Move Away-Little Time Left

[rockMEhardplace]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

Let me apologize in advance for the length...want you to have as many details as possible.
My husband has been divorced for almost 3 years. He and his ex-wife have joint custody of 2 boys-ages 4 & 7. Child support order states that he pay 20%, provide insurance, and pay half of all medical, etc. Visitation guideline states that he gets the boys every Monday night, and every other weekend from Friday at 5 until Sunday at 5, 4 weeks out of the summer, one week at Thanksgiving, one week at Christmas, and any other time that can be agreed upon by both parties. That being said, he actually gets the boys every other Tuesday, every Thursday, and every other weekend from Friday (picks them up at baby-sitter's) until Monday (drops them off at baby-sitter's). The CS order has been followed, but Mom asked Dad for an increase about 6 weeks ago...this was an agreement between them only. There has been nothing done in court since the divorce. Other than petty little things, there has been no arguing, etc. Children are exchanged at baby-sitter's house(also the grandmother of ex-wife) and child support payments are left there as well. On 3/23, ex-wife called to discuss sick child, and says, "Oh, and I start my new job on 4/10. We are moving to Nashville, TN. I am going to go ahead and move, but I am not going to take (son) out of school. The boys are going to live with my mother until school gets out in May.I will meet you half-way for pick-up and drop-off." Husband calls lawyer who tells him there is nothing in the divorce papers about either parent moving and that as long as she informs him and the court of her new address, there is nothing he can do. Here are the problems: due to distance and work, husband can't be at pick-up point until late Friday night(around 8 pm) and will have to leave for drop-off around 12 pm on Sunday, leaving him with substantially less time with the boys. There will be an added expense on his part resulting from traveling. Insurance will be out of network and cover much less (if any) than it currently does. Husband would like boys to stay with him prior to move. What can/should he do?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

 

[nextwife]

He is obviously a very involved parent and can document significant time spent each week with the children.

He should file to block ANY move OF THE CHILDREN out of state and also file for at least temporary custody in lieu of Grandma having it. A parent is always preferable to a grandparent for custody if not unfit.

 

[stealth2]

In other words, he needs to file with the court that he's contesting the move.

 

[Just Blue]

In other words, he needs to file with the court that he's contesting the move.

It's also strange that your attorney said there was nothing you could do about the move-away....You might want to consider a new attorney...

 

[nextwife]

It's also strange that your attorney said there was nothing you could do about the move-away....You might want to consider a new attorney...

I agree. Spounds like a wus.

 

[rockMEhardplace]

If we filed contesting the move, would she have to prove it to be beneficial to the boys? The move is job-related. Apparantly she will be making a LOT more money. What factors would a judge use to make such a decision? Also, her income is going to increase, but my husbands will not. The added expense of travel will affect us. Is there anything that could be done about that?

 

[nextwife]

First, he should file to block the move. More money is NOT a substitute for having the other parent in their everyday life. More stuff, or pricier stuff is NOT better than more TIME with their parent(s). If the theory is that having a child live in a home with the greatest available dollars were valid, then every NCP with the greater income would be awarded custody!

If a move IS allowed, Dad should petition to have all the added costs of visitaion paid by Mom, as she is creating the distance AND to increase Dad's summer visitation and other long breaks.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If there is nothing in their parenting plan re relacation then he will need an attorney experienced in relocation issues which can be tricky. A move has to be in the child's best interest and since mom is already conceeding that a move during the school year is not in at least one of the children's best interest he has a better chance, but it is far too complicated to go through on an internet forum. You might send a PM to weenor, she is an attorney in AL she may be able to give you some insight as each state may use different case law if statute doesn't cover relocation. Since the parents have JOINT custody, mom can't decide alone that her mother gets custody (temp guardianship) instead of dad in her absense or that dad should pay more for the inconvienence that she created. This is less than 30 days notice and the whole plan does not seem to be in the children's best interest and seems as if mom is not acting in good faith to ask for more child support out of court and not inform dad that she is planning on moving. Is this a transfer or new employment, is there a new spouse or boyfriend that is the real reason for the move? Thus your husband has several options:
1. If dad want's to and is able to become CP, he can petition the court for a TRO to prevent the children's move and at the same time emergency custody when mom moves from the state and modifications to the parenting plan, with mom paying the cost of transportation since she created the distance, the difference in medical or mom paying for medical, exchanges to continue at childcare or new childcare location, mom to have NCP visitation, pay child support/child care.... see this link for more information
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moving.php
And this link provides a list of things that can help your husband strengthen his case.
Preparing For A 'Move-Away' Or Custody Battle
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moveaway.php
2. Modify the current plan to a long distance visitation, Dad would have increased time in summer to offset decreasd time in school year, this could also include spring vacation, with mom paying or providing transportation to dad's residence which will create a burden for mom to either drive all day to get the children there by 5pm and the additional cost of an adult to fly since they are too young to fly alone, obtaining medical insurance in the new state and paying the entire cost of medical.

