Pay off and Child Support arrears and child support stopped

[sgermain28]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota.

My 8 year old daughter's grandmother (her dad's mother) offered to pay me $20,000.00 to stop child support completely and erase his arrears. The total amount he owes me is $27,000.00 in arrears and he is suppose to pay me $337.00 a month.

He used to live in Wisconsin and moved to Florida because there is a warrant out for his arrest in Wisconsin as well as Minnesota. He has no license or car insurance and cannot get a job anywhere because they take all of his money and has nothing to live off of. He has a lien on his car as well.

His mother has paid for everything for her granddaughter from the start and she always goes to her grandmother's house and has never stayed with her father. Now she wants to pay me off so her son can have a live she said. He is 51 years old and has nothing and has not had a full time job in 6 or 7 years.

I am wondering if I should take her up on her offer but not sure if it will back fire on me later. I know I will never see the $27,000.00 but was wondering if I should have something in writing about if he received an inheritance or lottery or something. Or at least have him pay $50.00 a month.

There is also an order for parenting time that I set up in 2013. He is suppose to take her every other weekend and one day a week which he does not follow at all. His mother will email giving me a date as to when they would like to take her and agree on it. They pick her up at 3:40 PM from school on Fridays and bring her back at 3:30 PM on Sundays even though in the court papers they are supposed to bring her back at 6:00 PM. But again it is her grandparents bringing her back not her dad. They live in Chippewa Falls, WI, about 2 hours away from me. There are no grandparent court papers but I am just doing this so my daughter can see and know her grandma and grandpa.

I want to do the right thing but do not want to get the shafted in the end.

Any advice would be grateful.

 

[Zigner]

Yours really isn't a legal question. To me, if somebody, on behalf of my ex, offered me $20,000 so long as I forgave the remaining $140,000.00, I'd take it in a heartbeat. $20,000 is more than the $0 that I presently stand to collect.

With that said, if you've ever been on government assistance that he hasn't paid back, then you can't forgive the arrears because it, (a portion of it, possibly up to 100% of it) belongs to the government.

 

[sgermain28]

No. I am not on assistance and never will be. I provide for my child completely on my own.

 

[sgermain28]

I guess a legal question would be should I take a check or should I have the check be sent through the child support agency where they will take their cut. Whatever percentage that might be.

 

[LdiJ]

I guess a legal question would be should I take a check or should I have the check be sent through the child support agency where they will take their cut. Whatever percentage that might be.

It should go through the child support agency. Then you will need to take it to court to forgive the rest of the arrears and to stop child support.

 

[wavehopper27]

Personally, I would not take it. He owes you $27,000 currently and will owe you over $40,000 over the next 10 years until your daughter turns 18 so you will essentially be giving him a gift of over $47,000.

I'd tell grandma to take a walk.

 

[STEPHAN]

I would take it. Right now you have nothing, 20K is a lot of money. You could even invest it wisely.

You need to figure out if you will ever get money from him otherwise.

Any, hey, if someone offers 20, you can always ask for 30 and settle at 25.

 

[stealth2]

You can't waive future support anyway, AFAIK. I'd take the money, then file for support in a year or two.

 

[Ohiogal]

Future waiver of support is unenforceable.

 

[FlyingRon]

Just to add that your visitation concerns are distinct from the support issue.

 

[torimac]

Take the $20k in exchange for the arrears but don't stop support. Instead, take him back to court, allow him to request a lower support due to his working conditions and ask for $50 a month. Also have the court dismiss the arrears. Offer it as a fresh start. He should be supporting his child and with the arrears gone, he could get a job and pay a small amount.

 

[wavehopper27]

You can't waive future support anyway, AFAIK. I'd take the money, then file for support in a year or two.

I love this idea. Take grandma's money then re-file for support. Any agreemeent you sign stating that you will not pursue a child support order will be thrown out by the judge.

One good screw over deserves another.

 

[stealth2]

I love this idea. Take grandma's money then re-file for support. Any agreemeent you sign stating that you will not pursue a child support order will be thrown out by the judge.

One good screw over deserves another.

LOL I think I know you know this isn't the person I am, normally. But I do think it stinks when adults (i.e. Dad and Granny) don't believe a child in their family should receive basic support. So yeah, Dad deserves a screw job.

 

[sgermain28]

LOL. This is the email I received from her today.

I went down today and paid $3460 to bring Jeff up to compliance through April. The gal was sooo nice to talk to , so I decided to ask her about the offer I made you & if she thought that that would be something child

support would agree to. .I I explained to her that it would be the only way that you will ever get any large amount of money from Jeff, because he just isn't able to get/keep jobs. Never has been. Once I am gone...it will NEVER happen, This way, Sav would have something, anyway.



She said Yes...They have done things like that in her office. (she didn't go into detail). I told her that you had mentioned consulting a lawyer, and she said it is between the 2 parties..you & child support. She said

its up to you if you want to take the $20,000 for the arrears and remove the order..... that's totally up to you. A lawyer might just quote you some laws & take your money, but in the end its all up to you.



So if you decide to do it, it would be good to get it done as soon as possible. Being I paid the $3460 today, I would only give you $16540.00 (20,000).

 

[sgermain28]

I was thinking that she is correct that I will never see the money.

Even without the child support over his head I do not think things will get any better for him because of all of the poor choices he has made. I don't really want to but I think it is the best chance for my daughter to get something for her future.

I was thinking of countering with $30,000.00 because of the cost of college for the year of 2015/2016 was $7,246.00. Yes, I know it will be more than that in 10 years when she goes to college but if I invest the money it will increase some.

And even if nothing changes for the better for him it will not be because of me.

But, I do like your idea of possibility filing in a couple of years if things improve for him. But if not, then I won't. Or I can always change it to $50.00 a month. Even though that is only $600.00 a year it pays for um, her school lunches?? LOL

You get what you give and give good right? Karma?