Please Help! Part time worker and in NY

[rfrier]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Im enrolled in a lpn program that starts in september. I am working part time (hours at work reduced) and barely made enough to pay my rent and save for the classes im taking now. My child's mother was on temporary assistance while out of work.
We agreed on an amount that i give her, and i also bought all of our baby clothes and diapers. Social services required her to take me for child support. She gave them the agreement we both had, and told them that I do everything to try to support our child.
She is now no longer on temporary assistance but the court case is coming up. Will I be ordered to pay back pay to social services? I claimed our child on my taxes, our child is with me 4 days a week while her mother is in school.
Unfortunately I received an eviction notice today, my rent arrears are not so good since my hours were decreased to part time. I have not been able to find a place that will allow me to rent a room in my budget. I am not trying to get out of taking care of my child, but I am afraid that I will have more debt with the back pay. Please if anyone that knows how it works can help me.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Im enrolled in a lpn program that starts in september. I am working part time (hours at work reduced) and barely made enough to pay my rent and save for the classes im taking now. My child's mother was on temporary assistance while out of work.
We agreed on an amount that i give her, and i also bought all of our baby clothes and diapers. Social services required her to take me for child support. She gave them the agreement we both had, and told them that I do everything to try to support our child.
She is now no longer on temporary assistance but the court case is coming up. Will I be ordered to pay back pay to social services? I claimed our child on my taxes, our child is with me 4 days a week while her mother is in school.
Unfortunately I received an eviction notice today, my rent arrears are not so good since my hours were decreased to part time. I have not been able to find a place that will allow me to rent a room in my budget. I am not trying to get out of taking care of my child, but I am afraid that I will have more debt with the back pay. Please if anyone that knows how it works can help me.

Generally yes, you are responsible for reimbursing the state. The taxpayers tend to get a bit peeved when they're supporting a child not their own.

The thing about child support is that it's meant to be right near the top of the priority list. Is there a reason you're not working full time? NY takes a straight percentage of the NCP's income, but I have a question.

Does the child actually spend four nights with you?

 

[rfrier]

Generally yes, you are responsible for reimbursing the state. The taxpayers tend to get a bit peeved when they're supporting a child not their own.

The thing about child support is that it's meant to be right near the top of the priority list. Is there a reason you're not working full time? NY takes a straight percentage of the NCP's income, but I have a question.

Does the child actually spend four nights with you?

Thank you for responding!
Yes there is a reason, my hours were cut at work. Last year I had a full time job and then the place went bankrupt so I was able to find this job. Earlier this year they began cutting everyones hours and I have not been able to find full time work. I take public transportation and all the places I qualify for require someone that has a car. (maybe because public transportation isn't reliable)
My hours being cut at work really messed me up because I expected to have saved enough money to support my daughter, pay my rent and save for school. If I owe back rent and I am possibly going to be evicted, how can they take money that I do not have?
What I also don't understand is why they are coming after me if I gave social services a letter stating the agreement between my daughters mother and I.

And yes my daughter really is with me 4 nights out of the week because her mother is having issues at her apartment. Her mother gets food stamps and sends food while my daughter is with me. She feels awful about the whole situation because there is no doubt that I don't do everything in my power to try to help out with my daughter. I don't know if her vouching in court will help or not. Right now I go to school in the afternoon (I paid out of pocket for the 7 credits I am taking) and then I pay someone from church to keep my daughter during that time and she returns to her mom the other days.

I am really afraid for the court date and it sucks that we are both struggling college students, trying our best to raise a child. I know my daughter is my responsibility and I am working toward getting a degree so that she will not have the same financial worries I am having.

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you for responding!
Yes there is a reason, my hours were cut at work. Last year I had a full time job and then the place went bankrupt so I was able to find this job. Earlier this year they began cutting everyones hours and I have not been able to find full time work. I take public transportation and all the places I qualify for require someone that has a car. (maybe because public transportation isn't reliable)
My hours being cut at work really messed me up because I expected to have saved enough money to support my daughter, pay my rent and save for school. If I owe back rent and I am possibly going to be evicted, how can they take money that I do not have?
What I also don't understand is why they are coming after me if I gave social services a letter stating the agreement between my daughters mother and I.

