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Need child support but father is abusive

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pashae2

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? ILLINOIS

My daughter is now 8 and she has my last name because her father wanted nothing to do with her and would not give her his name. I went for child support when my daughter was 1yr. Her father became very angry and took me to court and tried to get joint physical so he wouldn't have to pay and he didn't even know her. He did not get it. I have sole custody of my daughter. He got very little visitation. He harassed me telling me he was going to kill me, tried to get me to sell my daughter to people he knows, told me his friends were going to rape and kill me, etc. He continued to harass me till I dropped the child support. He told me I will leave you and your daughter alone if you drop the child support and I'll sign away my visitation. We did that and now we live in Illinois, he lives in California. It was just a horrible experience. I need my child support but want to know if anyone knows how hard it would be for him to get his visitation back and would he have to come to Illinois to fight me for it? In the beginning I tried so hard to make the visitation work for my daughter's sake even though it shattered my heart but he made it impossible.
I just tried to get him to change her medical and dental that he promised to keep her on by leaving a message through his work and his answer was we'll have to go through our attorneys. He won't even do anything for his daughter. It would be so simple for him to just change it so she could use it out of state but he just wants to harass me.
I had to get a restraining order on him and meet him at the police dept. for him to pick up and drop off my daughter, but on the days this dept. office was closed he would not show up and say it was me who didn't show up. These are just a few examples of what he does. So he does not know my daughter at all and she doesn't even ask about him.
It has been 7 yrs. sense he signed away his visitation and as I said I need to know HOW EASY it would be for him to get the VISITATION BACK and would he have to COME TO ILLINOIS FIGHT me for it. He does not know where I live.
Need an answer fast.

Pashae2
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
You're not going to get anything fast.

First, grow some balls. He is going to get visitation. That's his right as the child's father.

You, on the other hand, can file an order of protection if you have grounds.
 

pashae2

Junior Member
Grow some balls, hmm

Did you not read the part where he threatened to kill me.
He is in a gang which he joined when I was pregnant that
is why I didn't want anything to do with him.
And he wants nothing to do with my daughter at all.
He only wants to come into the picture to torture us when
I need help with support.
I am not sure if it has anything to do with balls.
Its is natural that a mother would want to protect her daughter
from death threats. I was pregnant at the time when he threatened
to kill me. And what kind of information do I need to file and order of
protection? I was hoping for legal advice, not criticism.
How much do you know about family law? And where did you get
your education in family law?
You didn't answer my questions only criticized me.
If you know about family law then again my question is would he have
to come to Illinois to fight me for visitation? He is in California.
And remember he signed away the little visitation he had gotten.
I am horribly harassed by this person and it affects not only me but my
daughter.
I have read where you talk rudely to other people seeking answers.
You would have to be in our shoes to understand how it feels to have
a child and her father do horrible things to us.
I am guessing you probably don't have children or if you do you have
never, ever, been in a situation like this.
Remember I need advice not criticism.
 

pashae2

Junior Member
Another thing

Another thing he doesn't even know her and she is 8 now.
At the time when her father got little visitation he right away
signed them away. Also we live 3000 mi. away from him.
So I am not real sure he's going to get too much.
He didn't before. He only got a few days a week and not
holidays or birthdays. And a lot of issues where not brought up
in court but this time there will be.
 

GrowUp!

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
Did you not read the part where he threatened to kill me.
And did YOU see the part where BB stated to get a protection order? I would say the answer to that question is "no.":rolleyes:

He is in a gang which he joined when I was pregnant that
is why I didn't want anything to do with him.
So he was in this alleged gang when he got you pregnant. Then you decided you didn't want anything to do with him, huh? Well, it's irrelevant anyway.

And he wants nothing to do with my daughter at all.
Which is his choice.

He only wants to come into the picture to torture us when
I need help with support.
Which happens to alot of CP's who collect support.

I am not sure if it has anything to do with balls.
yes, it does.

Its is natural that a mother would want to protect her daughter
from death threats. I was pregnant at the time when he threatened
to kill me. And what kind of information do I need to file and order of
protection? I was hoping for legal advice, not criticism.
You received legal advice. Look for it.

