Negotiation child support vs division of property

[childrenRpeople]

What is the name of your state? CA

My ex is entitled to 50% (as of our date of separation) less $2000 of my annuity...this winds up being about $3000. He can keep it in an interest-bearing account or withdraw it at a 25% tax rate (and get about $2,250 in cash).
He has offered to give up the annuity if I will waive CS payments for a year. He is scheduled to begin making payments of $200 per month next month (I agreed to a grace period so he could get on his feet after unemployment). Such an arrangement would be in writing and notarized.
I am not a financial planner, so I'd appreciate some perspective. I suspect that many legal minds also are jacks-of-all-trades and dabble in financial issues.
I am sure I could make do and continue to financially support my son independently as I've done since he was born (3 yrs ago).
I realize that the CS payment is meant to support my son, not offset the property division but I can't help but consider it since, as I said, my son wants for little and it seems to me that I should let the annuity funds sit and draw interest (CS payments don't draw interest).
Any comments/perspectives about the financial/tax/other aspects of this arrangement?

I'd be much obliged....

CRP.

 

[VeronicaGia]

A notarized document isn't worth the paper it's printed on. Unless it's ordered by a judge, it's a worthless document.

Get it in writing, signed and ordered by the court or don't do it at all.

 

[childrenRpeople]

Okay...

I appreciate that.

Any perspective about whether or not it would financially/legally/tax wise to do it?

 

[VeronicaGia]

While I don't know what a judge will decide, I doubt a judge will allow you to waive the child's right to support. I know that didn't answer your question, but it's an important factor in your situation.

 

[childrenRpeople]

Good point

Yes, my child has a right to his support and I cannot use his support as leverage in property division negotiations....that was why I said, "I realize that the CS payment is meant to support my son, not offset the property division"

Now I feel so dirty : (

 

[VeronicaGia]

Yes, my child has a right to his support and I cannot use his support as leverage in property division negotiations....that was why I said, "I realize that the CS payment is meant to support my son, not offset the property division"

Now I feel so dirty : (

But you look good! LOL

 

[childrenRpeople]

Look good?

Not so sure I look good...
A mom whose willing to use her child's support to invest in her retirement?
Doesn't sound good...
But as I said, I would not even have pondered his offer if our little boy were wanting for anything...
But he is well-fed in a warm home wearing good clothes...let's just say that I've learned, as many parents on a budget do, to stretch $1 into $5

 

[VeronicaGia]

Honestly, I have no problem with it, but a judge will very likely have a problem with it. The child is taken care of, the parents aren't arguing over money, they're putting the kid first......not a problem in my book.

Your other option is to agree to a nominal amount of support from him in order to make the judge happy. If it makes you happy, send it back to him.

 

[childrenRpeople]

Good suggestion

Or perhaps have him reduce his CS payment by $100 for 2 years...so that there is still support coming in for our son and the annuity stays intact.

What is the worst case scenario for not getting this court-ordered? If we agree to everything and have it notarized, why should there be a problem?

In all honesty...we're tired of court

 

[VeronicaGia]

You have no way to enforce it. He could go to court and insist on you cashing in the annuity, and you could go to court and demand guideline child support.

You can always draw up the agreement, both of you sign it and see if a judge will in fact sign it. I have no idea of what a judge will decide, but it's unlikely. You never know though!

 

[childrenRpeople]

Help!

I let my ex know that I prefer to what is in the judgement, that I did not want to go along with his "deal" and I gave him the reasons why.
He is frustrated. In order to get his annuity portion, he has to provide a Qualified Domestics Relations Order to the annuity company. This is going to cost him extra money and I am not going to help pay for it since I am tapped out.
So, he just said to me, that if I am not willing to settle this in a way that is pleasing to him, he may have to explore his other legal options.
He says that he could take me back to court for more custodial time/lower child support payments.
Keep in mind that he hasn't even made one CS payment yet!
I reminded him that:
1) Our settlement was just entered as a judgement in Sept and now it seems that he is changing his mind about the things we settled upon. Can he take me back to court at will?
2) The CS is meant to help with our son's support, not to wheel-and-deal with.
I asked him to stick to our settlement and not use the threat of court as leverage to manipulate me into changing what is settled/entered as a judgement.
*Sigh*
Should I offer to help him pay for the QDRO? Could he really take me back to court this soon after a judgement/before even one CS payment has been made?
What should I do?????

 

[LdiJ]

I let my ex know that I prefer to what is in the judgement, that I did not want to go along with his "deal" and I gave him the reasons why.
He is frustrated. In order to get his annuity portion, he has to provide a Qualified Domestics Relations Order to the annuity company. This is going to cost him extra money and I am not going to help pay for it since I am tapped out.
So, he just said to me, that if I am not willing to settle this in a way that is pleasing to him, he may have to explore his other legal options.
He says that he could take me back to court for more custodial time/lower child support payments.
Keep in mind that he hasn't even made one CS payment yet!
I reminded him that:
1) Our settlement was just entered as a judgement in Sept and now it seems that he is changing his mind about the things we settled upon. Can he take me back to court at will?
2) The CS is meant to help with our son's support, not to wheel-and-deal with.
I asked him to stick to our settlement and not use the threat of court as leverage to manipulate me into changing what is settled/entered as a judgement.
*Sigh*
Should I offer to help him pay for the QDRO? Could he really take me back to court this soon after a judgement/before even one CS payment has been made?
What should I do?????

Well, he could try to take you back to court, but realistically he is very unlikely to get anywhere with that. I would take that as an "empty" threat. Also, unless the child support is ordered to be paid directly to you, rather than through the CSE or wage assessment you don't have the option of waiving it for a year in exchange for the annuity money.

I don't know how much money he makes, but 200.00 a month in child support is VERY low. Is that an amount you agreed upon? If so, he might be very unpleasantly surprized if he attempts a modification and you just allow it to be calculated based on your state guidelines.

 

[childrenRpeople]

Child support amount

He actually earns less than I do although his earning power is higher.
He has a degree, as I do, and works in sales. I am only an advisor at a college and my salary is set with only a 3% increase from year to year. He can double what I make.
He claims he only made $17,000 this year. I made $42K. Right now our son is with me more.
My ex is pushing for 50% time in the future...he wants us to do the one week with mom, one week with dad schedule. I am so afraid that he can take me back to court and demand that I pay HIM support. I guess I would have to do it but it seems unfair given the fact that his earning power is greater than mine.
He used to threaten that...that he would keep a minimum wage job for life to minimize the support or turn the tables so that I had to pay support.
Sheesh.
When he agreed to pay $200 for CS and $120 for daycare and half of our son's medical/dental premiums ($40), the total of $360 seemed helpful and I am glad that he is willing rather than forced. But now is even questioning his own offer in the settlement. He says he was "not as advised as I" when he made that decision although he had a lawyer too.
Well, now it's court-ordered. The CS payments start in Feb 05. I did not seek back support since he was not working and even allowed him the "grace period" to get on his feet.
The nerve of this guy complaining about a few hundred dollars to get yet more money.