Paying expenses for 21 year old child.

[Ohiogal]

In my divorce decree, in addition to paying child support for my minor children I also agreed to pay for 50% of my 19 year old child's car payment, cell phone bill, car insurance and sarority dues. We did not put in the decree when these responsibilities would end. My child is now 21 years old finishing up their last semester of college. They live with their boyfriend in a house they rent together and made about $20000 working part time while going to school. Now I am being forced to go to court to defend myself in contempt charges filed by the mother because I stopped making those payments because I feel they are a grown adult with money of their own to pay those expenses on their own. What do I need to do to clear myself from legally having to continue the payments that are ordered in my divorce decree. The mother has told me I will always have to pay them because the court oder does not say they end at a certain age.

Whose idea was it to put in the divorce decree that you would pay those items? Who wrote the decree? In what state are you located?

 

[Bkeel]

We both agreed on it at the time but I never thought about specifying a stopping point. Our attorneys handled everything in South Carolina.

 

[Bkeel]

To make things even more complicated regarding the car payments...that car was financed in my ex father in laws name and we were responsible for the payment. We could not afford to make the payments on time and the car was repossessed a few weeks before the divorce was final. Against my wishes he took out a personal loan and paid the car off to get it back. They got me to sign a peice of paper saying I was going to make payments to them for 50% of the loan in which those payments were even higher than the orginal payments. I was employed with him at the time and felt I really didnt have any other choice. I have only made 1 payment to them 2 years ago and that is part of what my ex wife has taken me to court for. It seems like there should be some laws regarding the legality of that paper ai signed but seems in family court none of that matters.

 

[Silverplum]

To make things even more complicated regarding the car payments...that car was financed in my ex father in laws name and we were responsible for the payment. We could not afford to make the payments on time and the car was repossessed a few weeks before the divorce was final. Against my wishes he took out a personal loan and paid the car off to get it back. They got me to sign a peice of paper saying I was going to make payments to them for 50% of the loan in which those payments were even higher than the orginal payments. I was employed with him at the time and felt I really didnt have any other choice. I have only made 1 payment to them 2 years ago and that is part of what my ex wife has taken me to court for. It seems like there should be some laws regarding the legality of that paper ai signed but seems in family court none of that matters.

What types of laws should regard the legality of the paper you signed?

 

[stealth2]

To make things even more complicated regarding the car payments...that car was financed in my ex father in laws name and we were responsible for the payment. We could not afford to make the payments on time and the car was repossessed a few weeks before the divorce was final. Against my wishes he took out a personal loan and paid the car off to get it back. They got me to sign a peice of paper saying I was going to make payments to them for 50% of the loan in which those payments were even higher than the orginal payments. I was employed with him at the time and felt I really didnt have any other choice. I have only made 1 payment to them 2 years ago and that is part of what my ex wife has taken me to court for. It seems like there should be some laws regarding the legality of that paper ai signed but seems in family court none of that matters.

So, really..... It's not the 21yo you resent having to help, it's having to repay your ex FIL for helping the kid out. Nice.

 

[justalayman]

There all sorts of laws but none of them would have prevented you from being foolish enough to agree to what you did. This one is entirely on you. A person can do any dumb thing they want. In fact it would generally be illegal to prevent them from doing any dumb thing they want to do.

 

[Bkeel]

The ex is not paying anything for the car because its her parents that took out the loan. And she is not paying my part of the loan either. I guess basically her parents are having her take me to court so they can get their money from me. If I have to pay it then I get that but my question is how do I get out of payiing for all of my 21 yr old daughters bills for the rest of her life. She is a self sufficient adult now and surely there is something I can do to file with the court to show this and have it modified.

 

[Bkeel]

es of laws should regard the legality of the paper you signed?

I don't know what kind of laws...that is why I am on this forum. It just seems there would some issue with a car loan being initiated with a hand written peice of paper.

 

[Zigner]

I don't know what kind of laws...that is why I am on this forum. It just seems there would some issue with a car loan being initiated with a hand written peice of paper.

Too bad you didn't think of that BEFORE you agreed to be ordered by the court to pay it.

This isn't about a car loan, this is about a court order for you to pay money. You may need to return to court on this one...at the very least, consult with a local attorney who can help you unscrew yourself from the spot your screwed yourself in to.

 

[Just Blue]

Too bad you didn't think of that BEFORE you agreed to be ordered by the court to pay it.

This isn't about a car loan, this is about a court order for you to pay money. You may need to return to court on this one...at the very least, consult with a local attorney who can help you unscrew yourself from the spot your screwed yourself in to.

Yup...OP NEEDS to go to court.

 

[justalayman]

I don't know what kind of laws...that is why I am on this forum. It just seems there would some issue with a car loan being initiated with a hand written peice of paper.

Well, actuslly no. That is what is often referred to as a written contract or agreement. So much easier to prove and enforce to a verbal agreement or contract. It being handwritten actuslly strengthens the agreement as the writing is evidence of at least one of the parties involved and the style and form can be used to show a lack of duress.

Anything else you have that might strengthen the case against you?

The HUGE issue you have is the agreement to pay may be inextricably intertwined with the other issues within the divorce agreement that invalidating that requirement could create unsolvable issues regarding other matters within the decree.

An example would be that in exchange for you paying for the car the ex allowed you to keep something. First, it is near impossible unless specified as an actual tit for tat exchange to identify what you recieved in exchange for you agreeing to pay for the car. The decree is taken as a whole. You are attempting to parse it into individual elements. That may not be possible.

I would suggest you consider what you are willing to offer in exchange for the voiding of the requirement to pay for the car. It is inequitable to demand you benefit from a change without equal consideration afforded the other party.

 

[Silverplum]

I don't know what kind of laws...that is why I am on this forum. It just seems there would some issue with a car loan being initiated with a hand written peice of paper.

So you think there are, or should be, laws against paperwork that is not typed.

There's always something new.

 

[stealth2]

Out of curiosity - how much of her education have you helped with?

 

[Bkeel]

We haven't had to pay a whole lot out of pocket. At most about $2000 each after scholarships, grants and loans.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You are blessed. I have one costing us more than double that, while the other has almost a full ride.