New baby, child's father already pays CS

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by jul0317

Yes i did know that when I chose to get pregnant. And if his support gets modified, its not taking away from the first child, the mother is getting a substantial amount more than she is entitled to because of paperwork not being submitted. WHEN they modify her order she will get exactly what she is entitled to and nothing more.

You mean the CHILD. Whether it's your intent or not I don't know - but you have spoken so much about what MOM is getting...but very little about Dad actually supporting his child.

What if your husband was paying 4x the amount he is paying now all because he stupidly didnt submit the paperwork on time? Would you try to find a way to get the order modified so your child could have what he/she needs?

I would have postponed any plans to have children with him until the matter was sorted out.

I don't know you but I couldn't think of one single person who would just sit back and say "oh well, he made a mistake so we're not going to look into this to see if we can fix it, too bad for our child, JACKPOT for the others!".

Ditto previous answer.

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

WRONG. That's ABSOLUTELY what two people need to do - they need to be realistic and consider every angle when it comes to planning a child. And if there is already a child with a previous partner then I'm sorry but yes, sometimes we DO have to make the difficult decisions even if it doesn't result in what we want.



Every human being has the right to have as many children THEY CAN AFFORD TO SUPPORT. These are CHOICES we make. Nobody is saying Mom or Dad shouldn't have a second family - but doing so should never be at the expense of either set of offspring.

Wow! I don't think any of you setting forth your opinions are really reading this. AGAIN he would be able to afford to support himself and both the kids if this insane order wasn't in place. No one involved anticipated this was going to happen. ONCE it gets reviewed dad will be able to support and both of the offspring and himself.

I absolutely agree with you if someone is not financially able to support kids they should get there before they have them. But this is not that case.

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

You mean the CHILD. Whether it's your intent or not I don't know - but you have spoken so much about what MOM is getting...but very little about Dad actually supporting his child.



I would have postponed any plans to have children with him until the matter was sorted out.



Ditto previous answer.

What happens when the matter came about AFTER you had the child? Walk away? Give up cause that's just how the world works???

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr

The reality is that subsequent children generally get less in support as the first group. That IS the way of the world. When the first group ages out, the, MAYBE, there is an increase for subsequent children.

I live for many YEARS with an order of $50/ month cuz dad had a first commitment. And that was for multiple children. It was up to ME to support those children. Only when those children aged out AND dad finished paying that set of arrearages did I finally see a reasonable amount.

That is what happens in the LEGAL world.

FYI - if dad is working all those hours, then when he goes in for a modification - guess what? It is possible for the FIRST order to go up.

Well this case is probably not the same as yours. Was the father paying an order on the previous children that was ordered NOT based on his actual income? If not then this is not the same. I said earlier, I'm ok with getting less than what the first child gets when the time comes when I need it, that is how it works.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by jul0317

What happens when the matter came about AFTER you had the child? Walk away? Give up cause that's just how the world works???

Your child is four months old. The other child is four years old.

So...I'm confused as all heck here.

Was he paying the entire time? How does the timeline work?

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Your child is four months old. The other child is four years old.

So...I'm confused as all heck here.

Was he paying the entire time? How does the timeline work?

She never set up child support until I got pregnant. She had to set up child support so she would qualify for ADC or welfare or whatever it's called now. I guess you have to have record of child support before you get that. So I guess once she found out I was pregnant she got nervous that he would stop helping her out and filed.

YES, he did pay her before child support was set up. Suprised? Any amount of $ or anything she asked for she got. When we started dating I went to pick up his daughter and she talked him up saying what a great dad he is how much he helps out and everything and that she was so lucky to have him b/c her other kids dad didn't do anything; worked under the table so he didn't have to help raise the kid. Yeah, some dads/moms are pretty screwed up, some aren't.

So anyways..... What if your husband was paying 4x the amount he is paying now all because he stupidly didnt submit the paperwork on time? Would you try to find a way to get the order modified so your child could have what he/she needs?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by jul0317

She never set up child support until I got pregnant. She had to set up child support so she would qualify for ADC or welfare or whatever it's called now. I guess you have to have record of child support before you get that. So I guess once she found out I was pregnant she got nervous that he would stop helping her out and filed.

doesn't matter WHY. he is legally required to support his child.

if she qualified for ADC, then the STATE filed for child support.

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

doesn't matter WHY. he is legally required to support his child.

if she qualified for ADC, then the STATE filed for child support.

If it doesn't matter why then why are you responding? I was answering a question someone else asked. And thats what she said so ask her I guess...

[jul0317]

I found something on this website extremely shocking! I thought I'd look at other replies on different threads to see if some of the people who replied to mine were really always judgemental and didn't really give legal advice... Guess what! Basically every single thread I looked at with you guys' replies it was actually positive, helpful comments! Someone actually said 'thanks for being so helpful and not judgemental'! And a lot of the questions and situations other people had were easy to prejudge and look down on them for things like not paying child support, etc. So what is it with my question? Just don't like the fact that I'm standing up for my ex and my kid's well being? I should have talked bad about him and maybe I would have gotten few more positive and helpful responses I guess. Are you guys in law school or something trying to practice before you get out there or what are you doing here? If you are atty's or in school or something, I really hope you don't treat your REAL clients like this. No one will want to hire you!

