+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 33
  1. #1
    adrisdale is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    3

    Points of proving Best Interest of Child in Forced Name Change

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

    What are some pointers that I could possibly bring out to prove that my 6 week old son should continue to have my last name. Factors to consider are that Father was given an opportunity to sign birth certificate, but did not (I have written documentation to verify), Father resides in Atltanta, GA. I will be the one responsible for handling all the affairs of the child.

    Any thoughts you have will help. I don't want to have to change my child's name when I gave the father the opportunity before i got all the affairs in order. Affairs like registereing for medical insurance, daycare, social security card, birth certificate.

    Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. #2
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,370
    How old is this child? Are they having to relearn their last name because they are in school?

    Really, what's in a name? Yeah, it's a pain to change names on a variety of paperwork, but once it's done, it's done.

    If YOU, OP, were to get married, would you change your name? If so, then your child still wouldn't have your last name.
  3. #3
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
    Posts
    13,441
    Quote Originally Posted by adrisdale View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

    What are some pointers that I could possibly bring out to prove that my 6 week old son should continue to have my last name.
    The child is 6 weeks old. There is absolutely nothing you can say to convince me that a child who doesn't even KNOW his name should keep it.
    Factors to consider are that Father was given an opportunity to sign birth certificate, but did not (I have written documentation to verify)
    ,
    If "father" (is this the LEGAL father of this child) had any doubt in his mind that this child was not his, he should NOT have signed the declaration of paternity. In fact, he was SMART not to sign it if he wanted a DNA test.
    Father resides in Atltanta, GA.
    Irrelevant
    I will be the one responsible for handling all the affairs of the child.
    Maybe, but if he gets joint legal custody, you will be making those decisions TOGETHER.
    Any thoughts you have will help.
    Next time you want a hand in everything concerning a child, have one by yourself.
    I don't want to have to change my child's name when I gave the father the opportunity before i got all the affairs in order.
    Apparently, he had doubts as to the paternity of the child. SMART MOVE once again, on his part.
    Affairs like registereing for medical insurance, daycare, social security card, birth certificate.
    Yeah, all those things are EASILY changed. I just did it for my 12 year old and it didn't take me much more than a day or 2 to do it ALL, and I guarantee you at 12, there were many MORE things to change than a child that just got here 45 days ago.
  4. #4
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
    Posts
    13,441
    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny J View Post
    How old is this child?
    6 weeks old...
    Are they having to relearn their last name because they are in school?
    Shoot, he doesn't even KNOW his name yet. I don't even think he realizes he HAS a name.

    If YOU, OP, were to get married, would you change your name? If so, then your child still wouldn't have your last name.
    Yeah, but then it would be her HUSBAND... the father of her child is hardly as important as the person she's currently sleeping with.
  5. #5
    tiredofdrama is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    159
    Okay, I'm already annoyed so . . .

    What does a name change have to do with Child Support?

    Why are you even worried about this if he didn't sign the birth certificate?

    I could be wrong, but could it be that you are trying to get child support from this guy, so you are ordering a paternity test to be done, but when (or if) he is found to be the father and is ordered to pay child support, you don't want the child to have your last name? Does that sound about right?

    Filling out the paperwork to change a name is really not that much of a hassle. If you think that is too much work, you ain't seen nothing yet. You are a parent now! Get used to everything not being about you!
  6. #6
    wnbama is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Sweet Home ALABAMA
    Posts
    370
    Quote Originally Posted by adrisdale View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

    What are some pointers that I could possibly bring out to prove that my 6 week old son should continue to have my last name. Factors to consider are that Father was given an opportunity to sign birth certificate, but did not (I have written documentation to verify), Father resides in Atltanta, GA. I will be the one responsible for handling all the affairs of the child.
    Any thoughts you have will help. I don't want to have to change my child's name when I gave the father the opportunity before i got all the affairs in order. Affairs like registereing for medical insurance, daycare, social security card, birth certificate.

    Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You know what it's not that hard to change your name on documents like those, you send them a copy of the CO name change and the correct form(s) and poof...it's done. I would rather do it at 6 wks instead of 6 yrs, there's alot more to change at 6 yrs then at 6 wks.

