S
Solveig
Guest
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? North Carolina
Hi, I'm new to this forum and hope y'all will redirect me if I'm posting this in an inappropriate spot. I am 10 weeks pregnant. The father is an old boyfriend of mine from college, after many years of random Christmas cards (we parted amicably going to live in different cities many years ago) --we saw each other in July at a weekend-long wedding, we are both single (he has never married, I am widowed), we rekindled the flame (poor judgement, I know, please don't judge) and even though we were careful, I am now pregnant. It took me a few weeks to tell him, but I did this week. He lives out of my state (has three homes, all over the eastern coast) At first he was supportive of my decision to have the child, I'd very much like to have the baby, he'd prefer that it be placed in adoption, but said (at first) that he'd contribute financially but was not in an "emotional" place to have a child.
After this first conversation, I let myself stand still and figure things out. However, this morning he called while I was out and left a voice mail that he thinks I'm making a mistake having the baby and if I choose to keep it, he wanted no part of it -- his exact words are "we are two different people, and I don't want any sort of relationship with you or the child."
That was it. I realize this is early on, and I hate fighting with anyone, much less someone whom I feel is behaving recklessly.
I'm financially in a good place, am 38, widowed, have a ten year old daughter and am retired, I have the time and resources to offer a good home. I feel the father is flattering himself that I would *want* a relationship with him after these comments, but that's another song all together.
That's background for you: my concern lies with the child and if he/she ever wants to know their dad. I feel his name should be on their birth certificate (and he obviously doesn't care whether the child has his last name, etc.)
Do I just leave him alone and let his ego back over his karma with this decision to not participate or contribute? Is there a legal path I need to follow, should I have him terminate his rights?
I realize this isn't the most savory of circumstances but really appreciate any help or insight available. Thanks!
Hi, I'm new to this forum and hope y'all will redirect me if I'm posting this in an inappropriate spot. I am 10 weeks pregnant. The father is an old boyfriend of mine from college, after many years of random Christmas cards (we parted amicably going to live in different cities many years ago) --we saw each other in July at a weekend-long wedding, we are both single (he has never married, I am widowed), we rekindled the flame (poor judgement, I know, please don't judge) and even though we were careful, I am now pregnant. It took me a few weeks to tell him, but I did this week. He lives out of my state (has three homes, all over the eastern coast) At first he was supportive of my decision to have the child, I'd very much like to have the baby, he'd prefer that it be placed in adoption, but said (at first) that he'd contribute financially but was not in an "emotional" place to have a child.
After this first conversation, I let myself stand still and figure things out. However, this morning he called while I was out and left a voice mail that he thinks I'm making a mistake having the baby and if I choose to keep it, he wanted no part of it -- his exact words are "we are two different people, and I don't want any sort of relationship with you or the child."
That was it. I realize this is early on, and I hate fighting with anyone, much less someone whom I feel is behaving recklessly.
I'm financially in a good place, am 38, widowed, have a ten year old daughter and am retired, I have the time and resources to offer a good home. I feel the father is flattering himself that I would *want* a relationship with him after these comments, but that's another song all together.
That's background for you: my concern lies with the child and if he/she ever wants to know their dad. I feel his name should be on their birth certificate (and he obviously doesn't care whether the child has his last name, etc.)
Do I just leave him alone and let his ego back over his karma with this decision to not participate or contribute? Is there a legal path I need to follow, should I have him terminate his rights?
I realize this isn't the most savory of circumstances but really appreciate any help or insight available. Thanks!