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Paternity Test?

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txmomof2

Member
What is the name of your state? Texas.

I have a daughter who will be 15 in January. Her father and I were together in high school, never married. I filed for child support and original orders were done in April 1991.

He never requested a Paternity Test- although he was advised to do so by the Texas Atty General- since we were never married. He said he didn't need one, he knew she was his (and she is) and signed off.

Fast forward 13 years....he has married and his wife met my daughter for the first time this past summer at a family function.....my daughter does not see him on a regular basis, and the only reason she was present at the family function was a cousin on her father's side- not because HE took her. He sporadically pays child support- we have been going to quarterly hearings since he does not pay on a regular basis- where he is somehow able to come up with $400-$500 to avoid going to jail.

Well, he called before Christmas, stating that his wife is CONVINCED that this child is not his, and has convinced him that he needs to take a paternity test (dna) to prove. She has also apparently decided that when it comes back that he is NOT the father (it won't), that he will then sue me.

He said that if I DON'T agree to this, then it will be as though I'm admitting she might not be his, and he'll force me to do it, or get a default judgement.

I have no issue with this as far as proving anything- my issue is telling my 15 year old that all of a sudden her father has decided he isn't anymore- and at her age, this will be hurtful = because as much as she doesn't see him or there is no relationship- the fact that she knows him at all- and he's 'out there' is somehow comforting to her (vs. friends of hers who don't even know who their fathers are)...

Can I be forced to do this? If I refuse, then what?

Thanks
 


txmomof2 said:
What is the name of your state? Texas.

I have a daughter who will be 15 in January. Her father and I were together in high school, never married. I filed for child support and original orders were done in April 1991.

He never requested a Paternity Test- although he was advised to do so by the Texas Atty General- since we were never married. He said he didn't need one, he knew she was his (and she is) and signed off.

Fast forward 13 years....he has married and his wife met my daughter for the first time this past summer at a family function.....my daughter does not see him on a regular basis, and the only reason she was present at the family function was a cousin on her father's side- not because HE took her. He sporadically pays child support- we have been going to quarterly hearings since he does not pay on a regular basis- where he is somehow able to come up with $400-$500 to avoid going to jail.

Well, he called before Christmas, stating that his wife is CONVINCED that this child is not his, and has convinced him that he needs to take a paternity test (dna) to prove. She has also apparently decided that when it comes back that he is NOT the father (it won't), that he will then sue me.

He said that if I DON'T agree to this, then it will be as though I'm admitting she might not be his, and he'll force me to do it, or get a default judgement.

I have no issue with this as far as proving anything- my issue is telling my 15 year old that all of a sudden her father has decided he isn't anymore- and at her age, this will be hurtful = because as much as she doesn't see him or there is no relationship- the fact that she knows him at all- and he's 'out there' is somehow comforting to her (vs. friends of hers who don't even know who their fathers are)...

Can I be forced to do this? If I refuse, then what?

Thanks
If you refuse then you look like your lying. Your daughter is old enough to understand that her father is being an a$$. If you have no problems with it then let him do it, and pay for it. They will both just look really stupid. he probably is only doing it because the old lady is forcing him to. That must be a miserable life. That should be a little satisfying to you anyway :)
 

Happy Trails

Senior Member
txmomof2 said:
What is the name of your state? Texas.

I have a daughter who will be 15 in January. Her father and I were together in high school, never married. I filed for child support and original orders were done in April 1991.

He never requested a Paternity Test- although he was advised to do so by the Texas Atty General- since we were never married. He said he didn't need one, he knew she was his (and she is) and signed off.

Fast forward 13 years....he has married and his wife met my daughter for the first time this past summer at a family function.....my daughter does not see him on a regular basis, and the only reason she was present at the family function was a cousin on her father's side- not because HE took her. He sporadically pays child support- we have been going to quarterly hearings since he does not pay on a regular basis- where he is somehow able to come up with $400-$500 to avoid going to jail.

Well, he called before Christmas, stating that his wife is CONVINCED that this child is not his, and has convinced him that he needs to take a paternity test (dna) to prove. She has also apparently decided that when it comes back that he is NOT the father (it won't), that he will then sue me.

He said that if I DON'T agree to this, then it will be as though I'm admitting she might not be his, and he'll force me to do it, or get a default judgement.

I have no issue with this as far as proving anything- my issue is telling my 15 year old that all of a sudden her father has decided he isn't anymore- and at her age, this will be hurtful = because as much as she doesn't see him or there is no relationship- the fact that she knows him at all- and he's 'out there' is somehow comforting to her (vs. friends of hers who don't even know who their fathers are)...

Can I be forced to do this? If I refuse, then what?

Thanks
If you are certain he is the father and your only concern is explaining the test to your daughter, blame it on your daughter's, dad's wife. That should put an end to it. Of course they will have to pay for the test.
 

txmomof2

Member
paternity tests

Yes, I'm all for the whole- "hey, you want to spend the money on THAT- then go right ahead"- but you know what? I just don't think I should have to do it.

My thing is this- he was given opportunity- didn't take it. YEARS AND YEARS have gone by- he has never uttered a sound about her being his. Never. And now? Please.

And while I am 110% sure of her parentage- let's say I wasn't (I work at the welfare office, and have had clients go through something similar) and we took the test- and he WASN'T the father? What happens then?

this has caused quite the pro/con discussion here at the office.....some who say he has no right to dispute something after all this time.....some who say to do it to make them look ignorant......me? Take the DNA money and pay on the $14,000 arrears you owe me.
 
txmomof2 said:
Yes, I'm all for the whole- "hey, you want to spend the money on THAT- then go right ahead"- but you know what? I just don't think I should have to do it.