    I would think IF you fight this and it gets in front of a Judge, he might think you are being an A$$, why not just hyphenate (sp?) it? [ex: John Micheal Jones-Smith], then it carries both the names?
  7. #7
    qurice is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    480
    I just went through this with my 6 and (soon to be) 5 yr old. Once it was ordered for the names to change, their Mom left it up to me to get it all taken care of.

    A change is going to happen if Dad persues it. Why not go along if he agrees to pick up the tab on all the fees to get it done.

    Honestly OP, no one should be expected to sign an AOP/BC without DNA testing. You know the child is yours, how else is he supposed to know?
  8. #8
    penelope10 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,509
    Without going into a whole lot of history, my older two children never had their last name changed from my first husband's to OZ's. OZ and I went through a lot of years being called Mr. and Mrs. Y by the kid's friends and teachers when our names were actually Mr. and Mrs. X. (We never corrected these folks either---why create more confusion?) The kids were already in school and were already known by the last name of Y.

    Ours was a bit of an unusual case, however, I will say that if this man ends up being legal Dad, and the kiddo could end up with a name change, it's best to do it before school age rather than later.

    Personally I don't much like hyphenated last names. (Simply because of the fact that I used to be in a credit driven industry. Hyphenated last names used to cause havoc with the credit bureaus. Perhaps because it is more common now the situation is not the same).
    Last edited by penelope10; 08-13-2008 at 01:05 PM.
  9. #9
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,865
    Personally, I think its antiquated to think that a child should automatically have the father's last name. Yes, that is a cultural thing, but it has gone away in much of the rest of the civilized world. In fact, in many European countries women aren't even permitted to take their husband's last name, and name changes aren't permitted at all.

    In all of the spanish speaking world, which is a large portion of the world's population, all people have two last names, that of the mother, and that of their father.

    I think that the child should have the last name of the parent with whom the child will primarily reside, or a hyphenated last name, and once the child is old enough to have their identity established in their own mind, it should not be changed.
  10. #10
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
    Posts
    13,441
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Personally, I think its antiquated to think that a child should automatically have the father's last name.
    But it's not automatic that a child have the father's last name. The mother ALWAYS automatically has the right to name the child. In cases of unmarried parents, if dad wants to (God forbid) have his child that he has to pay for and support have his last name, he has to go to court for it unless mom agrees.
    Yes, that is a cultural thing, but it has gone away in much of the rest of the civilized world. In fact, in many European countries women aren't even permitted to take their husband's last name, and name changes aren't permitted at all.
    But we aren't in Europe...
    In all of the spanish speaking world, which is a large portion of the world's population, all people have two last names, that of the mother, and that of their father.
    Nor are we in Latin America... and it doesn't seem that these people are eitehr.
    I think that the child should have the last name of the parent with whom the child will primarily reside,
    How do we determine that if the parents are a couple when the child is born. What happens if a year or two down the line custody changes for whatever reason? Do we then change the child's name?
    or a hyphenated last name,
    There's an option.
    and once the child is old enough to have their identity established in their own mind, it should not be changed.
    Well there's where we disagree, because as I have stated, I had Stink's last name changed at 12... well after his identity was established. The only thing that changed about his was his name... he's still the same kid.
  11. #11
    penelope10 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,509
    I graduated from college in El Paso. Many of the kiddos not only had the last name of both Mom and Dad, they had multiple middle names, for instance: Mary Louisa Fatima Consuela Gonzalez Hernandez. Most of these kids in every day life would go by a much simpler name like Mary Hernandez. No mention of the multiple names unless it was during an important ceremony like college graduation.

    Like I said, if there is going to a last name change I believe it's much less complicated that it be done before school starts.However, this is just an IMO.
    Last edited by penelope10; 08-13-2008 at 01:45 PM.
  12. #12
    qurice is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    480
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    I think that the child should have the last name of the parent with whom the child will primarily reside, or a hyphenated last name, and once the child is old enough to have their identity established in their own mind, it should not be changed.
    Which is another reason why OP doesn't have a valid arguement to NOT change it at this point.

