NCP Adopting a child and trying to lower Child support for bio children

[jayscue56]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC. My ex husband and I have 3 kids, he pays 600. a month and wants to file for modification to lower child support cause his job cut hours. I found out that he is in the process of trying to adopt a child. That only tells me that he is lieing about his financial situation. My question is if he files for this modification will him trying to adopt be a factor??? You can't adopt for free!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC. My ex husband and I have 3 kids, he pays 600. a month and wants to file for modification to lower child support cause his job cut hours. I found out that he is in the process of trying to adopt a child. That only tells me that he is lieing about his financial situation. My question is if he files for this modification will him trying to adopt be a factor??? You can't adopt for free!!!

It is very possible that he is both adopting a child and his job cut hours. And you can adopt for low cost if you are going through the state. You need facts quite frankly of which you have none.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC. My ex husband and I have 3 kids, he pays 600. a month and wants to file for modification to lower child support cause his job cut hours. I found out that he is in the process of trying to adopt a child. That only tells me that he is lieing about his financial situation. My question is if he files for this modification will him trying to adopt be a factor??? You can't adopt for free!!!

Why is he lying? When DH and I adopted, I covered the cost, and had the income needed without his income.

Or is he adopting as a single?

Actually, when adopting through foster care, you CAN adopt for nearly free. Or the Mrs is covering the adoption costs. Sounds like the mod is due to the job, and not the child who isn't his yet.

If his wife were pregnant, would you tell him to have her stop the pregnancy because he lost his job?

 

[Ohiogal]

Why is he lying? When DH and I adopted, I covered the cost, and had the income needed without his income.

Or is he adopting as a single?

Actually, when adopting through foster care, you CAN adopt for nearly free. Or the Mrs is covering the adoption costs. Sounds like the mod is due to the job, and not the child who isn't his yet.

If his wife were pregnant, would you tell him to have her stop the pregnancy because he lost his job?

Boy is that a loaded question because you know, I think some would.

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC. My ex husband and I have 3 kids, he pays 600. a month and wants to file for modification to lower child support cause his job cut hours. I found out that he is in the process of trying to adopt a child. That only tells me that he is lieing about his financial situation.

My question is if he files for this modification will him trying to adopt be a factor??? You can't adopt for free!!!

Actually you can - of you do it through the state system - Also, your can adopt fairly cheaply if you pay only legal fees to finalize, but have found the birthmom privately.

You are assuming an awful lot here.

d

 

[nextwife]

Actually you can - of you do it through the state system - Also, your can adopt fairly cheaply if you pay only legal fees to finalize, but have found the birthmom privately.

You are assuming an awful lot here.

For sure!

There are also adoption subsidies and special assistance in some programs when adopting designated special needs children.

I remember one wonderful young man, for whom many of us pitched in to help get adoption fees paid. He had suffered a misshaped cranium due to a botched forecepts delivery in my daughter's native country, and was suffering abuse, by the other kids in the orphanage, due to looking different. Between his gov't subsidies for his adoption and what we and church type groups put together, the family that adopted him (and ultimately helped him with corrective surguries) paid nearly nothing for the actual adoption costs out of their pocket.

 

[Gracie3787]

My question is if he files for this modification will him trying to adopt be a factor???

No.
Especially if he began the adoption process BEFORE his work hours were cut.

 

[jayscue56]

I was not aware that you could adopt for nearly free. Yes I am assuming because he has done everything he possibly could not to pay child support, but I am not asking him to stop the adoption, I was asking about the child support modification. He is married but his wife is not employed. He claims he is not making it financially but his lifestyle shows different. I agreed through child support for him to pay the 600. a month without knowing how much he actually makes because he threatened me with quiting his job, going to school and getting a part time $8.00 and hr job and paying hardly nothing. I may not be in favor of him adopting because of the emotional aspect because 2 years ago they lived here and we had 50/50 custody and the kids were confused about going house to house and they told them they wanted to live with me during the week and see him on weekends, well their stepmom told them "well if you aren't gonna love us we will adopt a child that does" and they moved across the United States. But I know I can't tell them not to adopt, they don't even know that I am aware of this and I am not gonna say anything I just wanted to know if it affects the child support.

 

[momofrose]

I was not aware that you could adopt for nearly free. Yes I am assuming because he has done everything he possibly could not to pay child support, but I am not asking him to stop the adoption, I was asking about the child support modification.

Is he behind in child support? Is the support court ordered?


He is married but his wife is not employed. He claims he is not making it financially but his lifestyle shows different.

Lifestyle is in the eye of the beholder...

I agreed through child support for him to pay the 600. a month without knowing how much he actually makes because he threatened me with quiting his job, going to school and getting a part time $8.00 and hr job and paying hardly nothing.

Then that was your fault - you should have gone through the courts and had him(and you) submit financial papers and Case Information Statements.

I may not be in favor of him adopting because of the emotional aspect because 2 years ago they lived here and we had 50/50 custody and the kids were confused about going house to house and they told them they wanted to live with me during the week and see him on weekends, well their stepmom told them "well if you aren't gonna love us we will adopt a child that does" and they moved across the United States.

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard - who care if you may bit be in favor or them adopting - it is NONE of your business and it is up to YOU to make sure that the children know they are loved by both parents.

But I know I can't tell them not to adopt, they don't even know that I am aware of this and I am not gonna say anything I just wanted to know if it affects the child support.

It might affect child support after the child is adoption legally - check your state child support regulations.

 

[jayscue56]

Yes but it IS my business that they already do not feel loved by their dad because of the things said when they moved. I am the one who had to comfort them when he and his wife were telling them that they were moving to CA and adopting a baby who could love them because they were mad at the kids, he cursed out my older daughter and blamed her for all the kids wanting to be here, he told my daughter HE WOULD NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT. Does that sound like love to you???? This is NOT ridiculous, I WANT my children to have a loving relationship with their father and I have taken great measures to make sure they see him and talk to him, he is not making the effort I am! I have had the kids in therapy for HIS "ridiculous" acts and I AM being ridiculous????
I went through child support enforcement and it is court ordered, I agreed to $600. a month in fear that he would quit his job! I asked CSE before going through them if they check his financial records because he takes cash jobs on the side for extra money and they said yes and guess what apparently the person that I sat for hours with discussing this and being assured that they would look into his bank statements and etc did not explain that since he lives in CA they don't do that! In the agreement it states that if they find out he is making sunstancially more that CS would be raised. I am okay with the $600. a month I am not trying to "break" him but no less than that! He is now being garnished because he wasn't paying

 

[questionforyou]

Boy is that a loaded question because you know, I think some would.

My ex-wife basically did this a few days ago. My wife got pregnant 5 days after I got out of the military. My ex-wife was saying that if I can't find work to pay CS then my wife shouldn't be pregnant. Also saying that my wife should be working because she doesn't even "look" pregnant yet and that could cover the CS.

My wife had a lot of medical problems with the pregnancy for our one and a half year old daughter, so we had looked into adopting through the state. It was only going to be about $500. So he is not necessarily lying.