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  1. #1
    jleestewart is offline Junior Member
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    Paternity test reveals I am not the father

    What is the name of your state? Alabama. A paternity test recently revealed that I am not the father of my 17 year old daughter whose mother I divorced 10 years ago. I have paid child support to the mother. For all the years that I paid child support, do I get money refunded back to me? And is the child's real father responsible for paying back child support? Also, would the mother pay back the money paid to her for child support?
  2. #2
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jleestewart View Post
    What is the name of your state? Alabama. A paternity test recently revealed that I am not the father of my 17 year old daughter whose mother I divorced 10 years ago. I have paid child support to the mother. For all the years that I paid child support, do I get money refunded back to me? And is the child's real father responsible for paying back child support? Also, would the mother pay back the money paid to her for child support?
    No, No and NO!
  3. #3
    ezmarelda is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jleestewart View Post
    What is the name of your state? Alabama. A paternity test recently revealed that I am not the father of my 17 year old daughter whose mother I divorced 10 years ago. I have paid child support to the mother. For all the years that I paid child support, do I get money refunded back to me? And is the child's real father responsible for paying back child support? Also, would the mother pay back the money paid to her for child support?

    Nice to see yet another around here with their priorities so very straight
  4. #4
    mskad is offline Junior Member
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    This is the kind of stuff that ticks me off. This man was duped into believing the child was his, and now that he knows the truth, you people are treating him like he's the criminal?? HELLO, he is the victim of paternity fraud, and he's just supposed to say "oh well?" What the heck is wrong with you??
  5. #5
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskad View Post
    This is the kind of stuff that ticks me off. This man was duped into believing the child was his, and now that he knows the truth, you people are treating him like he's the criminal?? HELLO, he is the victim of paternity fraud, and he's just supposed to say "oh well?" What the heck is wrong with you??
    And how do you know he was DUPED? how do you know anything more than what he has posted here?
  6. #6
    mskad is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BelizeBreeze View Post
    And how do you know he was DUPED? how do you know anything more than what he has posted here?
    And how do YOU know he wasn't?
  7. #7
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskad View Post
    And how do YOU know he wasn't?
    Well, since you seem all hot and bothered, I'll take my law degree and go home and YOU can give this poster legal advice.

    nighty night
  8. #8
    ezmarelda is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskad View Post
    This is the kind of stuff that ticks me off. This man was duped into believing the child was his, and now that he knows the truth, you people are treating him like he's the criminal?? HELLO, he is the victim of paternity fraud, and he's just supposed to say "oh well?" What the heck is wrong with you??
    I NEVER said he should be happy about the situation...however I find it sickening that he is worried about the $$$ and not the relationship with his now almost adult child
  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorry...eme View Post
    I NEVER said he should be happy about the situation...however I find it sickening that he is worried about the $$$ and not the relationship with his now almost adult child
    While legally the child is his it is NOT his biological child . The mother knew at the time that the OP wasn't the only potential father .
    Last edited by triviafreakdad; 12-30-2006 at 02:03 AM.
  10. #10
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by triviafreakdad View Post
    While legally the child is his it is NOT his biological child . The mother knew at the time that the OP wasn't the only potential father .
    The point fair is trying to make is while it was wrong for mom to not disclose the possibility that the child wasn't his, he has been this child's FATHER for 17 YEARS. . As a PARENT, he should be more concerned about the CHILD'S well-being then exacting revenge on mom.

    If he is a remotely decent father, he would realize that he has gotten a tremendous return on his "investment" of child support, in the form of a child, who is priceless. The OP needs to think about what his life would be like had mom told the truth from day one. Would the past 17 YEARS have been better without this child in his life? Would he be better off today if he never had a relationship her? Or is it just all about the money for him?
  11. #11
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    NOT being the bioligal parent does NOT mean one can't and won't still have a relationship with their child - our child is not our biological child, and it matters not. S

    However, we had the right to an informed decision to adopt our daughter. We had the right to CHOOSE to assume parental responsibility for a child that was not biologically ours. Our child had the right to have the truth of our NOT being her bioparents known to her.

