Paternity 8+ years later

[mrssmith51]

Indiana
8 + years ago my then fiancée had an affair with someone. She became pregnant although it was unclear if the father was her fiancée or mine. After the birth of her child she and her fiancée got married and he assumed responsibility for the child and signed the paternity affidavit. My fiancée and I ended up getting married 4 years ago. She contacts him about twice a year and tried to follow him and I on Facebook. We continually block her and her numerous cell phone numbers. Apparently she is now "about to go through a divorce" and wants a paternity strictly for her peace of mind. Then she says that she will come after child support. Then she says she wants to keep it out of the courts. She has lied numerous times in the past saying she had a test done from a toothbrush. Then it was a strand of hair. First is was positive that her husband was the dad. Then it was inconclusive. And now her story is the test was never done. We have repeatedly told her either have a paternity test or leave us alone. She continued to refuse because she didn't want her husband to know. Now the story is that he has known all along. We need to know if he (her husband) signed that paternity affidavit assuming legal responsibility for the child why does she need a paternity test from my husband? I've tried talking to her but she turns it into a pity party and wants to rehash the past. Her husband won't be able to prove fraud since I have texts where she states she has told him and he chose to ignore it. I also have texts that she says his family even knows. So can she come after my husband? I feel like this is all a ploy for his attention like it has always been and in her delusional mind she thinks he will want to be with her. Does her husband have to sign away rights in order for my husband to be responsible for the child?

 

[Just Blue]

Indiana
8 + years ago my then fiancée had an affair with someone. She became pregnant although it was unclear if the father was her fiancée or mine. After the birth of her child she and her fiancée got married and he assumed responsibility for the child and signed the paternity affidavit. My fiancée and I ended up getting married 4 years ago. She contacts him about twice a year and tried to follow him and I on Facebook. We continually block her and her numerous cell phone numbers. Apparently she is now "about to go through a divorce" and wants a paternity strictly for her peace of mind. Then she says that she will come after child support. Then she says she wants to keep it out of the courts. She has lied numerous times in the past saying she had a test done from a toothbrush. Then it was a strand of hair. First is was positive that her husband was the dad. Then it was inconclusive. And now her story is the test was never done. We have repeatedly told her either have a paternity test or leave us alone. She continued to refuse because she didn't want her husband to know. Now the story is that he has known all along. We need to know if he (her husband) signed that paternity affidavit assuming legal responsibility for the child why does she need a paternity test from my husband? I've tried talking to her but she turns it into a pity party and wants to rehash the past. Her husband won't be able to prove fraud since I have texts where she states she has told him and he chose to ignore it. I also have texts that she says his family even knows. So can she come after my husband? I feel like this is all a ploy for his attention like it has always been and in her delusional mind she thinks he will want to be with her. Does her husband have to sign away rights in order for my husband to be responsible for the child?

Honestly Mrs. Smith...This LEGALLY is none of your business.


But I doubt any court would allow a disestablishment of paternity without your hubby seeking it...and perhaps not even then.

 

[mrssmith51]

Thank you

Unfortunately she made it my business by sending multiple messages to my husband threatening to come after back child support and demanding he take a DNA test and that the court was allowing her to contact him first. In theory I would love for this to not be an issue. I just want to know what could happen in ordered to protect my family and my children from this mess. I would like to ignore it but don't want to be surprised by a summons someday.

 

[Zigner]

Unfortunately she made it my business by sending multiple messages to my husband threatening to come after back child support and demanding he take a DNA test and that the court was allowing her to contact him first.

What makes you think that this somehow makes it your legal business? Don't worry, it's a rhetorical question. YOU have no dog in this fight, no monkeys in this circus, no cards in this hand, no leaves on this tree, etc.

 

[mrssmith51]

...

So basically because this is aimed at my husband I cannot even ask a question? What is this site for then if legal questions aren't allowed? I may not be the one in court but I want to know the possibilities. This affects me as well even though I am not the one who will be summoned to court. All I was trying to do was find out what could happen or if there's any reason to respond to her or to see if my husband should file for a DNA test on his own.

