paying for a child that isnt mine

[neverknew]

What is the name of your state?NEW YORK STATE-

OK- I was laid off in September of 2003 - .com job, company went out of business. I filed for a petition of modification and got it(temporary)
I noticed my ex's second child (not mine) on the paper work. Next court appearance I find out I am paying support for this woman’s other child and have been for the past three years. I have never used a lawyer (obviously). She readily admitted in court the child isn’t mine- the judge adjourned the case and asked I bring in a copy of the divorce papers.( I assume this is to show proof of the one child under support)
I am embarrassed and furious at the same time. I am embarrassed because my ignorance of the law let this happen and I am the only one to blame. I am furious because my ex knew I was paying for the second child and took every penny of it. does anyone know what my chances are of getting this child removed now that I have been paying for so long? and secondly will I be able to collect arrears from the ex? Thirdly is she guilty of any criminal act?
Any help is much appreciated...

 

[BL]

First,When A Petition is filed for CS , the names of the Subject child(ren) are listed. You should have been served the Petition,and seen this error .
I know I didn't know squat either at first .

The Papers most likely have some references If one lies on them what could happen, but I doubt if anything other than a modification would be in order .

In my papers Family Court Orders/matters ran concurrent with Divorce Orders.

If support was paid through the CSEU the judge may Order " Any over-payments by you to be returned to you , forthwith the order ". By the CS enforcement Office.

I don't know how it would work if you were paying privately . But any way you slice it , the order should reflect an adjustment or something ( maybe over time ) for you to recoup the overpayment .

Your child still needs to be supported and I doubt they Judge would stop all payments at once to allow for recoupment .

In my case the CSEU was still holding the payments so they sent me the reimbursement .

 

[neverknew]

Thank you for the reply!
When I originally petitioned for support in 1997 (yup I initiated) The other child was on the paperwork. I requested at that time she be removed and she was. In 2001 my ex took me to court to have the support raised. this is when the child was again placed on the support order, unbeknownst to me..
I have absolutely no problem paying for my son, he is of course my responsibility and I want only the best for him. but only a fool or wealthy saint would pay for a child that isn’t theirs. My primary concern is that I will not have to continue to pay support for this child. do you know if there is any possibility of the child not being removed? My ex actually gave the courts paperwork to try and have me pay for the kids private school! I have had no parental contact with this child and she was born a few years after we separated.
Thanks for your help!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If you noticed the extra child born 2 years after the date of separation on the papers and the child was removed do you have a copy of those papers? Make sure the judge has a copy of those, they should be on file with the court, but it is possible that you saw the child removed but it not actually filed. Then she with knowledge placed the child on subsequent orders she is in contempt and worse, she also should have sought support from the father of that child even if the divorce was not final making or thinking that you were the legal father by default. Here is a link to New York paternity laws
http://www.uslegalforms.com/lawdigest/paternity-law-digest.php/NY/NY-598P.htm

She is responsible for obtaining C/S from the father and most likely will be required to repay you, at the same time it is possible she won't be able to collect back C/S from the bio father if she didn't pursue it then but it would start after the DNA test unless there was some agreement for him to not accept paternity and trick you into paying for it. Does she know who the father is?

Have you thought about filing for custody yourself, are you able to take full custody if you are granted it? These actions on the part of the mother do not reflect well on her fitness or reliability, she may have other potential legal problems as well. You should petition the court to appoint a Guardian ad litem to serve the best interests of your child and the other child who's future needs someone to look after their best interest .... Civil Court of the City of New York, the court ... list of individuals qualified to act as a guardian ad litem.
http://www.nycourts.gov/courts/nyc/housing/updates/LSM/lsm153.htm

 

[BL]

Obviously,the Judge wants to see the Divorce orders to see what child(ren) are listed as yours. If it is on record from the mother this child is not yours,and the court determines the child is not, the Modification should reflect that.

 

[neverknew]

Thank You

Thanks for the reply's
I feel much better seeing your responses, I hope NYC Family court sees things the same way. My court date is 9/17/2004 I will let you know what happens- I may actually get some sleep tonight=)

 

[neverknew]

Just to answer your questions--

Yes, I do have copies of the paperwork- I tried to present them to the judge/magistrate at the court appearance, he wouldnt look at them. and gave me no explanation why. but this is the point at which he asked for the divorce papers. I asked him if their was any other documentation he would like me to provide as proof and his response was " dont know your on your own with that one"

I would love to have my son on a full time basis and have tried to get full custody before, at this point I have joint legal custody.