Thanks to those of you who gave me some sound advice, although very few did so, it is much appreciated!!!

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by jul0317

I found something on this website extremely shocking! I thought I'd look at other replies on different threads to see if some of the people who replied to mine were really always judgemental and didn't really give legal advice... Guess what! Basically every single thread I looked at with you guys' replies it was actually positive, helpful comments! Someone actually said 'thanks for being so helpful and not judgemental'! And a lot of the questions and situations other people had were easy to prejudge and look down on them for things like not paying child support, etc. So what is it with my question? Just don't like the fact that I'm standing up for my ex and my kid's well being? I should have talked bad about him and maybe I would have gotten few more positive and helpful responses I guess. Are you guys in law school or something trying to practice before you get out there or what are you doing here? If you are atty's or in school or something, I really hope you don't treat your REAL clients like this. No one will want to hire you!

Thanks to those of you who gave me some sound advice, although very few did so, it is much appreciated!!!

Have fun with that!

[mmmagique]

Originally Posted by jul0317

I found something on this website extremely shocking! I thought I'd look at other replies on different threads to see if some of the people who replied to mine were really always judgemental and didn't really give legal advice... Guess what! Basically every single thread I looked at with you guys' replies it was actually positive, helpful comments! Someone actually said 'thanks for being so helpful and not judgemental'! And a lot of the questions and situations other people had were easy to prejudge and look down on them for things like not paying child support, etc. So what is it with my question? Just don't like the fact that I'm standing up for my ex and my kid's well being? I should have talked bad about him and maybe I would have gotten few more positive and helpful responses I guess. Are you guys in law school or something trying to practice before you get out there or what are you doing here? If you are atty's or in school or something, I really hope you don't treat your REAL clients like this. No one will want to hire you!

Thanks to those of you who gave me some sound advice, although very few did so, it is much appreciated!!!

The reason people are arguing with you dear is because you are not listening to what is being said to you. You only want to hear what you want to hear.

You were also argumentative on another board with someone who gave you "actual legal advice". Which is kind of weird, 'cause then you came here and quoted it...odd...

You will find that when you step back, and look at the big picture, and see things from an over-all point of view, rather than the one you walked in here with, that people will be much more helpful, and even forgiving, of one's misconceptions.

Honestly this doesn't matter though. If this were important to THE GUY you're posting about, HE would have thoroughly checked into this matter (free consultations are a dime a dozen...well...actually free!) and done whatever he could to rectify this "injustice".

I suggest you just love your baby, file for child support, and have it reviewed as often as your state allows.

[Cainlord]

The one thing I don't understand is this. If I recall correctly, In my situation I had to actually be served in person with the papers to confirm that I received them, same thing I have to do when I send anything legal to the CP. It was required by the state I believe.

Do other states not require a confirmed form of delivery?

Anyway, best bet may be for your friend now to contact a lawyer and hope for a sympathetic judge.

Another option you could do is just file for child support, and the amount the take from him, give it back to him. At least that way you have the order on file just in case you guys stop being friends, and you control how much you want to help.

And if he finds that he is having trouble finding steady work, maybe recommend him looking into the military, in particular the Air Force if he is wanting more educational opportunities while serving.

[Newlydivmomto4]

Okay, sorry but I had to do the math.

So Nebraska's minimum wage is $7.25/ hour. Monthly that would be $1256.66 if he was working 40 hours per week. If they imputed him at minimum wage as well as her, then he would be paying about 340/month. Add onto that any arrears and childcare and wow, its probably oh maybe 450?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Cainlord

The one thing I don't understand is this. If I recall correctly, In my situation I had to actually be served in person with the papers to confirm that I received them, same thing I have to do when I send anything legal to the CP. It was required by the state I believe.

Do other states not require a confirmed form of delivery?

There is more than one way to serve someone - even publication is acceptable if other avenues have been exhausted.

(iow, no, you don't necessarily need to be served in person in order to satisfy "proof of service" requirements)

[jul0317]

Originally Posted by Cainlord

The one thing I don't understand is this. If I recall correctly, In my situation I had to actually be served in person with the papers to confirm that I received them, same thing I have to do when I send anything legal to the CP. It was required by the state I believe.

Do other states not require a confirmed form of delivery?

Anyway, best bet may be for your friend now to contact a lawyer and hope for a sympathetic judge.

Another option you could do is just file for child support, and the amount the take from him, give it back to him. At least that way you have the order on file just in case you guys stop being friends, and you control how much you want to help.

And if he finds that he is having trouble finding steady work, maybe recommend him looking into the military, in particular the Air Force if he is wanting more educational opportunities while serving.

Yeah, that definitely makes more sense to serve in person. That would alleviate many issues i'm sure. They have where you work so I'm guessing they could just go there. Then we wouldn't be in this situation. (Wonder how someone would go about pushing for an amendment?)

He can't afford a lawyer. I'm not sure if legal aid can assist in this or not. I'm sure he would qualify financially but I don't know. He was in the navy about 10 yrs ago. But he was a cook on the ship.

Thanks 4 the advice!!!