No Existing Support Order

[midwestrn_belle]

What is the name of your state? ILLINOIS

TWO QUESTIONS....

1. Will subsequent children (from current marriage) be considered in child support obligation since there is no existing support order?

DH and Bio-Mom were never married. This is DH and my first marriage. We sent in the papers before we got married to get child support for DD started, but Bio-Mom never complied. She has since remarrried, and her husband told my husband that when she gets the papers from Support Enforcement, she tears them up and discards them. They closed the case b/c she hasn't complied or showed up for any appointments. We really don't want to have to pay a lawyer, in order to start making support payments. ;-)

2. Will DH be liable for retroactive support?

Thank you in advance for your answers. Suggestions will also be much appreciated.

 

[Zephyr]

sounds to me like mom doesn't want support.....how often does dad see the kid?


and because mom has not complied with setting up support I think she will loose any standing she may have had to get retro support**************has legal paternity been established?

 

[midwestrn_belle]

She likes to control visitation...

He sees his daughter whenever Bio-Mom (BM) says he can. When he asks for visitation (BTW no visitation/custody order in place either), she thinks about it, usually says no, then makes a counteroffer for a time that is convenient for her. She then proceeds to call DD every night, which causes her to cry, be sad and subdued for the rest of the visit. Most of the time she gives us is when DH has to work. So in reality, it's mostly me that gets "visitation".

 

[Zephyr]

He sees his daughter whenever Bio-Mom (BM) says he can. When he asks for visitation (BTW no visitation/custody order in place either), she thinks about it, usually says no, then makes a counteroffer for a time that is convenient for her. She then proceeds to call DD every night, which causes her to cry, be sad and subdued for the rest of the visit. Most of the time she gives us is when DH has to work. So in reality, it's mostly me that gets "visitation".

dad should definitely file to establishe custody and parenting time

 

[midwestrn_belle]

sounds to me like mom doesn't want support.....how often does dad see the kid? and because mom has not complied with setting up support I think she will loose any standing she may have had to get retro support**************has legal paternity been established?

Why would a sane person not want child support? She isn't independentaly wealthy or anything. DH & I both have a child from a previous relationship, only I have a CS order for my DD. I was shocked when DH informed me that he didn't have one, and persuaded him to send in the papers before we were married (over 3 years ago). I even helped him fill them out. I believe that every child has the right to be taken care of.

We always make sure to get health insurance and make her beneficiary on life insurance, but I know that isn't enough. I always remind husband about holidays, birthdays, trips, shool registration and supplies....

By the same token, we have two children from the marriage, and I don't want them to suffer just b/c Bio-Mom might on day decide to accept support that doesn't take our sons into consideration. I wanted to know if the courts would. I'm always hearing about the first family doctrine and frankly it scares the crap out of me.

 

[midwestrn_belle]

Yes, he should....

But the money isn't there, so I'm looking for some pro bono help for him. I know that as a stepparent I have no legal standing. I heard that some cases can cost upwards of tens of thousands of dollars which we don't have to spare right now. Thanks for your replies. I've always felt like this situation is ridiculous. It makes me feel ridiculous by association.

 

[Zigner]

Why would a sane person not want child support?

Perhaps she feels that the child is her responsiblity and understands that the bio-dad has a new family with new obligations...
How much money has bio-dad sent? Why would a sane person NOT send money to support his child? I think you chose your words poorly.

 

[midwestrn_belle]

I never said he doesn't give her money...

I said there was no support order, which is something else entirely. When we first got married, she told me she would take all of his money and mine too. Somehow, that doesn't track as benevolent... ;-)

She doesn't let my husband see his daughter regularly, either. Perhaps for her control trumps child support. I don't know. However, I'm still concerned.

 

[Zephyr]

But the money isn't there, so I'm looking for some pro bono help for him. I know that as a stepparent I have no legal standing. I heard that some cases can cost upwards of tens of thousands of dollars which we don't have to spare right now. Thanks for your replies. I've always felt like this situation is ridiculous. It makes me feel ridiculous by association.

it should not cost tens of thousands just to get parenting time, that he could do without a lawyer