Yes, she does know who the father of the child is- as do I - from what I know he is an unemployed construction worker that took off a few years ago.
has no involvement with the girl.

Would the court appoint the guardian? I am very interested in this and would love to have a proffesional evaluate the EX's home as well as mine if this was needed.

Thanks again!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Call about a guardian tomorrow, for both children, if you ex is committing fraud that could make a big difference before your court date. Guess it was easier to collect C/ S from you than a dad on the lam

 

[BL]

NeverKnew , If I am reading your post correctly you are going to court for Child Support Modification.

A Modification Hearing is usually conducted by a Hearing Officer . The officer may not have taken any of your info. then because the date was rescheduled. Get all relevant court documents ( copies ), to support the fact you are not the father of her one child . If need be go to their records room before the hearing date,and request to look through the records ( have your ID and docket # handy ),then ask for copies and take notes of those you aren't allowed for proof in Court.
Arm yourself with as much proof as possible to support you are NOT the Father of one listed child .

In any event the only venue you could seek appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem is in a Custody/Visitations Court room, not a Child Support hearing .
If you decide to Petition for Custody/Visitations Modification, you would request an appointment of the GAL at that hearing,and the Judge would reschedule to set that up .
( At one hearing I went to ,the Officer lent me the file to look through and make copies at the courthouse,and recalled me in 15 - 20 mins later ) . I was seeking a change in Jurisdiction though and didn't have all the copies I might need .

 

[neverknew]

going to trial

Hi Again,
Well I went to the hearing on the 17th, and here are the results (condensed version). After handing over my pay stubs and reviewing them the judge set the payment amount... for the two children! I politely asked him why he hadn’t removed the second child, after which he asked my ex if the child was mine (again). She said no the child wasn’t mine. He then asked her if she agreed to have the child removed from the support order - She actually had the nerve to say NO. The judge checked my divorce papers and adjusted for the one child and then set payment for his private school tuition as well. At this point she had a fit and told the judge she has been patient but enough is enough. She went on to state that "it isn’t her fault that I have three other children that was his choice". After this the judge stopped everything and again adjourned the case for a trial date. Making no adjustment. Now he wants my wife’s pay stubs and the birth certificates of my three other children. -
My wife has been home on maternity leave and hasn’t brought a check home
in quiet a while- she never went back to work because the child care costs are literally more then her paycheck.
I waived my rights to a lawyer in the begining of this- is it to late to bring one in? if so does anyone know of any creative ways to work out payments with one?

I have a sinking feeling I am about to get royally screwed...

I don’t know what to do anymore. A year ago I was making a very comfortable salary and supporting my family. Now I make less then $400.00
A week, and I am about to file bankruptcy. Every time I go to court these clowns make me feel as if I have done something wrong I have completely had It.

 

[nextwife]

Stop representing yourself. When you go back, have an attorney handle it. The financial stakes are too high. You should have NO financial responsibilty for this other child, and you should be able to have the overpayments applied toward your obligation over time.

This is ridiculous. The rationale of taking money from any NCP they can get it from "in the best interests of the child", whether or not the person is actually in any way related to the child is outrageous.

 

[BL]

Hi Again,
Well I went to the hearing on the 17th, and here are the results (condensed version). After handing over my pay stubs and reviewing them the judge set the payment amount... for the two children! I politely asked him why he hadn’t removed the second child, after which he asked my ex if the child was mine (again). She said no the child wasn’t mine. He then asked her if she agreed to have the child removed from the support order - She actually had the nerve to say NO. The judge checked my divorce papers and adjusted for the one child and then set payment for his private school tuition as well. At this point she had a fit and told the judge she has been patient but enough is enough. She went on to state that "it isn’t her fault that I have three other children that was his choice". After this the judge stopped everything and again adjourned the case for a trial date. Making no adjustment. Now he wants my wife’s pay stubs and the birth certificates of my three other children. -
My wife has been home on maternity leave and hasn’t brought a check home
in quiet a while- she never went back to work because the child care costs are literally more then her paycheck.
I waived my rights to a lawyer in the begining of this- is it to late to bring one in? if so does anyone know of any creative ways to work out payments with one?

I have a sinking feeling I am about to get royally screwed...