My thing is this- he was given opportunity- didn't take it. YEARS AND YEARS have gone by- he has never uttered a sound about her being his. Never. And now? Please.

And while I am 110% sure of her parentage- let's say I wasn't (I work at the welfare office, and have had clients go through something similar) and we took the test- and he WASN'T the father? What happens then?

this has caused quite the pro/con discussion here at the office.....some who say he has no right to dispute something after all this time.....some who say to do it to make them look ignorant......me? Take the DNA money and pay on the $14,000 arrears you owe me.
:confused: Hmmmm. Are you sure this is about the daughter and not your anger towards him, or SOMETHING else. You work at the welfare office?So did I. You would think that would give you some insight to the paternity testing. You should know what happens when a father has been paying on a child that isnt his. I think there is something deeper here.
 

Phnx02

Member
You don't have to take a paternity test unless he gets a court order for one. In the meantime, he's still obligated to pay CS according to your original order.

My sister has a 10 year old daughter from her first marriage. Dad has been paying CS since the divorce. When she asked for an increase last year, he suddenly asked for a paternity test. He knows the child is his, but she suspected his new wife is telling him to get one. Boy did they look dumb when the test confirmed he's the dad!
 

Happy Trails

Senior Member
txmomof2 said:
Yes, I'm all for the whole- "hey, you want to spend the money on THAT- then go right ahead"- but you know what? I just don't think I should have to do it.

My thing is this- he was given opportunity- didn't take it. YEARS AND YEARS have gone by- he has never uttered a sound about her being his. Never. And now? Please.

And while I am 110% sure of her parentage- let's say I wasn't (I work at the welfare office, and have had clients go through something similar) and we took the test- and he WASN'T the father? What happens then?

this has caused quite the pro/con discussion here at the office.....some who say he has no right to dispute something after all this time.....some who say to do it to make them look ignorant......me? Take the DNA money and pay on the $14,000 arrears you owe me.
After he is proven to be the father this will give you a chance to address the back child support. The Judge isn't going to be to happy with him.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Legally, he cannot contest his parentage now.

However, if there was ANY remote chance he was not the father, I hope you clearly informed him of that at the time. YOU have 100% absolute certainty the child is biologically yours. A man is entitled to be informed BEFORE being told the child is "HIS" if they may not be, so that they have the information necessary to make an INFORMED decision about the need for paternity testing. Any woman who has had more than one partner during the month window of conception owes it to the man she is having sign for paternity to make certain he has ALL the facts.

Becoming a parent to a child NOT biologically ours is, in essence, a form if adoption , and no one should "adopt" another person's child without knowing that is what they are doing. And an "adopted" child being raised by a parent not biologically theirs should always be aware that is the case -so they are not suddenly confronted with that as a new reality later in life. If a child always knows that mommy or daddy are not the mommy or daddy that "made them" they just take that for granted.
 

AHA

Senior Member
Let him take the paternity test and let him pay for it. When the results say he's the father, take him to court and get the back cs you're owed by him, then send a thank you note to his wife. :)
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
While it is past the time the legal father could file suit to disestablish patenrity if he is not the biological father, that will not solve the problem. Let him pay for the cost of a court ordered paternity test and put the issue to rest. However, if you had sex with anyone else within a month or so of conception, be prepared for other findings and a possible paternity fraud lawsuit which is a different quesiton. How many women have gone on Maury swearing that there was no possibility of another father only to be proven wrong. What ever the truth is, it is better to deal with it and get through it.
 

txmomof2

Member
Testing

howamidoing said:
:confused: Hmmmm. Are you sure this is about the daughter and not your anger towards him, or SOMETHING else. You work at the welfare office?So did I. You would think that would give you some insight to the paternity testing. You should know what happens when a father has been paying on a child that isnt his. I think there is something deeper here.
No, there is nothing 'deeper' here.....I'm not angry at him, I could care less about him. We don't see each other unless we are going to court- he lives 120 miles away. I'm actually thankful that if he's going to be a deadbeat, he's a deadbeat 'all the way' and not in and out of my daughter's life all the time.

I work at the welfare office, not the child support office. I know nothing about paternity testing...if I did, I wouldn't have asked.

I have no clue what would happen if a father has been paying on a child that's not his- normally, when it doesn't affect me personally, I don't have a need to know. At the welfare office HERE, I REFER people to the OAG- but what happens after that, I have no idea.

I know it sounds 'cliche' to say "oh, I know 100% that it's HIS" since you DO see this on "Maury" and whatnot- but I'm inclined to believe that if Maury put on the guests that actually DID know, no one would watch. Unless my daughter is the second coming of Christ, I know she's his.

My whole point is- it's irritating to ME that he has the gall to request such a thing after all this time. If there had been any chance- ANY CHANCE- she was someone elses'- I'd have dealt with that back then. There isn't. The OAG actually ENCOURAGED him to take a test back in 1991- the child support officer at the time told him it was foolish not to- even if he just 'knows' his daughter is his. He declined.

I'm posting to ask because as I've said- I've had clients come in and talk about finding out AFTER an order was established- and I never did know what happened to those cases either.

My thing is this- the new wife is likely irritated at the child support he's supposed to be paying (he's had other children since our daughter was born)....and I guess is thinking of any off the wall thing to get it stopped.
 

softballmom11

Junior Member
I have a 15 year old daughter that has a dad living 900 miles away and she doesn't ever see him, mainly because of the new wife. I would explain to your daughter that her dad's new wife is questioning whether her dad is her real father and because her dad doesn't have a backbone, he is requesting a test be done to make sure. I'd let him have the test done and like what's been posted before, when the test come back that he's 100% the father, go after him for back child support with a vengence and make his life a miserable hell.
 

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