 

[commentator]

You can continue to block her, avoid her calls, delete her text messages (which you really need to do, as they are worthless in this deal in any case!) But you cannot avoid the fact that there is a chance that her child was fathered by your husband. There's nothing you can do to 'protect' anyone from the eventuality that she might someday demand child support from your husband, if he is determined to be the biological father of this child. And you are far out of line in trying to determine from information she provides you whether her husband has claimed responsibility for this child or not, or whether he is in fact the biological father.

Meantime, you can protect your family from a world of hurt and anguish and to-do by simply stopping all contact and focus on this issue. You begin by telling your husband that if it happens, HE will be the one who has to deal with it. And you need to end any and all contact with this woman. Block and ignore.

If it were to become a child support issue, do not think for one moment that the courts would give a hoot what she said, who she said was the daddy, texts and Facebook posting she has made, whether her husband "knew" or whether her whole family knows or what they know or when they know it. You disengage here. Let things fall where they might.

 

[Silverplum]

So basically because this is aimed at my husband I cannot even ask a question? What is this site for then if legal questions aren't allowed? I may not be the one in court but I want to know the possibilities. This affects me as well even though I am not the one who will be summoned to court. All I was trying to do was find out what could happen or if there's any reason to respond to her or to see if my husband should file for a DNA test on his own.

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/indiana/disproving-paternity-in-indiana/

That's just for info, and not a referral or recommendation.

It's still not your legal business.

 

[commentator]

This is great information, silverplum. And it makes all this sudden burst of attention and information on the mom's part a little easier to understand. So they're getting divorced and trying to get a custody/child support arrangement established, and her husband wants to bring up that he may not exactly be 100% sure he is the little one's daddy. There will be some churning going on, which may result in a DNA test that will determine whether your husband needs to worry about future child support.

But once again, you need to stay away. I suspect that maybe she is trying to keep your husband in the loop until they find out for sure who is the father, but make her do this through him, if she can, not through contacting you and feeding you information that is worrying to you. She is obviously trying to make you crazy and relive the glory days when she scored with both her fiancé and yours. And I repeat, what she says in these texts or messages are worthless. Don't let her take up space in your head, as there is nothing you can do but wait and see what happens.

 

[mrssmith51]

Thank you

Thank you for the information. It is a tricky subject. And I agree that most of this is her way of putting stress on our marriage as she only pops out when we have a life event-we recently had another child. I will stay away from her and have my husband contact a lawyer.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for the information. It is a tricky subject. And I agree that most of this is her way of putting stress on our marriage as she only pops out when we have a life event-we recently had another child. I will stay away from her and have my husband contact a lawyer.

Your husband doesn't need to contact a lawyer unless he is actually served for a paternity case. That will not happen unless her husband is able to legally disestablish his paternity as part of their divorce case. Its actually highly unlikely that he will be allowed to do so. He chose to sign the affidavit of paternity when the child was born, rather than getting a DNA test then. They were not married when the child was born, so this was not a situation where he was automatically the legal father as a person married to the mother. This is a case where he CHOSE to legally become the father.

What I suspect is going on is that the mother of the child actually wants to rid not only herself of her husband, but wants him out of her child's life as well. Therefore she is hoping to convince your husband to do a DNA test, hoping to prove him the father and push him into establishing paternity...because the bottom line is that your husband is probably the only person who could actually initiate a paternity challenge at this point.

 

[Just Blue]

So basically because this is aimed at my husband I cannot even ask a question? What is this site for then if legal questions aren't allowed? I may not be the one in court but I want to know the possibilities. This affects me as well even though I am not the one who will be summoned to court. All I was trying to do was find out what could happen or if there's any reason to respond to her or to see if my husband should file for a DNA test on his own.

No. But you should ask the LEGAL party, your husband, to join and ask for himself.


We ALL understand your concern...but we do prefer to deal with the legal party.


Thank You for you anticipated understanding.

Blue