Paternity in Question

[muskies133]

My Ex-Girlfriend (legally separated and divorced while we were dating) Just had a baby. She cheated on me with her ex-husband in the end of Jan or begining of Feb and the baby might not be mine (he was small indicating he may have been a month early). Durring pregnancy I found out she cheated and was telling both her ex and I each that we were the father. I can't afford a DNA test and am affraid (based on hearing stories) of losing half of my wages to support. I also cannot afford an attorny; I have too much debt as it is. She was being somewhat civil after I moved out and broke off our relationship, but her mother has been pushing me away making sure I cannot see the child. The ex-girlfriend said I could visit and was sorry that her mom didn't call me about being in labor (we were trying to be friends for the kids sake). I went to the Hospital after being told I could visit and was told by staff I couldn't visit in addition to that I recieved a nasty message from her mother to leave her alone. Other than some normal arguments and mean things being said about the lying and cheating when it was discovered there hasn't been anything out of the ordinary given the circumstances. She did and still does smoke marajuana regulary durring the entire pregnancy (she quite for a while before the pregnancy because I wanted her to) and spends about $400 a month on that junk. Why should I have to support her if her money goes to drugs? What should I do? What are my legal options, what could I be facing legally and financially?

State of OHIO...

 

[CourtClerk]

Start a paternity suit.

After that, what you'll be expecting is to support the child if it's yours and the right to decision making and visitation.

No one can tell you anything else since you declined to tell anyone the name of your state - not that it matters much because that's a round about answer to what to expect.

 

[muskies133]

Im in the State of Ohio. How do I start a suit when I cannot afford a lawyer? I don't believe its like criminal courts where they have to appoint one if you qualify. And for DNA testing I don't have anything close to the $2000 it will cost.

 

[Proserpina]

Im in the State of Ohio. How do I start a suit when I cannot afford a lawyer? I don't believe its like criminal courts where they have to appoint one if you qualify. And for DNA testing I don't have anything close to the $2000 it will cost.

Who on earth told you $2000?

If you can't afford an attorney, start reading.

You CAN do this by yourself if you're willing to educate yourself. Start reading Ohio threads on this forum (use the search function).

 

[muskies133]

$2000 (aprox.) is what the hospital charges. I am always willing to educate myself I just want to make sure I am doing it the right way.

 

[Proserpina]

$2000 (aprox.) is what the hospital charges. I am always willing to educate myself I just want to make sure I am doing it the right way.

Ignore the hospital.

You need to file a paternity action through the Ohio courts. The paternity testing won't come even close to $2k.

 

[CourtClerk]

The hospital may charge $2000. There are laboratories that will perform the test much cheaper.

 

[TheGeekess]

Of course, OP could always contact the CSEA for his state and let them get the ball rolling. If it turns out he is the father, that would give him the foot in the door to get a custody/visitation case going.

 

[mistoffolees]

Ignore the hospital.

You need to file a paternity action through the Ohio courts. The paternity testing won't come even close to $2k.

Probably a couple hundred at most. And if it's done through CSE, maybe less.

Of course, even if it WERE $2,000, that's cheaper than 18 years of child support if the child isn't his.

 

[Ohiogal]

Im in the State of Ohio. How do I start a suit when I cannot afford a lawyer? I don't believe its like criminal courts where they have to appoint one if you qualify. And for DNA testing I don't have anything close to the $2000 it will cost.

Ohio does NOT have medical marijuana. When was your adulterous lover divorced? And DNA testing won't cost you anything if you walk into CSEA and ask to open a case for paternity. My county hands out free coupons for testing for crying out loud.

 

[muskies133]

Well they don't allow medical marijuana that's my point lol. She would use the excuse it was for her Bi-polar and Fibromyalsia etc. since she had to go off her other Meds. Her not quitting along with the lying and cheating (in my eyes it was cheating even though she was separated her and I were in a exclusive relationship) is what ended our relationship. Even if we go by her excuse of "i was still technically married to him" she is still immoral, because if that's the case she cheated on him.

I actually wouldn't have found out about any of what went on and would have been continuing to assume the baby was definitely mine if it weren't for her keeping her email open and me seeing an email to him. She was trying to hide everything, even denied and said someone else must have hacked her email and sent it (even blamed her ex for emailing himself what was in the email becuase he knows how he is a computer programmer for NEC). It has been a rough couple months after figure everything out and catching more and more lies, I thought I could trust her (our families go way back 30 years+ and I have known her all 28 of my years).

She was officially divorced (it took a while) while we were dating back in the spring. I do know that if within 300 days of a divorce in Ohio the ex-husband is assumed the father unless it is questioned.

I guess my next step is to go into the CSEA office and see where that leads me. I am and have been trying to find a lawyer who might take my case pro bono and might try filing paperwork myself..

 

[Ohiogal]

Well they don't allow medical marijuana that's my point lol. She would use the excuse it was for her Bi-polar and Fibromyalsia etc. since she had to go off her other Meds.

The Ohio Supreme Court has time and again stated that marijuana is not a big deal when it comes to parenting and is NOT a reason why children should be removed from their parents.

Her not quitting along with the lying and cheating (in my eyes it was cheating even though she was separated her and I were in a exclusive relationship) is what ended our relationship.

You are a hypocrite. Why? Because YOU were one of the people with whom she was cheating. If she will do it with you then she will do it to you. That was your own fault and quite frankly, you got what you deserved.

Even if we go by her excuse of "i was still technically married to him" she is still immoral, because if that's the case she cheated on him.

Don't pull the moral card because YOU knew she was married and still didn't mind tapping her every chance you got. That means you are just as immoral as she was.

I actually wouldn't have found out about any of what went on and would have been continuing to assume the baby was definitely mine if it weren't for her keeping her email open and me seeing an email to him. She was trying to hide everything, even denied and said someone else must have hacked her email and sent it (even blamed her ex for emailing himself what was in the email becuase he knows how he is a computer programmer for NEC). It has been a rough couple months after figure everything out and catching more and more lies, I thought I could trust her (our families go way back 30 years+ and I have known her all 28 of my years).

Seriously none of it matters. NONE OF IT.

She was officially divorced (it took a while) while we were dating back in the spring. I do know that if within 300 days of a divorce in Ohio the ex-husband is assumed the father unless it is questioned.

Was she pregnant when she was divorced? Apparently, yes. Which means that the divorce should never have been finalized unless fraud was committed upon the court.

I guess my next step is to go into the CSEA office and see where that leads me. I am and have been trying to find a lawyer who might take my case pro bono and might try filing paperwork myself..

Don't count on it. Why? Because you will be more trouble than anything to represent due to the way you present yourself here -- unless your attitude changes, expect no attorney to represent you throughout an entire case pro bono.