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Paying child support to custodial parent directly

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quiet storm

Junior Member
OHIO

Let me first say my daughter and ex live in Ohio. I do not. The divorce was in Kentucky. I have faithfully payed my ex-wife directly the last 12 years with a check every month for my daughters child support. I've had a few people seem surprised over the years when I tell them this and are surprised that I haven't gone thru an agency. I've already read that if you don't go thru an agency it could be viewed as gift, EVEN IF YOU SHOW PROOF THAT YOU PAYED HER. So how true is that? If I was able to show that I paid her every single month(probably couldnt 100% for every single month, but I have tried hard to keep every statement and check stub the last 12 years and could account for most of it) would I really be on the hook for 12 years of child support? The divorce decree from Kentucky is pretty vague. It just specifies the amount that I will pay up until the age of 18 or 19 if she is still in high school, splitting of medical bills, etc.....It doesnty say specifically that support should be payed thru an agency. Does that matter?

Now, I don't see any of this as ever being an issue. I don't think my ex-wife is capable of being that evil and we have always gotten along pretty well. Most of the time...lol. But me being the type of person that has to have something to worry about, it bugs me from time to time. I have nightmares of my daughter turning 17 next year and my ex conveniently deciding after all this time that she is going to go to the Ohio child support agency**************......
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
If there's a court order, it's not a gift. It could only be seen as a gift if you were paying directly with NO court order to do so.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
OHIO

Let me first say my daughter and ex live in Ohio. I do not. The divorce was in Kentucky. I have faithfully payed my ex-wife directly the last 12 years with a check every month for my daughters child support. I've had a few people seem surprised over the years when I tell them this and are surprised that I haven't gone thru an agency. I've already read that if you don't go thru an agency it could be viewed as gift, EVEN IF YOU SHOW PROOF THAT YOU PAYED HER. So how true is that? If I was able to show that I paid her every single month(probably couldnt 100% for every single month, but I have tried hard to keep every statement and check stub the last 12 years and could account for most of it) would I really be on the hook for 12 years of child support? The divorce decree from Kentucky is pretty vague. It just specifies the amount that I will pay up until the age of 18 or 19 if she is still in high school, splitting of medical bills, etc.....It doesnty say specifically that support should be payed thru an agency. Does that matter?

Now, I don't see any of this as ever being an issue. I don't think my ex-wife is capable of being that evil and we have always gotten along pretty well. Most of the time...lol. But me being the type of person that has to have something to worry about, it bugs me from time to time. I have nightmares of my daughter turning 17 next year and my ex conveniently deciding after all this time that she is going to go to the Ohio child support agency**************......
If she does, you carry your court orders and your cancelled checks. :cool:
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
OHIO

Let me first say my daughter and ex live in Ohio. I do not. The divorce was in Kentucky. I have faithfully payed my ex-wife directly the last 12 years with a check every month for my daughters child support. I've had a few people seem surprised over the years when I tell them this and are surprised that I haven't gone thru an agency. I've already read that if you don't go thru an agency it could be viewed as gift, EVEN IF YOU SHOW PROOF THAT YOU PAYED HER. So how true is that? If I was able to show that I paid her every single month(probably couldnt 100% for every single month, but I have tried hard to keep every statement and check stub the last 12 years and could account for most of it) would I really be on the hook for 12 years of child support? The divorce decree from Kentucky is pretty vague. It just specifies the amount that I will pay up until the age of 18 or 19 if she is still in high school, splitting of medical bills, etc.....It doesnty say specifically that support should be payed thru an agency. Does that matter?

Now, I don't see any of this as ever being an issue. I don't think my ex-wife is capable of being that evil and we have always gotten along pretty well. Most of the time...lol. But me being the type of person that has to have something to worry about, it bugs me from time to time. I have nightmares of my daughter turning 17 next year and my ex conveniently deciding after all this time that she is going to go to the Ohio child support agency**************......
If your ex decided she wanted to file for child support, then the order for payment of support would go back to the date of filing - so you would not be responsible for 12 years of back support. My husband paid his ex non-court ordered support for many years. It works for some people, just not for others.

Just keep good records, focus on co-parenting your child, and don't make the money more important than your child.

take care, tigi;)
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
My X used to pay me in CASH the child support. I was happy to receive it. When it came time to document that I did receive support to purchase a home, my X and I sat down and figured out the time frames and did the receipts for proof. He was a stand up guy in this regard; I would NEVER have even thought of screwing him over something like this.

OP - in your case, you have a court ordered amount. You have proof of sending the money. There is a pattern there. Not everyone is out for blood.
 

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