I don’t know what to do anymore. A year ago I was making a very comfortable salary and supporting my family. Now I make less then $400.00
A week, and I am about to file bankruptcy. Every time I go to court these clowns make me feel as if I have done something wrong I have completely had It.

I live in NY and have NEVER heard of a Child Support hearing turning into a TRIAL.
In all my appearances , the hearing officer makes the rulings ( decisions )
( Of course this was family court hearings ) . If a party wants to object to the decision they have 30 to submit a written objection. This objection is reviewed by a Family Court Judge ( not the hearing officer ) , and the objection will be ruled on in a written decision .

This is absolutely ridiculous the the hearing officer even entertain the child that is proven not to be yours .

 

[Gracie3787]

Hi Again,
Well I went to the hearing on the 17th, and here are the results (condensed version). After handing over my pay stubs and reviewing them the judge set the payment amount... for the two children! I politely asked him why he hadn’t removed the second child, after which he asked my ex if the child was mine (again). She said no the child wasn’t mine. He then asked her if she agreed to have the child removed from the support order - She actually had the nerve to say NO. The judge checked my divorce papers and adjusted for the one child and then set payment for his private school tuition as well. At this point she had a fit and told the judge she has been patient but enough is enough. She went on to state that "it isn’t her fault that I have three other children that was his choice". After this the judge stopped everything and again adjourned the case for a trial date. Making no adjustment. Now he wants my wife’s pay stubs and the birth certificates of my three other children. -
My wife has been home on maternity leave and hasn’t brought a check home
in quiet a while- she never went back to work because the child care costs are literally more then her paycheck.
I waived my rights to a lawyer in the begining of this- is it to late to bring one in? if so does anyone know of any creative ways to work out payments with one?

I have a sinking feeling I am about to get royally screwed...

I don’t know what to do anymore. A year ago I was making a very comfortable salary and supporting my family. Now I make less then $400.00
A week, and I am about to file bankruptcy. Every time I go to court these clowns make me feel as if I have done something wrong I have completely had It.

Wow, that judge sounds likes some of the judges that my husband has had the displeasure of dealing with.

Judges like that one are what I call "Deadbeat Parent Makers". I will never understand how society and the "CS system" thinks that treating NCP's worse than any convicted murderer would do any good to ensure support for kids. All it actually does is make some NCP's, who would otherwise willingly pay support, turn into deadbeats. While I do not agree with a NCP not paying any support, I can sure understand WHY they don't want to pay.

My husband's ex deliberately listed her other 3 kids' daycare and health ins on financial papers in an effort to have my husband pay HER other kids' expenses, it worked the first time. But the second time it went to court my husband told the judge " Your Honor, those 3 children are not mine, and I absoloutly will not continue to pay for their expenses, and if you wish to find me in contempt and jail me for speaking out in court and refusing to support kids that are not mine, then so be it your Honor". It was a good thing that he had a honest, fair and lawabiding judge that time.

Do you have an attorney? If not you really need to get one. I wish you luck.

 

[neverknew]

I know - I just don’t get it, I have proven to this guy I lost my job through no fault of my own(the company shut down u.s. operations), I keep a job search diary showing I am actively looking for better employment. Through all of this I have not missed a single support payment! On top of this my ex has admitted several times in court the second child isn’t mine, but refuses to relinquish support.....

OK- know that I have vented I was hoping you guys can help me with the following:
1.- what is going to happen when I go back for trial-(do I have to present more evidence etc. or does this just mean he is going to make a final ruling)
2.- being that I have not used an attorney to this point - will they just let me show up with one on the trial date?
3.- the court case is in NY but I have been living in pa for almost three years.
will this affect anything?
4.- can I go after her or the father of the second child with a civil suit for anything?
5.- lastly- if this goes badly - will I be able to appeal? And is there any way of requesting another judge- stating prejudicial treatment or something?

Again- thanks to everyone for all the input I truly appreciate it. Also if you are an attorney in the NY area and feel you may be able to help please feel free to contact me, maybe we can barter for something or work out a payment plan- I do professional web design, corporate intranets, networking, PC/server maintenance and upgrades. I also have formal training in photography-I can provide references at your request.

 

[BL]

Ok , since it's still not clear , In what Court Dept. does the summons state you're to appear in, and does in say in front of a Hearing Officer,Judge, or what ?

No matter what dept. you go to, you will still need to state your case with your evidence .