Need help to understand

[Momokaka]

What is the name of your state? North Dakota
Hi,
I just found this forum because I was searching the net for some informations about child support.
I just had a wonderful baby boy last month (January) and he is almost one month old.My girlfriend and I have been together for the all pregnacy stuff and I receive a letter from the Social services state she is living in which is different from mine.This letter states: Notice of parental liability for support and honestly, I don't understand what it is all about.She said that she didn't ask for Child support and based upon on what I understand, she is receiving help from the state and now they are asking me to pay for the child and medical assurance and stuff.I only wish I can do it but the thing is, I am not from here and based upon on my visa status, I can only go to school and not allow to work,only on campus (F1-student).
Until now, I have been doing mostly eveything I can to help her out and pay some expenses.I am not that reach and since I am not working, not from here but the only fact that I love this girl and this baby, made me do everything.From the kid clothes to the kid pampers, to this thing to sleep in, I payed every single thing from money I ask for from abroad.Now she is talking about getting married and I am really scared because there is some aspects I don't understand in the law and I wish somebody can help me out
Thanks

 

[stealth2]

So...... who did you think was going to help pay for the kid's needs? Mom's getting state aid - and the taxpayers are sort of funny about having to pay for other people's kids. You're going to be expected to support your child - including paying back the taxpayers. There's no free ride. I really don't know why this would be a surprise.

 

[DOS2005]

Reply to Momokaka

Well since you are a student and not working she can't get support from you anyway. She probably had to give the Social agencies information regarding the baby's father and whether she liked it or not they go after the dads or other parties these days. I would write to the agency who sent the letter and tell them your situation and that you, if you are infact the father will make private arrangements to help out with the baby's expenses as with your status you can't go through the CSEnforcement service. Good luck. Sorry you are in the situation. The only way your girlfriend could have not given the information to a Social agency she went for help to is to say she didn't know who the father was or if you aren't on the Birth certificate. Then you could request a paternity test to determine if you are the baby's dad and required to pay support or not. If you have no work or money you might want to check with legal aid on what your next move should be.

What is the name of your state? North Dakota
Hi,
I just found this forum because I was searching the net for some informations about child support.
I just had a wonderful baby boy last month (January) and he is almost one month old.My girlfriend and I have been together for the all pregnacy stuff and I receive a letter from the Social services state she is living in which is different from mine.This letter states: Notice of parental liability for support and honestly, I don't understand what it is all about.She said that she didn't ask for Child support and based upon on what I understand, she is receiving help from the state and now they are asking me to pay for the child and medical assurance and stuff.I only wish I can do it but the thing is, I am not from here and based upon on my visa status, I can only go to school and not allow to work,only on campus (F1-student).
Until now, I have been doing mostly eveything I can to help her out and pay some expenses.I am not that reach and since I am not working, not from here but the only fact that I love this girl and this baby, made me do everything.From the kid clothes to the kid pampers, to this thing to sleep in, I payed every single thing from money I ask for from abroad.Now she is talking about getting married and I am really scared because there is some aspects I don't understand in the law and I wish somebody can help me out
Thanks

 

[stealth2]

Well since you are a student and not working she can't get support from you anyway. She probably had to give the Social agencies information regarding the baby's father and whether she liked it or not they go after the dads or other parties these days. I would write to the agency who sent the letter and tell them your situation and that you, if you are infact the father will make private arrangements to help out with the baby's expenses as with your status you can't go through the CSEnforcement service. Good luck. Sorry you are in the situation. The only way your girlfriend could have not given the information to a Social agency she went for help to is to say she didn't know who the father was or if you aren't on the Birth certificate. Then you could request a paternity test to determine if you are the baby's dad and required to pay support or not. If you have no work or money you might want to check with legal aid on what your next move should be.

I'm sorry, DOS, but you are totally off base. Even a HS kid can be ordered to pay support - usually based on a min wage job. OPs problem is going to be that the mother has had to get state aid - and the state will not give a flying you know what about the father's problems - they WILL do what's necessary to get the money back. Since he CAN work on campus - he'd best start talking to people to find an on campus job.

But I do agree that OP should ask for a paternity test.

 

[rapunzel30]

I agree with stealth, get that oncampus job. This is also governments way of indirectly improving your wealth status. You can't succeed in life unless you work hard, and what better incentive to get you motivated then your own child.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? North Dakota
She said that she didn't ask for Child support and based upon on what I understand, she is receiving help from the state and now they are asking me to pay for the child and medical assurance and stuff.

She's either lying or didn't fully comprehend what she signed. When she signed up for state aid, she had to sign a form which signed her support rights over to the state and she had to name a father. Meaning, you'll pay the state and the state will pay her.

Your first step is to ask for a court ordered DNA test. I know you believe whole-heartedly that this child is yours, but you wouldn't be the first to find out it is not. If you are determined to be the father, you'll need to start paying the state.

 

[Momokaka]

Thanks

Hi,
Thanks you so much for your understanding.I think that I will definetely ask a DNA test order since I just find out that she has been receiving money every month (stuff she never told me about) despite the 350 dollars I have been giving to her whenever I can (which is mainly every two weeks).She received help for baby milk and food stamp and all that stuff and still me knowing how to read, I knew she was in this help program.She told me that I can even send the birth certificate of the baby to my dad who is living abroad.All this stuff is really confusing me.I just started working on my master thesis and my adviser felt that there is something wrong with my performance since my GPA and my research input drops a lot based on my previous performance.On top of that, I pay her mom rent at time since she is living with her mom and I even was willing to pay her a diamond ring for our wedding,but still there was something in my head telling me I shouldn't be doing all that.
By law, I know that I have 60 days to revoke this parternity thing and see what else come out.Is she want to get married to put me in trouble or what I don't know.
Suppose that I am really the father of this baby and the test show it, what should I do?
Suppose that the test shows that I am not, I think I know what to do.That technicality I was waiting for to make sure this baby was mine was the birth certificate.I thought they will stamped on it the ethnicity and then some doubt will go out of my mine but it shows nothing.What should I do really?
Thanks for your help.
I have beeen counting the 60 days period to revoke and now it is one month 2 days.What to do?
Thanks

 

[stealth2]

The birth certificate will not indicate ethnicity. The ONLY way for you to know with any certainty if the child is yours is to get a DNA test.