nine years ago I never sought child support...HELP

[destny]

What is the name of your state?PA

Hello. I'm trying to follow different lines of reasoning concerning having my exboyfriend's parental rights terminated(hoping he will jump at the opportunity to sign off if this line of thought pans out). My daughter is ten. Was born in Canada. Moved to AZ and then PA where we now reside, when she was about two. My ex hasn't called, sent a card, seen her, in over seven years(hasn't seen her in nine). My question is this; I didn't seek child support, although I was briefly on Government aid for less than a year and I believe they tried to but nothing came of it. If he seeks partial custody, or refuses to allow my husband(her step-father) to adopt her and voluntarily terminate his parental rights, can I go to court and have him pay support for all these years he never helped out? (I really don't want the money, silly as this sounds. I want him to leave us alone and I'm hoping a large sum will scare him into turning tail and running). I would still allow him to have a relationship with her via email and phone, and when she's ready they could meet in person, etc. I have told him this. Can anyone tell me if this line of thought is realistic/possible, or is it something I should forget about and find another avenue to pursue? I was hoping this could be used to...coax him into energetically terminate his parental rights. Thankyou.

 

[stealth2]

Generally support is only ordered back to the date of filing.

 

[DOS2005]

Reply to Destny

What is the name of your state?PA

Hello. I'm trying to follow different lines of reasoning concerning having my exboyfriend's parental rights terminated(hoping he will jump at the opportunity to sign off if this line of thought pans out). My daughter is ten. Was born in Canada. Moved to AZ and then PA where we now reside, when she was about two. My ex hasn't called, sent a card, seen her, in over seven years(hasn't seen her in nine). My question is this; I didn't seek child support, although I was briefly on Government aid for less than a year and I believe they tried to but nothing came of it. If he seeks partial custody, or refuses to allow my husband(her step-father) to adopt her and voluntarily terminate his parental rights, can I go to court and have him pay support for all these years he never helped out? (I really don't want the money, silly as this sounds. I want him to leave us alone and I'm hoping a large sum will scare him into turning tail and running). I would still allow him to have a relationship with her via email and phone, and when she's ready they could meet in person, etc. I have told him this. Can anyone tell me if this line of thought is realistic/possible, or is it something I should forget about and find another avenue to pursue? I was hoping this could be used to...coax him into energetically terminate his parental rights. Thankyou.

I don't think you can try to get back 9 years of support that was never ordered by the courts. It was up to you to try to get it from the beginning and YOU chose not to go after him and if you have moved around some as it sounds it seems you would be the one in the wrong for taking the child out of state anyway. I am not sure what the rules are for termination of parental rights.. Why don't you find him and ask him to straight out for his signature. Seems if he hasn't been around that long either he doesn't care, couldn't find you or something is wrong with him.

 

[stealth2]

Of course, if you were on state aid, the state would go after him.

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

Whoa Whoa Whoa

Hello. I'm trying to follow different lines of reasoning concerning having my exboyfriend's parental rights terminated(hoping he will jump at the opportunity to sign off if this line of thought pans out). My daughter is ten. Was born in Canada. Moved to AZ and then PA where we now reside, when she was about two. My ex hasn't called, sent a card, seen her, in over seven years(hasn't seen her in nine). My question is this; I didn't seek child support, although I was briefly on Government aid for less than a year and I believe they tried to but nothing came of it. If he seeks partial custody, or refuses to allow my husband(her step-father) to adopt her and voluntarily terminate his parental rights, can I go to court and have him pay support for all these years he never helped out? (I really don't want the money, silly as this sounds. I want him to leave us alone and I'm hoping a large sum will scare him into turning tail and running). I would still allow him to have a relationship with her via email and phone, and when she's ready they could meet in person, etc. I have told him this. Can anyone tell me if this line of thought is realistic/possible, or is it something I should forget about and find another avenue to pursue? I was hoping this could be used to...coax him into energetically terminate his parental rights

Hold on here, OP. Make up your mind. You want your ex to be part of this kid's life or you don't.

You can't dabble in a little bit of this and that & pick and choose the rules. This is NOT about you!

If you want him to give up his parental rights and he does -- then he's gone! Once that's done, you can't go back (and neither can he). How is that fair that you want him to give up his rights, but then allow him to email, etc?? Where's the common sense in THAT?!

Hold on: have you even officially established DNA, since you two were never married? It sounds like you haven't. Well, your ex boyfriend doesn't have to call -- or visit -- or write -- or even think about you or your (alleged) child with him. If you did establish paternity, then I would think CSEA would already have support proceedings underway.

Did the agency issuing you state aid ask you for him regarding the biodad? It's up to YOU to give them information they need. Like Stealth mentioned, it IS possible the state could go after him for the cost, but you'd have to check with the local CSEA and they can tell you what the state usually does (wouldn't depend on the type of aid you got as well). Oh wait, you haven't even gone through CSEA.

You need to make up your mind:
You can present the situation to your ex-boyfriend and explain to him that you husband wants to adopt him. Your ex also has every right to refuse. IF he does, then you can go to your local CSEA to establish paternity and support proceedings will begin. This also officially opens the door for your EX to file for visitation or even custody if he chooses. Also, most CSEA's don't deal with child support from the past. You would have to do that separately via an attorney. Even then that is not a guarantee.

You really need to sit down with your hubby and this ex-boyfriend and talk this out. Either the ex is out completely or part of it.