And yes my daughter really is with me 4 nights out of the week because her mother is having issues at her apartment. Her mother gets food stamps and sends food while my daughter is with me. She feels awful about the whole situation because there is no doubt that I don't do everything in my power to try to help out with my daughter. I don't know if her vouching in court will help or not. Right now I go to school in the afternoon (I paid out of pocket for the 7 credits I am taking) and then I pay someone from church to keep my daughter during that time and she returns to her mom the other days.

I am really afraid for the court date and it sucks that we are both struggling college students, trying our best to raise a child. I know my daughter is my responsibility and I am working toward getting a degree so that she will not have the same financial worries I am having.

It sucks? You and Mom chose this!

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for responding!
Yes there is a reason, my hours were cut at work. Last year I had a full time job and then the place went bankrupt so I was able to find this job. Earlier this year they began cutting everyones hours and I have not been able to find full time work. I take public transportation and all the places I qualify for require someone that has a car. (maybe because public transportation isn't reliable)
My hours being cut at work really messed me up because I expected to have saved enough money to support my daughter, pay my rent and save for school. If I owe back rent and I am possibly going to be evicted, how can they take money that I do not have?
What I also don't understand is why they are coming after me if I gave social services a letter stating the agreement between my daughters mother and I.

Because the STATE supported your child - they want their money back!

And yes my daughter really is with me 4 nights out of the week because her mother is having issues at her apartment. Her mother gets food stamps and sends food while my daughter is with me. She feels awful about the whole situation because there is no doubt that I don't do everything in my power to try to help out with my daughter. I don't know if her vouching in court will help or not. Right now I go to school in the afternoon (I paid out of pocket for the 7 credits I am taking) and then I pay someone from church to keep my daughter during that time and she returns to her mom the other days.

I am really afraid for the court date and it sucks that we are both struggling college students, trying our best to raise a child. I know my daughter is my responsibility and I am working toward getting a degree so that she will not have the same financial worries I am having.

Well, you're about to be homeless and Mom is also not doing too well - I have a very serious question to ask.


I know you won't like this - but have you and Mom discussed adoption?

 

[rfrier]

It sucks? You and Mom chose this!

Well apparently the cost of living where you are is really low. But that is not the case in New York. I am only requesting support, but thank you for stating the obvious.

By the way, her mom has a health condition where as she is not even supposed to be able to conceive. This wasn't "chosen" or planned but we are dealing with the situation as it is. If you don't have any positive advice, please just dismiss yourself

 

[Ladyback1]

What I also don't understand is why they are coming after me if I gave social services a letter stating the agreement between my daughters mother and I.

Because your agreement wasn't COURT approved.
Was there ever anything regarding custody, support, etc. handled or settled in court?

 

[Silverplum]

Well apparently the cost of living where you are is really low. But that is not the case in New York. I am only requesting support, but thank you for stating the obvious.

By the way, her mom has a health condition where as she is not even supposed to be able to conceive. This wasn't "chosen" or planned but we are dealing with the situation as it is. If you don't have any positive advice, please just dismiss yourself

Oh, dear, I have to educate yet another college student.

Pregnancy = 9 months. Let's call that time period "Time To Make New Plans."

Baby = Here now, alive, present, needy, and expensive

Your life and Mom's life = Now changed by Baby

Choosing to pay for school instead of supporting Baby = Not having one's priorities in proper order. Obviously.

The State = Will recover the funds the taxpayers spent paying for Baby while you made decisions that led your child to be unsupported.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well apparently the cost of living where you are is really low. But that is not the case in New York. I am only requesting support, but thank you for stating the obvious.

By the way, her mom has a health condition where as she is not even supposed to be able to conceive. This wasn't "chosen" or planned but we are dealing with the situation as it is. If you don't have any positive advice, please just dismiss yourself

Yes this was chosen. It was chosen when you had sex because as most kids know, sex creates babies. You made the choice to have sex. Mom then made the choice to carry the baby to term. Then, you both have made choices consistently that are impacting this -- work comes BEFORE school because you have a child to raise and support.

By the way, being rude to those on here is not going to get you anywhere.

 

[stealth2]

I would seriously suggest speaking with the school about deferring your enrollment. While furthering your education is a laudable goal, you no longer have the luxury of not working FT - either of you. If you can't find one FT job, you should be actively seeking another PT one. Your child comes first.

And please - no more unprotected sex. It is as much on you as it is on your partner to manage your (respective) reproductive lives. "She wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant" isn't an excuse for not protecting yourself. Nothing is 100% except not physically having the parts in your body. Not to mention all of the diseases out there (oops, guess that mentions them...). Seriously - no condom/spermicide? No nookies.

p.s, if you can't pay as ordered? Arrears will build up (w/interest), and they will not go away. Mom can't waive them.

