non-father paying child support?

[DaisyParkers]

A friend of mine who is paying child support to his ex-wife recently told me that the child is not in fact his, but is the product of his wife's affair with another man. This did not come up at the divorce trial, although his wife's infidelity did. However, my friend has been paying child support to this woman for the past four years. He said that he was told that because he is the closest thing to a father that the child has, he still has to pay child support, even though the child does not belong to him. I've been trying to research whether or not this is true, since it seems pretty unreasonable to me, but I can't find anything addressing this particular issue.
The divorce occured in New York, and the ex-wife and child now live in New Jersey. My friend does not, unfortunately, have the money to see a lawyer unless he is certain that he's got a case for not having to pay child support anymore.

 

[OhReally?]

A friend of mine who is paying child support to his ex-wife recently told me that the child is not in fact his, but is the product of his wife's affair with another man. This did not come up at the divorce trial, although his wife's infidelity did. However, my friend has been paying child support to this woman for the past four years. He said that he was told that because he is the closest thing to a father that the child has, he still has to pay child support, even though the child does not belong to him. I've been trying to research whether or not this is true, since it seems pretty unreasonable to me, but I can't find anything addressing this particular issue.
The divorce occured in New York, and the ex-wife and child now live in New Jersey. My friend does not, unfortunately, have the money to see a lawyer unless he is certain that he's got a case for not having to pay child support anymore.

Uh...your friend does NOT have a case. The saying "you snooze, you lose" applies to your friend.

 

[DaisyParkers]

Well, he didn't find out until recently that he's infertile as a result surgery that he had before the child was born, so until recently, he thought the kid was his. I suppose that doesn't make a difference, though.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, he didn't find out until recently that he's infertile as a result surgery that he had before the child was born, so until recently, he thought the kid was his. I suppose that doesn't make a difference, though.

That's not legal proof that the child is not his. Its also not 100% proof that the child is not his. A low sperm count, even a very low one, might make it almost impossible to concieve a child, but not necessarily totally impossible.

 

[Just Blue]

Well, he didn't find out until recently that he's infertile as a result surgery that he had before the child was born, so until recently, he thought the kid was his. I suppose that doesn't make a difference, though.

Well...considering her infidelity came up during the divorce and he didn't request a DNA AT THAT TIME to assure himself that the child was really his...yeah...it really doesn't make a difference. The divorce was the time to take care of this. He didn't. As another member said "You snooze you lose".

 

[DaisyParkers]

Figures. Well thanks everyone for your speedy answers. This whole mess happened long before I met the guy, and the more he tells me about it the more it sounds like he handled it very poorly. Ah well.

 

[Ohiogal]

A friend of mine who is paying child support to his ex-wife recently told me that the child is not in fact his, but is the product of his wife's affair with another man. This did not come up at the divorce trial, although his wife's infidelity did. However, my friend has been paying child support to this woman for the past four years. He said that he was told that because he is the closest thing to a father that the child has, he still has to pay child support, even though the child does not belong to him. I've been trying to research whether or not this is true, since it seems pretty unreasonable to me, but I can't find anything addressing this particular issue.
The divorce occured in New York, and the ex-wife and child now live in New Jersey. My friend does not, unfortunately, have the money to see a lawyer unless he is certain that he's got a case for not having to pay child support anymore.

Sorry but you are completely wrong. HE is the LEGAL father of this child. End of story.

 

[Silverplum]

MYOB.
The furthest YOU can go with this is to give your friend the URL of this site to ask his own questions about his own case. You cannot possibly know enough of the pertinent details to get valid answers...for a question that does not concern you.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Nice that he's been "Dad" for 4+ years, and now is ready to change that for CS purposes...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Why is it that I suspect that a new 'love' is causing dissent in the ranks?

 

[Silverplum]

Nice that he's been "Dad" for 4+ years, and now is ready to change that for CS purposes...

I'm not sure about that, PSDMD...note exactly who's here asking questions.

 

[2Mistakes]

Why is it that I suspect that a new 'love' is causing dissent in the ranks?

And why is that I suspect that maybe the OP here is the aforementioned new 'love'?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I'm not sure about that, PSDMD...note exactly who's here asking questions.

True enough....*%&$ #&%*# women....(jk)

Whichever one wants it, the other one should run the other way...

 

[DaisyParkers]

Hm, I had assumed that everyone would assume that I was in fact the "friend" with the child support issues. I suppose, however, that that would have been better than assuming that I'm the new flame with a grudge against the ex and her kid. But I spoke the truth, and he really is just a friend of mine with a habit of complaining frequently about his ex-wife. I'm sure you don't begrudge me the right to do a small amount of outside research on the subject, so at least the next time he brings it up, I can tell him that the time for complaining has long passed.
And I certainly never would have encouraged him to stop paying child support for a kid that saw him as a father, but, as the ex-wife has not allowed him to see the child for the past three years, it seemed reasonable for him to want to sever the connections with them both.
Again, thank you everyone for the legal advice; my curiosity on the subject is now satisfied. You may continue to speculate on my relationship to the friend in question and my motives for taking an interest in his child support issues as much as you like; however, I can assure you that they're far less interesting than you have so far imagined.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If you are going to have a chit-chat with him, then he has a right to the parenting time that is set forth in a court order. If the CP is not complying, then he has a right to file a Show Cause for Contempt on the order.