell does she need more CS?

I'm guessing you are definitly disgruntled CP....

 

[king sol]

I have been on both sides of the issue. I used to be just like you, always complaining and trying to force the ex to take responsibility and get a job. I wasted thousand and thousand of hours being negative and hateful. Ten years have past and I have come to realize that it's only money. I mean really! You just have to hope that the ex is using the $ for good and not evil. And in my case, put it all in the hands of the Lord.

And when all else fails, the wise words of ol' Judge Judy...you tell yourself or your spouse

"you picked 'em"​

realizing that the other person is not some evil monster but a person that at one time love you and you loved enough to share the greatest love of all with......children!

 

[king sol]

Audster-

Guessed wrong! And right! Just have been given the opportunity to see it from both sides.

 

[stepmom65]

King Sol...we paid $30,000 for attorney's because even if she received $3000 a month in CS, Those kids would have NOTHING!!!!!!!! Do you want to know what she spend her last CS support check on.....$900. Over the holidays, while the children were with us, she went to Mexico, and got botox treatments on her lip...., how do we know...when she dropped off the kids...her mouth looked like a truck ran into it and her "sister" told us....

Anyhow, I stand by my previous posts.....CP Mothers need to GET A F*ING JOB and CLOSE UP THAT UTERUS!!!!!!

 

[audster]

Ohhh pleeeeze.....

Love has nothng to do with it. My ex has come to me numerous time whining and moaning about her and her new husbands misery.....and in the (as you put it) wise words of Judge Judy,I DID tell her "you picked Him! Not my f**king problem!" If she cannot handle the "burden" oif raising our daughter and the other tribe she sqatted out since we split, then maybe she should quit fighting to keep her and just sign her over! Another no brainer! No freakin' sympathy!