 

[commentator]

If your hours at work have been cut back, have you filed for partial unemployment benefits? You may or may not qualify, based on how many hours worth of gross wages you are making a week (regardless of how you are paid) but anytime you are not working as many hours and making at least as much as you could draw in weekly unemployment benefits, you can qualify for "partial" benefits, which means they allow you to work all the hours your employer has for you and sometimes still draw part of your unemployment weekly check. This would definitely help if your hours have been cut this severely. That's what unemployment benefits are for. File a claim for those to see if you qualify.

Also, if you are going to LPN school in September, there are still several weeks in the next few months you may be able to pick up some part time or temp work somewhere else. What do you mean about "saving money for school"? Most LPN courses come with some degree of support and assistance, unless you're going to some sort of medical college where you get student loans to pay for the school and they overcharge you at the government's expense. How is this situation going to work? How are you going to get back and forth to school in September if you don't have any transportation?

Your huge mistake, of course, was to try to run this situation without the approval of the courts in the first place. As your girlfriend "chose life" you should immediately have either married her or gotten things set up where you were determined as the father as soon as the child was born and paying support legally through the court approved agreement. You guys sound like you are really struggling with how things work in the system, I suggest you talk with Legal Aide in your area soon to get some help in dealing with it.

Don't sound so injured and anti-government. "Why they are coming after me?" is because your girlfriend got temporary assistance, that's what is required even before you can get temporary assistance of any kind. I gather that she got another job if you are keeping the baby four days a week Correct? But when you start receiving assistance, that's what they do. They expect you to use your income first to support the child, then to "save for school" maintain your budget, etc. If your hours get cut, you sign up for partial unemployment, you look for a job with more hours, you deal with it. Worrying about it isn't productive. Producing more income from somewhere, and getting your child support arrangements set up legally is.

 

[rfrier]

Oh, dear, I have to educate yet another college student.

Pregnancy = 9 months. Let's call that time period "Time To Make New Plans."

Baby = Here now, alive, present, needy, and expensive

Your life and Mom's life = Now changed by Baby

Choosing to pay for school instead of supporting Baby = Not having one's priorities in proper order. Obviously.

The State = Will recover the funds the taxpayers spent paying for Baby while you made decisions that led your child to be unsupported.

Good evening to u. I was able to pull a double at work so that really helped me out. Back to the subject, while you did break down something, I think I have to break it down even further for you. I never said the specifics of my situation because I was going on the present.

Here goes:

Pregnancy 6 1/2 months 29 weeks and 2 days to be exact
Preemie = NICU, hospital bill = over 200k (this is just for NICU)

Myself & mom life changed: well yea.. I was an assistant manager of a private company making a great deal of $, paid the hospital bills, doctors appointments, etc I had to miss a lot, and I mean a LOT of work because mom has autoimmune disease had eclampsia, seizure episodes etc etc

Mom was working full time while pregnant but was not with her job as long as I was. Mom was also a part time student. She has her BA in political science, minor in business, and a masters in public policy. Mom was working on masters in OT (occupational therapy) while pregnant (first couple months) but withdrew to work and save for the baby (not to mention the fact that she was being seen twice weekly by doctors and it was time consuming)

Mom and I were initially engaged until 2012, married in the Caribbean. Conceived our first set of twins on that Caribbean vacation. Came back to states to make it legal, mom had to be hospitalized for her autoimmune disease. Fast forward months later, we lose the babies, mom is so down that she does not want to proceed with legalizing our marriage in US because she thinks she is holding me back from having a happy life and family. Mom breaks off what US only considered to be an engagement.
Mom gets help for ppd, I ask her to marry me (again, but without the ring this time lol) we conceive. After all is said is done, mom and I are taking it slow, but I do hope that we plan to (re)marry in the future because she is an amazing woman. I don't care if we can't have more children together because I have my preemie warrior daughter.

I did not attend school that entire time. My plan was to stay with the company and rack up on $. I lost my house in Freeport during our superstorm sandy and also my car but we are still fighting for what is owed to us on that segment, as far as the flood insurance so I won't get into that.

