What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington
My husband has joint custody of his 15 yr old son. They do a 50/50 split, alternating weeks & we pay her $100 per month in child support. He & I have 3 children together. His ex recently told us that she is moving to Minnesota (in less than 6 weeks) to be with her new (very new) boyfriend and she is ok with leaving their son here to live with us full time. She proposed to us a parenting plan which allows her most all of their sons vacation time from school- which is fine- and most of the summer- which is ok too. However, she recieves a food card (EBT) from the state in the amount of like 100 bucks and she offered to let us use that as some form of payment to help with having their son full time (which is totally illegal). She also offered to get a prepaid visa for their son and said that she planned on putting money on the card for their son each month (but not a specific amount) for things that he might need when he asks her for it. During our discussion with her my husband explained that he felt that she needed to follow the same Wa State child support laws that he had to follow when establishing child support for her and she literally flipped her lid and accused us of only caring about money & the discussion ended real quick. To give you a little history, about 2 years ago we went to trial over these same issues. When their son was about 10 they agreed to "Joint" & 50/50 for all expenses and had their agreement notarized and she called support enforcement to stop garnishment (he was paying 260 while the pp said he had their son every other weekend, this was prior to the Joint arrangement) We all got along great until she decided to move almost 2 hrs away with a new boyfriend (not the current one) and she took their son because the LEGAL pp said my husband only had every other weekend visitation(remember they only notarized a paper & didn't do anything through the court) so naturally he took their notarized 'Joint agreement & 50/50 expenses' to an attorney and he requested a modification to support the Joint. After she was served these papers and forced to move their son back to where we could continue joint until a trial, she reopened the child support and claimed that we had agreed to pay her 'directly' and that was why she stopped the garnishment. Luckily we had the notarized doc (and so many other pieces of evidence) that said otherwise, but she honestly fought this issue and tried collecting over 2 yrs of back support because during that time there was a legit court order for him to pay, even though they agreed otherwise. Luckily at the trial we weren't ordered to pay a dime, however a new child support amount was set according to the Joint custody because we made more money than she did, but of course it wasn't very much money because we have him equal amount of time & provide his medical insurance. So anyway, my point is... we learned a valuable lesson which is whatever agreements that get made, need to be done through the courts with the stamp of a Judge. Now that she is leaving the state in a few weeks, she wants us to just sign and notarize a new agreement... and she DOES NOT want to have a legal child support order for her to pay a set amount each month. She just wants to send her son money as she sees fit. Is this crazy or is it just me??? What if she just leaves without finalizing all this stuff and my husbands checks keep getting garnished while she's living across the country and their son is with us FULL time. We don't know what to do because we don't agree with her financial proposal at all. Ugh. Any advice?
My husband has joint custody of his 15 yr old son. They do a 50/50 split, alternating weeks & we pay her $100 per month in child support. He & I have 3 children together. His ex recently told us that she is moving to Minnesota (in less than 6 weeks) to be with her new (very new) boyfriend and she is ok with leaving their son here to live with us full time. She proposed to us a parenting plan which allows her most all of their sons vacation time from school- which is fine- and most of the summer- which is ok too. However, she recieves a food card (EBT) from the state in the amount of like 100 bucks and she offered to let us use that as some form of payment to help with having their son full time (which is totally illegal). She also offered to get a prepaid visa for their son and said that she planned on putting money on the card for their son each month (but not a specific amount) for things that he might need when he asks her for it. During our discussion with her my husband explained that he felt that she needed to follow the same Wa State child support laws that he had to follow when establishing child support for her and she literally flipped her lid and accused us of only caring about money & the discussion ended real quick. To give you a little history, about 2 years ago we went to trial over these same issues. When their son was about 10 they agreed to "Joint" & 50/50 for all expenses and had their agreement notarized and she called support enforcement to stop garnishment (he was paying 260 while the pp said he had their son every other weekend, this was prior to the Joint arrangement) We all got along great until she decided to move almost 2 hrs away with a new boyfriend (not the current one) and she took their son because the LEGAL pp said my husband only had every other weekend visitation(remember they only notarized a paper & didn't do anything through the court) so naturally he took their notarized 'Joint agreement & 50/50 expenses' to an attorney and he requested a modification to support the Joint. After she was served these papers and forced to move their son back to where we could continue joint until a trial, she reopened the child support and claimed that we had agreed to pay her 'directly' and that was why she stopped the garnishment. Luckily we had the notarized doc (and so many other pieces of evidence) that said otherwise, but she honestly fought this issue and tried collecting over 2 yrs of back support because during that time there was a legit court order for him to pay, even though they agreed otherwise. Luckily at the trial we weren't ordered to pay a dime, however a new child support amount was set according to the Joint custody because we made more money than she did, but of course it wasn't very much money because we have him equal amount of time & provide his medical insurance. So anyway, my point is... we learned a valuable lesson which is whatever agreements that get made, need to be done through the courts with the stamp of a Judge. Now that she is leaving the state in a few weeks, she wants us to just sign and notarize a new agreement... and she DOES NOT want to have a legal child support order for her to pay a set amount each month. She just wants to send her son money as she sees fit. Is this crazy or is it just me??? What if she just leaves without finalizing all this stuff and my husbands checks keep getting garnished while she's living across the country and their son is with us FULL time. We don't know what to do because we don't agree with her financial proposal at all. Ugh. Any advice?
