Pay child support arrears if I've had custody of our daughter for 5 years?

[Napoleonesco]

Michigan

I've had custody of our 12 year old daughter since March of 2009, after she lost custody due to drug use and instability. I still owe my ex-wife arrears from when she had custody but she has paid me no child support during this time, nor does she have a child support order in place.

She has now gotten herself together (She's receiving SSD) and is threatening to take me back to court for custody and still keep me on the hook for $15,000 in arrears that has only gone that high because of interest. She demands that I hand over the $20,000 my daughter got from social security or she's going to take me to court for custody. Is there a way my arrears can be offset due to her not paying me anything in the five years I've had custody or am I stuck with the bill? Is there anything a lawyer can do for me?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

This issue is clear. It is against Federal law for you to give her your daughter SS money.

 

[Zigner]

However, you ARE on the hook for the arrears.

 

[Napoleonesco]

So i'm required to pay her arrearage that has accrued over the past 5 years as well as support my daughter while she gets off scott free? A lawyer couldn't have this offset if a child support order is entered against her?

 

[Ohiogal]

So i'm required to pay her arrearage that has accrued over the past 5 years as well as support my daughter while she gets off scott free? A lawyer couldn't have this offset if a child support order is entered against her?

You should have filed for child support when you got custody. Since you didn't, you basically waived that issue for the last five years. That is YOUR fault. If you currently get an order, you can ask that in lieu of payments from her that until your child is emancipated, Mother's payments offset your arrearages. However since you are receiving dependent benefits due to Mother's disability, those dependent benefits become most likely Mother's child support. Hence you would end up sending her money.

 

[Napoleonesco]

You should have filed for child support when you got custody. Since you didn't, you basically waived that issue for the last five years. That is YOUR fault. If you currently get an order, you can ask that in lieu of payments from her that until your child is emancipated, Mother's payments offset your arrearages. However since you are receiving dependent benefits due to Mother's disability, those dependent benefits become most likely Mother's child support. Hence you would end up sending her money.

So there is no way to press the issue for "back child support"?

 

[Ohiogal]

So there is no way to press the issue for "back child support"?

NO. You waived that issue by not requesting it. And yes, you still owe the arrearages you didn't pay mom. What you should have done was request child support at the time you requested and got custody. Then you would not be in this mess. Or better yet you could have just paid the support you owed when mom had custody.

 

[Napoleonesco]

NO. You waived that issue by not requesting it. And yes, you still owe the arrearages you didn't pay mom. What you should have done was request child support at the time you requested and got custody. Then you would not be in this mess. Or better yet you could have just paid the support you owed when mom had custody.

Oh I see that i'm being made out to be the bad guy in this situation because I got behind on child support. My arrears then was no where near the $15,000 owed now.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh I see that i'm being made out to be the bad guy in this situation because I got behind on child support. My arrears then was no where near the $15,000 owed now.

I understand your frustration.

But it doesn't matter in the eyes of the court. In their eyes, you should have acted as soon as possible to get CS from Mom and then request that the amount goes to arrears you owed Mom until it's paid off.

As it is, Mom's never owed you anything because she had no child support obligation. Michigan will not allow a retroactive modification, either.

Now with that said, what's the reasoning behind you owing Mom?

(Yes, the question has a point)

 

[TheGeekess]

I understand your frustration.

But it doesn't matter in the eyes of the court. In their eyes, you should have acted as soon as possible to get CS from Mom and then request that the amount goes to arrears you owed Mom until it's paid off.

As it is, Mom's never owed you anything because she had no child support obligation. Michigan will not allow a retroactive modification, either.

Now with that said, what's the reasoning behind you owing Mom?

(Yes, the question has a point)

Or is it the State he owes?

 

[Napoleonesco]

I understand your frustration.

But it doesn't matter in the eyes of the court. In their eyes, you should have acted as soon as possible to get CS from Mom and then request that the amount goes to arrears you owed Mom until it's paid off.

As it is, Mom's never owed you anything because she had no child support obligation. Michigan will not allow a retroactive modification, either.

Now with that said, what's the reasoning behind you owing Mom?

(Yes, the question has a point)

I lost my job and was unemployed for awhile.

 

[LdiJ]

Oh I see that i'm being made out to be the bad guy in this situation because I got behind on child support. My arrears then was no where near the $15,000 owed now.

Honestly yes, you ARE the bad guy when it comes to the arrears. Even if a decent chunk of interest accumulated you still obviously went a significant amount of time without paying your court ordered child support, or it wouldn't be 15k. You DO owe the money and you are going to have to pay it. Quite frankly, for your sake, the sooner the better. Its simply going to continue to accrue interest.

You can file for child support now, but since mom is receiving SSDI and you are getting benefits for the child, the court will consider that to be mom's child support, so that won't do you any good. In addition, even IF an attorney could get you a retro/back support order, the 20k that you received as a lump sum benefit for your child, would count towards that retro/back support, so that wouldn't do you any good either.

 

[torimac]

Why on earth would you not use some of that lump sum to pay the arrears? It's money you did not have and did not plan on having. You obviously are ok with not receiving child support as you did not file when custody changed. Regardless of that, you will be receiving support until/unless Mom no longer receives SSDI. Take some of the lump sum to pay the arrears:

1) You still have some left which is still money you did not plan on having, so you are still in the green
2) Mom no longer has that issue to argue about
3) You clean up your credit report as the arrears will continue to affect it negatively

If the money is owed to the state, you could attempt to negotiate it down. You would need to find out how much is owed to Mom, how much is owed to the state.

 

[Napoleonesco]

Why on earth would you not use some of that lump sum to pay the arrears? It's money you did not have and did not plan on having. You obviously are ok with not receiving child support as you did not file when custody changed. Regardless of that, you will be receiving support until/unless Mom no longer receives SSDI. Take some of the lump sum to pay the arrears:

1) You still have some left which is still money you did not plan on having, so you are still in the green
2) Mom no longer has that issue to argue about
3) You clean up your credit report as the arrears will continue to affect it negatively

If the money is owed to the state, you could attempt to negotiate it down. You would need to find out how much is owed to Mom, how much is owed to the state.

I thought about using some of the lump sum to funnel to her through FOC but I don't believe its legal. And I want to make this clear. ALL SHE WANTS IS THE MONEY. There was never an issue about me having custody UNTIL she found out my daughter would be receiving that money.

 

[Silverplum]

I thought about using some of the lump sum to funnel to her through FOC but I don't believe its legal. And I want to make this clear. ALL SHE WANTS IS THE MONEY. There was never an issue about me having custody UNTIL she found out my daughter would be receiving that money.

There was a court order for you to pay cs. Only a court order can change an existing order. Your worry isn't Mom's attitude.

Ignorance of the law, lack of respect for the law, etc. is not an excuse.