My payout from the job that went bankrupt was HEFTY! Like I said, a 200K hospital bill, sick child, it all added up. Not to mention my car note (I waited too long to get something more affordable, that is my fault for liking nice cars lol)

Choosing to pay for school instead of taking care of my daughter: completely wrong.. I chose work instead of school and this is probably I'm in this predicament. I have my Associates but probably having the BS in my field would've opened up more doors.

All in all, mom was on temp assistance for maybe 4 months. The other person is right, I can't worry. And yes I did try to do part time unemployment but did not qualify because I was new to this job. It was considered a no-frills position.
I'm doing the program later this year because it is something fast that will help me make $ to support my situation now, the program is under a year. Once I save enough I will get my BS in the field I really want to be in (health administration) but what will be cool is that the job I attain after I graduate will pay for every cent of it, because it's still in the heathcare industry.

The state: ehh the state could be a little on the 😷 side, but I assumed our situation was a little different. You all are showing me it is not so I have to accept what may happen.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll have more debt probably paying them back but in less than a year, things will drastically change for the better.

My landlord is trying to evict me but I am going to do my best to work something out. Mom and I used to live together, after the renos are done in the condo she's in, I will probably have to go back there. Between now and end of August, I will be looking for even temporary work to pay my landlord back rent and possibly pay back the state. When mom gets rid of her debt, I'm sure she will even help pay the state back. She is not the type to ask for help or accept hand outs, neither am I but sometimes u have to swallow your pride and do it. She suggested that I pawn the engagement ring, but I have not decided.

Adoption is not an option, us being a successful family is are only option.

Thanks everyone for the advice, again, I feel better going in now, knowing what may happen.

 

[rfrier]

I would seriously suggest speaking with the school about deferring your enrollment. While furthering your education is a laudable goal, you no longer have the luxury of not working FT - either of you. If you can't find one FT job, you should be actively seeking another PT one. Your child comes first.

And please - no more unprotected sex. It is as much on you as it is on your partner to manage your (respective) reproductive lives. "She wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant" isn't an excuse for not protecting yourself. Nothing is 100% except not physically having the parts in your body. Not to mention all of the diseases out there (oops, guess that mentions them...). Seriously - no condom/spermicide? No nookies.

p.s, if you can't pay as ordered? Arrears will build up (w/interest), and they will not go away. Mom can't waive them.

Thank you, I responded above, I did not know how to add you to it

 

[rfrier]

If your hours at work have been cut back, have you filed for partial unemployment benefits? You may or may not qualify, based on how many hours worth of gross wages you are making a week (regardless of how you are paid) but anytime you are not working as many hours and making at least as much as you could draw in weekly unemployment benefits, you can qualify for "partial" benefits, which means they allow you to work all the hours your employer has for you and sometimes still draw part of your unemployment weekly check. This would definitely help if your hours have been cut this severely. That's what unemployment benefits are for. File a claim for those to see if you qualify.

Also, if you are going to LPN school in September, there are still several weeks in the next few months you may be able to pick up some part time or temp work somewhere else. What do you mean about "saving money for school"? Most LPN courses come with some degree of support and assistance, unless you're going to some sort of medical college where you get student loans to pay for the school and they overcharge you at the government's expense. How is this situation going to work? How are you going to get back and forth to school in September if you don't have any transportation?

Your huge mistake, of course, was to try to run this situation without the approval of the courts in the first place. As your girlfriend "chose life" you should immediately have either married her or gotten things set up where you were determined as the father as soon as the child was born and paying support legally through the court approved agreement. You guys sound like you are really struggling with how things work in the system, I suggest you talk with Legal Aide in your area soon to get some help in dealing with it.

Don't sound so injured and anti-government. "Why they are coming after me?" is because your girlfriend got temporary assistance, that's what is required even before you can get temporary assistance of any kind. I gather that she got another job if you are keeping the baby four days a week Correct? But when you start receiving assistance, that's what they do. They expect you to use your income first to support the child, then to "save for school" maintain your budget, etc. If your hours get cut, you sign up for partial unemployment, you look for a job with more hours, you deal with it. Worrying about it isn't productive. Producing more income from somewhere, and getting your child support arrangements set up legally is.

You're right, I wasn't aware that our agreement was not considered binding. And I did actually use my income to take care of my daughter.

 

[rfrier]

Because the STATE supported your child - they want their money back!



Well, you're about to be homeless and Mom is also not doing too well - I have a very serious question to ask.


I know you won't like this - but have you and Mom discussed adoption?

Thanks for the response, please read the above message