Check on the rating of the schoold in both cities to see which has the best schools and use accordingly.

Recent case law, http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moving3.php please note all examples include moves to Mississippi only not moves from Mississippi. YOu may also look at TN cases.

* Whether the move would be likely to improve the general quality of life for both the primary physical custodian and the children.
* Whether the motive for seeking the move is for the express purpose of defeating visitation.
* Whether the custodial parent, once out of the jurisdiction, will be likely to comply with any substitute visitation arrangements.
* Whether the substitute visitation wil be adequate to foster a continuing meaningful relationship between the children and the noncustodial parent.
* Whether the cost of transportation is financially affordable by one or both of the parents.
* Whether the move is in the best interests of the child. (This sixth requirement we believe is a generalized summary of the previous five).

Please see this section for discussion of employment relaocation, decisiton can go either way which is why it is important to prove that it is in the child's best intrest to remain in Mississippi.

VII. REASONS FOR RELOCATION

 

[rockMEhardplace]

Thank you so much. We thought there was nothing we could do. I can't tell you how helpful this has been. EW's only stated reason for moving is for a job. This is new employment that she sought out. She has no family/friends in TN. I have tried very hard to only state the facts and not voice my personal opinion, but I do believe that she has had a hard time reconciling the fact that she divorced a wonderful husband/father. Now that he has moved on and remarried, she seems to be trying to "get his attention." She told him she had cancer a few months ago. He told her we would do all we could to help her through it (his mother had just passed from cancer) and she has never said another word about it. Initially, I doubted the seriousness of the move, but she does have a 'For Sale by Owner' sign in her yard. She is a great mother, so I have to believe that she took eveything into consideration before deciding to move, but I can't understand her reasoning...It must be a tremendous amount of money. Unfortunately, I guess that is more important to some people than children having a loving father around. As I step down from my soap box, I want to say "Thank you" again to all who took the time to respond.

 

[Texaslady99]

you can stop relocation

a friend of mine stopped his exwife from moving with their son to Kansas. There was nothing in Kansas but the mom's fiance's family. She was going to find a job when she got there. There was nothing in their decree limiting either of them from moving so as soon as he was notified he sought out a lawyer and the judge ended up limiting the child's residence to the county he currently resides in.

To say that mom was not happy is the understatement of the century. I feel that one of her comments on the stand is what did her in...

attorney: Do you intend to help with the financial costs of getting your son back to his father for his visits with him?

mom: No.

attorney: Then what do propose to do about your son's time with his dad?

Mom: His time will end up being minimized.

Mom really thought there was nothing that he could do to stop her.

This can be fought but you are going to have to get a good attorney. Make a list of questions and ask all of them. You are paying them, get a good one!!!

And I wish you the best!!

 

[Just Blue]

a friend of mine stopped his exwife from moving with their son to Kansas. There was nothing in Kansas but the mom's fiance's family. She was going to find a job when she got there. There was nothing in their decree limiting either of them from moving so as soon as he was notified he sought out a lawyer and the judge ended up limiting the child's residence to the county he currently resides in.

To say that mom was not happy is the understatement of the century. I feel that one of her comments on the stand is what did her in...

attorney: Do you intend to help with the financial costs of getting your son back to his father for his visits with him?

mom: No.

attorney: Then what do propose to do about your son's time with his dad?

Mom: His time will end up being minimized.
Mom really thought there was nothing that he could do to stop her.

This can be fought but you are going to have to get a good attorney. Make a list of questions and ask all of them. You are paying them, get a good one!!!

And I wish you the best!!

Okay...this woman you speak of is either stupid or.....no.. she is just stupid!! Talk about shooting yourseld in the foot!!

 

[Texaslady99]

you said it, my mouth just dropped open when she said that. I really could not believe that I heard it...It was one of those moments when you ask yourself did I really just hear what I heard?

 

[ceara19]

Okay...this woman you speak of is either stupid or.....no.. she is just stupid!! Talk about shooting yourseld in the foot!!

I think she actually shot herself a little higher up then the foot.