How much do you know about family law? And where did you get
your education in family law?
And who the hell are you to question anybody? You were given legal advice, PERIOD!

You didn't answer my questions only criticized me.
Yes, he did answer your questions.

If you know about family law then again my question is would he have
to come to Illinois to fight me for visitation? He is in California.
And remember he signed away the little visitation he had gotten.
Signed away to who? The court or only you? If it's the latter, you are not a Court of Law.

I am horribly harassed by this person and it affects not only me but my
daughter.
So where's your protection order? How about counseling?

I have read where you talk rudely to other people seeking answers.
You would have to be in our shoes to understand how it feels to have
a child and her father do horrible things to us.
Irrelevant.

I am guessing you probably don't have children or if you do you have
never, ever, been in a situation like this.
Remember I need advice not criticism.
And for the ___ time, you receieved advice. Either do something about it or deal with what's handed to you.

There are tons of women who claim violence with nothing to back it up. See the problem there?
 

GrowUp!

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
Another thing he doesn't even know her and she is 8 now.
At the time when her father got little visitation he right away
signed them away. Also we live 3000 mi. away from him.
So I am not real sure he's going to get too much.
He didn't before. He only got a few days a week and not
holidays or birthdays. And a lot of issues where not brought up
in court but this time there will be.
Listen chickie...he WILL get some sort of visitation. You will have to deal with it. And the "issues" might not be relevant in court, especially if you did nothing about it.

You either have proof or you have nothing. That's how it works.
 

pashae2

Junior Member
Seeking only mature people with mature decent replies

Yes, he signed away his visitation to the courts to answer your question.
You still didn't answer my question, breeze, where you got your family law
education. If you can't talk to me decent then don't reply to me at all.
I guess you really get something out of being rude.
And yes I do have proof that he has abused me and my daughter.
 
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AHA

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
Yes, he signed away his visitation to the courts to answer your question.
You still didn't answer my question, breeze, where you got your family law
education. If you can't talk to me decent then don't reply to me at all.
I guess you really get something out of being rude.
And yes I do have proof that he has abused me and my daughter.
Ok, stop asking lawyers here to justify them selves to you. That's just rude!! You decided to post your dirty laundry on the internet for the world to read instead of consulting with a lawyer in private, so get off your high horse right now and focus on the legal advice you have been given without having to pay ONE penny.

If you have proof that he is so dangerous, then surely you have reported all of that to the police and have gotten an RO on him, so that he's not allowed anywhere near you or the child, right?

Do you have a job/income? If not, then it's time to get one.
What do you mean he "signed his rights away"? If he did that, is there still a court order for him to pay cs? If he isn't paying what he is ordered to pay, then file for contempt of the order.
He joined a gang when you got pregnant and you decided you didn't want him around your child, which means you have to make sure that you can support yourself and your child on your own and not rely on the dangerous dad.
 
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GrowUp!

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
Yes, he signed away his visitation to the courts to answer your question.
Hmm...you sure about that because one simply doesn't have to exercise their visitation.

You still didn't answer my question, breeze, where you got your family law
education.
Ummm...NO ONE who answers you is obligated to tell you their background. BB IS a lawyer and that's all you need to know. If you don't like the advice BB gave you -- or anyone else -- then fork out the $$$ and pay a lawyer to give you advice.

And yes I do have proof that he has abused me and my daughter.
And what is it? And if it's old stuff you wish to dig up and use now, too late.
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If the most current order is from CA and he still lives there - that's pretty much where any further modifications will be heard.

What happened "before" that you didn't bring up in court likely can't be brought up now - it wasn't important enough for you to do so then, so the time for it is past.

So really, your choice is find a way to support your daughter w/o his help, or resign yourself that he WILL get visitation of the child you share.
 

pashae2

Junior Member
GrowUp! said:
And did YOU see the part where BB stated to get a protection order? I would say the answer to that question is "no.":rolleyes:


So he was in this alleged gang when he got you pregnant. Then you decided you didn't want anything to do with him, huh? Well, it's irrelevant anyway.


