I recently found out I have a child in Utah. The state wants $600 a month in child support plus add the child to my health insurance. To them its all numbers, but if I have to pay that I won't be able to live. I won't be able to have a family of my own with my fiance or pay for plane tickets to see my daughter that lives in another state that I have a wonderful relationship with. This child was raised by another man, I have no connection. The only reason I know about him is because his mother wanted me to sign away rights so that her husband could adopt. Now they're getting a divorce and I have no options. He was born before they were married so there's nothing that can be done that way. If my fiance leaves me over this. I won't be able to go on. She's my life and I'm panicking. She knows about everything, I haven't hid anything. She doesn't know if she wants to be with me now. If she leaves, I'll lose her, our house, and my job since I have nowhere to go and would have to move in with family in another state. I would never be able to pay all the child support... I'm so lost
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Please help with my options, my life is falling apart
- Thread starter red001
- Start date
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Silverplum
Senior Member
I don't know what to tell you. You're correct, in part: it is just numbers. Do you know what the numbers are for? Money to help support your child.
Did you show up or send an attorney to the hearing? Did you send them your complete income statements?
They have my wage information. There hasn't been a hearing. It's through human services not through a court because she was on medicaid. They will issue an order though. As far as I know its all just child support. They said I can plead my case but I know that they base it off of incomes and their calculations and me pooring my heart out pleading for a chance to have a family won't matter. They didn't care that I already pay child support and barely knocked anything off what they want. It was hard enough finding out I had another child, but I just can't believe what's happening.
Zigner
Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Is the child yours?
Yes, I had a paternity test. In the time it took to get results back so I could sign rights away for an adoption, they are getting a divorce.
Silverplum
Senior Member
You do have a family. Two or three of them, depending upon how you define "family."
Silverplum
Senior Member
Well, then, you do have another child to support.
That's not how I define family. I may be the biological father, but I'm not the child's dad. And I won't be able to handle never seeing my daughter.
single317dad
Senior Member
If it's not through a court, there isn't an order.
My advice for your current situation is to use the Utah child support calculator:
https://www.utcourts.gov/childsupport/calculator
to determine the correct amount of child support you owe. If the amount from the calculator varies significantly from the amount the State is asking for, you should argue your case in court. Don't forget to include the arrears that are probably accruing right now, from the date the case was originally filed. An attorney can be quite helpful for that, and though the cost might be significant, it could save you a lot of money in the long run. I also recommend you begin to establish a relationship with your child now, as this must be a very difficult time for the child.
Going forward, I recommend you use whatever means necessary to avoid creating children you can't support. Good luck to you.
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Silverplum
Senior Member
I'm sure you'll work something out. Take the time to do so, research options, take one step at a time.
In the meantime, there's a second child out there, your blood, and he needs to eat and have shoes and stuff like that.
This bomb was just dropped on me. I had no idea this child even existed. I had no intention of having a child I couldn't support. Now my life is disintegrating. Why would I want anything to do with this child that I have no connection with when it means I would lose my daughter? If I have to pick I'm picking my daughter. So that's why I came here looking for advice. Thank you for the link, but I need a way to not have all of my income taken so that I can still see her and have a family with the woman that I love. I need options. I am planning on paying now, but would prefer a realistic amount.
TheGeekess
Keeper of the Kraken
Get a better paying job, then. Have the 'woman you love' get a job. I think you've got enough 'family'.
Silverplum
Senior Member
You've already exercised your "options" in the arena of having children. There are no further "options." This is a legal matter, and the numbers are the numbers.
This is all I have left for you, and I mean it sincerely: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-8255.
If I get a better job then I pay more. If I get a second job I pay more. She does work. Obviously you've never made a mistake.Get a better paying job, then. Have the 'woman you love' get a job. I think you've got enough 'family'.
Silverplum
Senior Member
Well, then.
(Of course you're wrong about that, too: http://le.utah.gov/code/TITLE78B/htm/78B12_020300.htm)
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