    I find it abhorant that we give women who lie and dupe someone into paternity a "free pass" ssimply because they managed to get away with it long enough. There SHOULD be consequences, and dire ones, for a person who perpetrates a fraud such as lying about paternity. Holding mom financially accountable should in no way mean that this dad and daughter can't still have a relationship. Heck, she's almost an adult and will soon have the right to see or not see whomever she wishes. She, too, was duped, and should be entitled to recourse.

    BB, I just really have a problem with the idea that a woman can just dupe a child and parent, and if she gets away with it long enough, we treat DAD as the "bad" guy for feeling she should be accountable for making fraudulant representations. Maybe if more women got dinged legally for pulling this crap, fewer women would cheat their child this way.

    If a person is going to raise a child who is not theirs biologically as their own, they should need to go through the adoption process, same as we did. Not be cheated into it.

    IT is ironic that adoptee rights groups spend so much time and energy to make their birth records available, because they feel that every child should have the right to at least know their medical roots, yet family law allows far MORE children to be cheated out of knowledge of who their biofather actually is by the way they assign, then refuse to correct, inaccurate bioparentage on a birth certificate..
  12. #12
    mskad is offline Junior Member
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    Since he has been paying support for the past 10 years for a child that is not even his, I believe that does make him a remotely decent father. Be honest and ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your child was not really yours? Would that not change your perspective? What would your initial reaction be? The law regarding presumed legal fatherhood is antiquated and needs to be erased from the law books. The only purpose it serves now is to protect women who lie about the paternity of their children from being thrown out on their arses. Women have the advantage of knowing the child is theirs. Unless the OP suspected otherwise, he could only assume that the child was his because mom said it was so. Should all men now demand paternity testing at birth, whether or not they are married to mom? I cannot believe in this day and age where no one thinks twice about teenage pregnancy, out of wedlock births, single motherhood by choice, legalized abortion, and a whole host of other social issues that at one time were considered taboo, we still don't expect women to be honest about their child's paternity? This man is potentially a victim of fraud, a crime that in any other sector is punishable, yet you people have the attitude of "too bad, so sad." If he chooses to continue a relationship with this child, then more power to him, but he is entitled to restitution if he was in fact duped. It is not right to make one man responsible for another man's child without his express knowledge and consent. Mom should have thought about the consequences of her actions a long time ago. Yet another woman will get away scot free.
  13. #13
    45Frank is offline Member
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    The bottom line is the Mother lied and is getting away with it ! Unfortunately that seems to be the norm, a women lies gets away with it and it's oh well. If this father hadn't paid his support for ten years because he lied the tone here would be very different.

    Explaining what the law is and what the Judges do in real live courts is totally different.

    Commend the dad for paying for ten years as he was supposed to as a responsible person.

    Good luck and Good Day
    Happy New Year
  14. #14
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    And every boy/man in the world has the option to do a paternity test EVERY TIME THEIR GF/FIANCEE/WIFE/MISTRESS/ONE NIGHT STAND/BOOTY CALL, OR WHATEVER THEY GO TO BED WITH, GIVES BIRTH!!!!!!! They also, just like women, have the option of making sure they truly know the other person before they have unproteced sex with them.

    I don't think women should get away with paternity fraud, but I'm sick and tired of men whining when they obviously cared more about sticking their johnson in someone than exercising their option of finding definitive truth from the get go. When a boy/man becomes of legal adult age, he shouldn't NEED a "mommy" to tell him what he should do when the answer is so obvious!!!!!
  15. #15
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AHA View Post
    And every boy/man in the world has the option to do a paternity test EVERY TIME THEIR GF/FIANCEE/WIFE/MISTRESS/ONE NIGHT STAND/BOOTY CALL, OR WHATEVER THEY GO TO BED WITH, GIVES BIRTH!!!!!!! They also, just like women, have the option of making sure they truly know the other person before they have unproteced sex with them.

    I don't think women should get away with paternity fraud, but I'm sick and tired of men whining when they obviously cared more about sticking their johnson in someone than exercising their option of finding definitive truth from the get go. When a boy/man becomes of legal adult age, he shouldn't NEED a "mommy" to tell him what he should do when the answer is so obvious!!!!!
    The problem with your response it that many of the "duped men" were duped regarding children born of their marriage.

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