    I was adopted by my stepfather as a young child. Eventhough I have an iffy relationship with my bio father, as an adult I decided to change my name back to my given birth name because *for me* it was part of my identity whether I liked it or not.

    Just like when kids want to pick the parent to live with, they can make the choice at 18.
  13. #13
    proud_parent is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Stranded
    Posts
    2,567
    Responding O/T:

    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    once the child is old enough to have their identity established in their own mind, it should not be changed.
    That position would tend to support dropping the antiquated practice of brides adopting their grooms' surnames, wouldn't it? Hey, I'm all for that! I kept my maiden name -- though hubby and I did bow to convention in giving our kiddo her father's surname.

    Speaking of cultural practices, I've noted an emerging trend of bride and groom each adopting the other's surname as their new combined surname. I rather like that idea, even though it does set up future generations for the paperwork headache of having to combine many multiple last names. (That's for the kids to worry about when the time comes, right? Maybe by then the accepted practice will be to refer to all persons by serial number. )

    [/end hijack]

    At any rate, I don't think any argument that this vs. that name better serves the best interest of the child will hold up in court. It all boils down to an administrative matter. There haven't (to my knowledge) been any empirical studies to support a conclusion sharing or not sharing a parent's last name has any effect on attachment. Kiddos need to know and to respect both Mommy and Daddy, last names be darned.
  14. #14
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,865
    Quote Originally Posted by proud_parent View Post
    Responding O/T:



    That position would tend to support dropping the antiquated practice of brides adopting their grooms' surnames, wouldn't it? Hey, I'm all for that! I kept my maiden name -- though hubby and I did bow to convention in giving our kiddo her father's surname.

    Speaking of cultural practices, I've noted an emerging trend of bride and groom each adopting the other's surname as their new combined surname. I rather like that idea, even though it does set up future generations for the paperwork headache of having to combine many multiple last names. (That's for the kids to worry about when the time comes, right? Maybe by then the accepted practice will be to refer to all persons by serial number. )

    [/end hijack]

    At any rate, I don't think any argument that this vs. that name better serves the best interest of the child will hold up in court. It all boils down to an administrative matter. There haven't (to my knowledge) been any empirical studies to support a conclusion sharing or not sharing a parent's last name has any effect on attachment. Kiddos need to know and to respect both Mommy and Daddy, last names be darned.
    It has zero effect on attachment. What it does have an effect on is daily personal business. The constant need to prove its your child, which tends not to get asked if the child has your same last name.

    With the multiple name bit...here is how they do it in many latin american countries.

    Moms name is Smith Jones
    Dads name is Doe Edwards

    The child's last name is Doe Smith

    Since everyone's names are this way, married or not married, its all very standard.

    Now in Italy, the last name that you are given at birth, is the last name that you have for the rest of your life as well. Changes are not permitted. However, kids born of a marriage are given their father's last name. Kids not born of a marriage are not. However, you really see very few unwed mothers there. Its actually rare to see a family with more than 1 child either or 2 at the max. The cost of living is very expensive there.
  15. #15
    qurice is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    480
    Sorry, I don't think it causes that much of an inconvenience. My wife hyphenated her name when we married and more often than not goes by her maiden name because that's what is on her credit cards. Our son has my last name only and so far no one has given her a hassle about it.

    I love it when people ask for ID when I use my credit card. That means they aren't letting any Joe Schmoe use my stolen cards to buy stuff.

    One example of why we SHOULD welcome other's asking to prove you are the parent before treating or making decisions: [url=http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=424418]Ex and new spouse have same name[/url]

Similar Threads

  1. Proving you WANT to see your child to the courts
    By Trinityb in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-17-2011, 11:14 AM
  2. WINNING CUSTODY CASE, Proving Material change in circumstanc???
    By mommyndaddy in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-19-2008, 10:14 AM
  3. Mortgage Points, Interest, Depreciation
    By laffnatu in forum Tax Law
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-03-2005, 09:38 PM
  4. Forced job change
    By jjessen in forum Job Discrimination and Harassment
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-18-2002, 12:48 PM
  5. Can someone be forced to change name?
    By glh92116 in forum Family Law Archive
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-05-2000, 03:53 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.