Father (Alaska & Military- Army)
Mother (Tennessee)
I have a 4 year old daughter with an active duty Army soldier. He has been in for 7 years (so what would his rank be??) . We had a relationship when we were younger, and ending up breaking up when he joined the military. The following year I got married to someone else because I got pregnant, though always was in love with Army guy. 2 years later Army guy and I briefly rekindled our relationship on a visit that I made to where he was stationed. I was separated, but not legally divorced. I became pregnant with Army guy's child. He offered to pay for an abortion, and privately acknowledged to me that it was his child. When I decided to keep the child, he cussed me out, would not return calls or letters, and never spoke to me for the longest time. I was devastated and my "legal" husband wanted to work things out. Knowing that the unborn child was not his, husband put his name on the birth certificate and treated child as his own. Shortly after the birth however, we separated again and have been separated ever since. Husband and I now live in separate states. The distance, cost, and legal confusion has been the sole reason that we have not yet gotten a legal divorce. A year after the baby was born, Army guy acknowledged her and apologized for the way he had acted. I never pushed him for child support, and never asked him for a dime. I always told him that he could see the child whenever he wanted. Over the 4 years that she has been alive, he has sent a total of $900 which was for various occassions, a birthday here, Xmas there, etc. He has seen her for a cumulative total of 10 hours out of the past 4 years. Anyway, for so long I was too proud to ask for help from him. I always hoped he may come around, and be a real father. But as she gets older I realize time is just slipping away, and his attitude towards all of this has been pretty apparant. Besides being too "proud", I never opened a case for child support to protect him. Afterall, he did father a child with me while I was legally married. I know that is a punishable offense in the military.
So anyway, Fast Forward to now. Enough time has passed that I feel it is okay to pursue child support. And I guess it is time for me to stop being so proud and stubborn and think of the child. As she gets older, there are more things that she needs and wants. I have opened a case here in TN. They have located him in the military and gave him 90 days to respond to a paternity request. He never responded, so I go to court in April.
I am curious as to how long it will take from that to start receiving money, and will the amount be determined on my court date?
Also, another Army friend of mine was in the same situation with a woman he had fathered a baby with 5 years earlier. He did not know the baby existed until the child support paternity request came. Long story short, she ended up getting 5 years of back support. He says it was for the BAH he could have been claiming all that time, but never did- he always claimed himself as "single" and live on base.
Can someone explain to me how that happened, and since the father of my child KNEW about the baby all that time, is this something I would be able to pursue?
Mother (Tennessee)
I have a 4 year old daughter with an active duty Army soldier. He has been in for 7 years (so what would his rank be??) . We had a relationship when we were younger, and ending up breaking up when he joined the military. The following year I got married to someone else because I got pregnant, though always was in love with Army guy. 2 years later Army guy and I briefly rekindled our relationship on a visit that I made to where he was stationed. I was separated, but not legally divorced. I became pregnant with Army guy's child. He offered to pay for an abortion, and privately acknowledged to me that it was his child. When I decided to keep the child, he cussed me out, would not return calls or letters, and never spoke to me for the longest time. I was devastated and my "legal" husband wanted to work things out. Knowing that the unborn child was not his, husband put his name on the birth certificate and treated child as his own. Shortly after the birth however, we separated again and have been separated ever since. Husband and I now live in separate states. The distance, cost, and legal confusion has been the sole reason that we have not yet gotten a legal divorce. A year after the baby was born, Army guy acknowledged her and apologized for the way he had acted. I never pushed him for child support, and never asked him for a dime. I always told him that he could see the child whenever he wanted. Over the 4 years that she has been alive, he has sent a total of $900 which was for various occassions, a birthday here, Xmas there, etc. He has seen her for a cumulative total of 10 hours out of the past 4 years. Anyway, for so long I was too proud to ask for help from him. I always hoped he may come around, and be a real father. But as she gets older I realize time is just slipping away, and his attitude towards all of this has been pretty apparant. Besides being too "proud", I never opened a case for child support to protect him. Afterall, he did father a child with me while I was legally married. I know that is a punishable offense in the military.
So anyway, Fast Forward to now. Enough time has passed that I feel it is okay to pursue child support. And I guess it is time for me to stop being so proud and stubborn and think of the child. As she gets older, there are more things that she needs and wants. I have opened a case here in TN. They have located him in the military and gave him 90 days to respond to a paternity request. He never responded, so I go to court in April.
I am curious as to how long it will take from that to start receiving money, and will the amount be determined on my court date?
Also, another Army friend of mine was in the same situation with a woman he had fathered a baby with 5 years earlier. He did not know the baby existed until the child support paternity request came. Long story short, she ended up getting 5 years of back support. He says it was for the BAH he could have been claiming all that time, but never did- he always claimed himself as "single" and live on base.
Can someone explain to me how that happened, and since the father of my child KNEW about the baby all that time, is this something I would be able to pursue?