Which is his choice.


Which happens to alot of CP's who collect support.


yes, it does.


You received legal advice. Look for it.


And who the hell are you to question anybody? You were given legal advice, PERIOD!


Yes, he did answer your questions.


Signed away to who? The court or only you? If it's the latter, you are not a Court of Law.


So where's your protection order? How about counseling?


Irrelevant.


And for the ___ time, you receieved advice. Either do something about it or deal with what's handed to you.

There are tons of women who claim violence with nothing to back it up. See the problem there?
I did look for the legal advice and I didn't see it. All I saw was a bunch of people who claim to know the law, doesn't know how to answer question correctly, people who need peole skills, people who are very immature, . And where did you say you recieved you family law education?
 
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Neal1421

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
I did look for the legal advice and I didn't see it. All I saw was a bunch of people who claim to know the law, doesn't know how to answer question correctly, people who need peole skills, people who are very immature, And where did you say you recieved you family law education?
_.
You get what you pay for. Hire a lawyer.
 
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GrowUp!

Senior Member
pashae2 said:
I did look for the legal advice and I didn't see it. All I saw was a bunch of people who claim to know the law, doesn't know how to answer question correctly, people who need peole skills, people who are very immature, And where did you say you recieved you family law education?
_.
What is this obsession w/your backside?

Your posts continue to show your ignorance. Time to disconnect the modem from your trailer.
 
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pashae2

Junior Member
AHA said:
Ok, stop asking lawyers here to justify them selves to you. That's just rude!! You decided to post your dirty laundry on the internet for the world to read instead of consulting with a lawyer in private, so get off your high horse right now and focus on the legal advice you have been given without having to pay ONE penny.

If you have proof that he is so dangerous, then surely you have reported all of that to the police and have gotten an RO on him, so that he's not allowed anywhere near you or the child, right?

Do you have a job/income? If not, then it's time to get one.
What do you mean he "signed his rights away"? If he did that, is there still a court order for him to pay cs? If he isn't paying what he is ordered to pay, then file for contempt of the order.
He joined a gang when you got pregnant and you decided you didn't want him around your child, which means you have to make sure that you can support yourself and your child on your own and not rely on the dangerous dad.
I am not on a high horse at all. I only asked when I am being bashed by these people who can not be decent enough to just give me an answer without all this rudeness to
tell me where they got all their education from. I got no reply. I don't think that you know my postition to tell me I need a job. All I asked him for was to help with dental, braces,
and he wasabout it so I wanted to take him to court for the whole thing.
There is still a court order of him signing his visitation away, yes, filed in the courts.
Well I figure it's time for him to become responsible and I will fight him all the way like I did last time. If he can't just help me out with braces, which is all I need, then I take the alternative and force him to. I am doing well. I live in a huge 3 story Victorian house which is absolutley beautiful and my daughter is very well taken care of. She has a huge room with her own master bath. She is not in need of anything except braces.
My fiancee' has taken care of her since she has been born and we both agree that he should take some responsibilitly in helping out with braces. We came to an agreement before and he offered med. and dent. which was in order to stay in the agreement and
that is in the court. The only thing signed away was the visitation in the courts.
The med. and dent. still stand. My last attorney was excellent he had an office on Avenue of the stars, ste. 400. So I am not hurting for money, and not on a high horse, just wanted to know Illinois law so I know what stradegy to take.
I can afford an attorney and for advice I just stumble over this website and it looked interesting and I like to hear different peoples views, but I certainly don't need or deserve the treatment I have gotten so far.
 
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pashae2

Junior Member
Brains?

AHA said:
CLOSE THIS THREAD ASAP OR I'LL HAVE IT CLOSED FOR YOU! If you have any brains you would know why!

edit:
Thread has been reported.
Brains? You think you can talk rudely to me and not expect it back.
What's up with that. Now your going to go and tattle.
You like to say horrible things to people but when you get it back you
can't take it so you have to go and tattle. Yes, you should question the
word brains.
 
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