Questions about modifications

[amanda pippin]

What is the name of your state? Alabama
I had legal custody of both of our children even though one of them lived with my ex. We had a verbal agreement that he would support one & I would support the other. When my oldest, who lives with me, turned 19, my ex filed for custody of the youngest, who lives with him. He now wants to modify our original legal agreement, which would have me paying support to him.
My question is, since my oldest is a full time college student supported by myself, can I also ask for a modification so that I would still be responsible fully for him, and my ex fully respnsible for my youngest son? Our original papers say nothing about this. They say until the child turns 19, graduates high school, or becomes emancipated in another way. I make about 1/3 as much money as my ex, and child support, plus all of the expenses for my oldest child's education would completely wipe me out financially. I was completely blind-sided by my ex with this. He told me he deliberately waited until our oldest turned 19 to do this, because of what our original papers said. He also plans to ask that I pay support for our younger son until he graduates college. He is now a freshman in high school.
I also have a jugdment against him in court from four years ago for back support that he has never paid. I could file for contempt, but the amount is so large that he would go to jail if I do. I do not want to do this. I know I sound like an ignorant wimp, and I probably am, but I am thinking about what this would do to my kids. I have never said anything bad to them about their father. I know he's an ass, but I think if I influence what they think about him, or if he ends up in jail over this, then I'll be the one that get's the blame later. He is very manipulative with the kids. I always end up being the bad guy. The older one knows better, but the younger one still thinks his dad hung the moon & can do no wrong.
I posted a thread about this earlier, but it was before I knew everything my ex had done and what his future plans were. I am trying to be as logical about this as I can, but my nerves are pretty rattled right now. I need some advice that will give me peace of mind until my lawyer can see me on Wednesday.

Thanks in advance,
Mandy Pippin

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? Alabama
I had legal custody of both of our children even though one of them lived with my ex. We had a verbal agreement that he would support one & I would support the other. When my oldest, who lives with me, turned 19, my ex filed for custody of the youngest, who lives with him. He now wants to modify our original legal agreement, which would have me paying support to him.
My question is, since my oldest is a full time college student supported by myself, can I also ask for a modification so that I would still be responsible fully for him, and my ex fully respnsible for my youngest son? Our original papers say nothing about this. They say until the child turns 19, graduates high school, or becomes emancipated in another way. I make about 1/3 as much money as my ex, and child support, plus all of the expenses for my oldest child's education would completely wipe me out financially. I was completely blind-sided by my ex with this. He told me he deliberately waited until our oldest turned 19 to do this, because of what our original papers said. He also plans to ask that I pay support for our younger son until he graduates college. He is now a freshman in high school.
I also have a jugdment against him in court from four years ago for back support that he has never paid. I could file for contempt, but the amount is so large that he would go to jail if I do. I do not want to do this. I know I sound like an ignorant wimp, and I probably am, but I am thinking about what this would do to my kids. I have never said anything bad to them about their father. I know he's an ass, but I think if I influence what they think about him, or if he ends up in jail over this, then I'll be the one that get's the blame later. He is very manipulative with the kids. I always end up being the bad guy. The older one knows better, but the younger one still thinks his dad hung the moon & can do no wrong.
I posted a thread about this earlier, but it was before I knew everything my ex had done and what his future plans were. I am trying to be as logical about this as I can, but my nerves are pretty rattled right now. I need some advice that will give me peace of mind until my lawyer can see me on Wednesday.

Thanks in advance,
Mandy Pippin

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=320862

doublepost

 

[nextwife]

Having neither of you pay each other CS when you were each supporting one of your two children was logical. Now, you are no longer each supporting a minor child, so it is not unreasonable for the parent who IS still supporting a minor child to recieve CS from the other..

 

[LdiJ]

Having neither of you pay each other CS when you were each supporting one of your two children was logical. Now, you are no longer each supporting a minor child, so it is not unreasonable for the parent who IS still supporting a minor child to recieve CS from the other..

I agree...however, since dad feels that he should have child support through the college years for the younger child, it would only be equitable for responsibility towards the older child to also be ordered/apportioned through the college years.

 

[amanda pippin]

I agree...however, since dad feels that he should have child support through the college years for the younger child, it would only be equitable for responsibility towards the older child to also be ordered/apportioned through the college years.

That was what I was trying to ask. Thanks.. His lawyer told him to wait until after our older son turned 19. He said if he was past the age stated in our original agreement, then it would be too late for me to file for a modification. Is this true? BTW his lawyer is not licensed to practice in Alabama, only Georgia. He has lived in Georgia for 2 years, and tells me he plans to file there. Can he do this? I thought that as long as I still lived in the state where the orginal agreements were filed, then the original state would retain jurisdiction.
And I apologize for the duplicate post. I am new here & thought since custody was no longer the question, then it would fall under the child support forum. sorry..