is this normal?

[Cindergretta]

What is the name of your state? GEORGIA

ok so i have temp. custody with the STBX having supervised visits. i just found out that my lawyer is "buddies" with STBX's lawyer. my lawyer said that they make everyone settle because they don't argue with against each other. the heat is on and my lawyer is really trying to PUSH me to settle and not really acknowledging my requests. he would like to get it settled before he moves to his new office, how convienant? anyway, should i go ahead and get a new lawyer? i feel like this dude is ready to sell my children and i down the river, so that he doesn't have to argue with his friend. since this is my first divorce and hopefully only my first, i didn't know if this was to be expected or what?

also, is it so unusual to ask for college and private schools to be paid for, when STBX can more than enough pay for it and then some? thanks.

 

[Phnx02]

What is the name of your state? GEORGIA

ok so i have temp. custody with the STBX having supervised visits. i just found out that my lawyer is "buddies" with STBX's lawyer. my lawyer said that they make everyone settle because they don't argue with against each other. the heat is on and my lawyer is really trying to PUSH me to settle and not really acknowledging my requests. he would like to get it settled before he moves to his new office, how convienant? anyway, should i go ahead and get a new lawyer? i feel like this dude is ready to sell my children and i down the river, so that he doesn't have to argue with his friend. since this is my first divorce and hopefully only my first, i didn't know if this was to be expected or what?

also, is it so unusual to ask for college and private schools to be paid for, when STBX can more than enough pay for it and then some? thanks.

It is not uncommon for lawyers practicing in the same county/city to know each other. In fact, often times when attorneys DON't know each other personally, they will still talk to each other like they're best of friends! Counterparts, but commrads practicing the same line of work. Can be unnerving at times, especially if you and the ex are butting heads with each other. And just like any case, attorneys try to settle....come to an agreement without going to court because it saves everyone involved more time and money by doing so. However, as a paid client, your attorney should be working for you and only you and what's in you & your children's best interest. You should not feel pressured to agree to something you don't want to just to uphold your attorney's working relationship with his counterpart. If you want to settle/agree for other reasons, then this is completely different, and only something you can decide.

If your ex can afford college and private school expenses, then you should probably ask for it now. It may be harder to come back later to ask for these things.

 

[VeronicaGia]

And expect your ex to insist that you be responsible for 1/2 of those college costs too. After all, he is not solely responsible for the support of the child you created together.

Be sure YOU can afford the tuition bill.

 

[stealth2]

Also, unless the child is already attending private school, tuition will likely not be ordered if the other parent objects.

 

[nextwife]

There are also some people who are just philosophically opposed to private school, if a decent education is available in public school. My husband and I both feel VERY strongly about our child being in public school. As a matter of fact, NOT all people who "can afford it and then some" choose to pay for private school.

My daughter has a close friend in her public school whose family is rather wealthy, (and famous). They are selling their current home for about 2 million and buying bigger. And they very specifically chose to have their child NOT attend a private school because they wanted their child to know people from lots of backgrounds. A parent should not be forced to use private school. It's one thing to arrange for a child to continue the school they have been in, it's another entirely to force a parent to pay for private school if the child has not been in one. Having money available does not mean a person should be forced to abandon having their child in public school.

 

[LdiJ]

There are also some people who are just philosophically opposed to private school, if a decent education is available in public school. My husband and I both feel VERY strongly about our child being in public school. As a matter of fact, NOT all people who "can afford it and then some" choose to pay for private school.

My daughter has a close friend in her public school whose family is rather wealthy, (and famous). They are selling their current home for about 2 million and buying bigger. And they very specifically chose to have their child NOT attend a private school because they wanted their child to know people from lots of backgrounds. A parent should not be forced to use private school. It's one thing to arrange for a child to continue the school they have been in, it's another entirely to force a parent to pay for private school if the child has not been in one. Having money available does not mean a person should be forced to abandon having their child in public school.

While I agree....there are some parts of the country where the schools are bad enough that anyone who can find a way to swing it pays for private school. My sister lives in one of those areas. I thought my sister was crazy for strapping their family cash-wise for private school until I understood the problem in their area.

 

[stealth2]

While I agree....there are some parts of the country where the schools are bad enough that anyone who can find a way to swing it pays for private school. My sister lives in one of those areas. I thought my sister was crazy for strapping their family cash-wise for private school until I understood the problem in their area.

Yes, but it is likely that this is something the parents would have to agree on. If the child is currently in public school (or not in school yet), a court is unlikely to order private school tuition unless there is a compelling reason.

 

[Cindergretta]

both of my children are already attending a private Christian Montessorri School that goes through Kindergarten and there is a private Christian School that is like a continuation of the current school that most of the children go to when they start 1st grade. i am interested in the school being Christian first and then private. if it was just a Prep school then in my eyes it wouldn't be much different than attending a really good public school. its the ability to get an education in a Christian setting that is important to me.

 

[stealth2]

And does your stbx share that preference? 'Cause attending a preschool isn't the same as a private school and you may find you have a fight on your hands.

 

[nextwife]

And does your stbx share that preference? 'Cause attending a preschool isn't the same as a private school and you may find you have a fight on your hands.

That is sure true, as virtually all preschools ARE private. Many of my kiddos classmates went to Montessori preschools and are now in public school.

If STBX does NOT agree, I'm not certain you will see any judge FORCING a NCP to pay for a religious education.

 

[Cindergretta]

in my area, most preschool is public state funded preschool...at all public daycares and public schools, preschool is *free*, unless there is before and after care required then there is a fee. only in the private and/or prep schools do you have to pay for preschool in my area. but i have already found out that he isn't required by our state law to pay for anything other than the child support, which will be about $1500.00 a month so i plan on using that for my children's education since it is important to me. i can basically count on him not paying for anything except child support.

 

[nextwife]

School here starts at K4. The kindergartens (K4 and K5) are part of the school system, but Preschool is all private.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Uhmmm....

Georgia doesn't require the parent to provide post-secondary education expenses. CS ends at 18, unless the child is still in high school, then it can continue up to age 20 (IF they haven't graduated high school by then).

But, college is only ordered if both parties agree to it.

 

[MtnMoon]

What is the name of your state? GEORGIA

ok so i have temp. custody with the STBX having supervised visits. i just found out that my lawyer is "buddies" with STBX's lawyer. my lawyer said that they make everyone settle because they don't argue with against each other. the heat is on and my lawyer is really trying to PUSH me to settle and not really acknowledging my requests. he would like to get it settled before he moves to his new office, how convienant? anyway, should i go ahead and get a new lawyer? i feel like this dude is ready to sell my children and i down the river, so that he doesn't have to argue with his friend. since this is my first divorce and hopefully only my first, i didn't know if this was to be expected or what?

also, is it so unusual to ask for college and private schools to be paid for, when STBX can more than enough pay for it and then some? thanks.

If you don't feel your lawyer is acting in the best interest of you and your children...then it might be time to consider getting a new lawyer. With regard to educational costs...there's no harm to bringing that up and having it settled now. It may be much more difficult to get a modification to add those costs later on, so pursue the matter now. And...be ready to let the judge know that you're willing to contribute to college costs as well...so it doesn't seem as if you're trying to put it all off onto your STBX...unless your STBX is willing to take on the full financial responsibility. As you may see in other posts...this issue of paying for college costs is a heated one...