Relinquishing Parental Rights

[MissyMae]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex-husband and I currently have a custody order in place, as well as child support established (for years now). We have broached the topic of him relinquishing his parental rights as he does not really have any part in our daughter's life. I believe he is looking at this more from a financial standpoint - getting out of paying child support. Can you tell me if there are cases where a NCP can relinquish their parental rights but remain financially responsible for child support (all vonluntary)? Or is the only way for that to happen is for the NCP to simply not have any custody rights, giving sole custody to the CP and therefore the NCP would still pay child support?

Does that all make sense???....

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex-husband and I currently have a custody order in place, as well as child support established (for years now). We have broached the topic of him relinquishing his parental rights as he does not really have any part in our daughter's life. I believe he is looking at this more from a financial standpoint - getting out of paying child support. Can you tell me if there are cases where a NCP can relinquish their parental rights but remain financially responsible for child support (all vonluntary)? Or is the only way for that to happen is for the NCP to simply not have any custody rights, giving sole custody to the CP and therefore the NCP would still pay child support?

Does that all make sense???....

Dad will not be allowed to relinquish anything unless there is a stepfather willing to adopt.

 

[MissyMae]

I have been remarried for several years; my husband would be adopting.

 

[Antigone*]

I have been remarried for several years; my husband would be adopting.

Then dad would no longer be dad and could no longer be held financially responsible.

 

[MissyMae]

Then the only other option, if keeping child support in place, would be to refile custody papers and have me as sole custodian and him w/no custody/visitation. Yes?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex-husband and I currently have a custody order in place, as well as child support established (for years now). We have broached the topic of him relinquishing his parental rights as he does not really have any part in our daughter's life. I believe he is looking at this more from a financial standpoint - getting out of paying child support. Can you tell me if there are cases where a NCP can relinquish their parental rights but remain financially responsible for child support (all vonluntary)? Or is the only way for that to happen is for the NCP to simply not have any custody rights, giving sole custody to the CP and therefore the NCP would still pay child support?

Does that all make sense???....

What do you want to happen?

What does Dad want?

 

[MissyMae]

I would like to be sole custodian - legally and physically. That being said, he was a part of the decision to have children and I think he should still be financially responsible.

What he would like - I'm not real positive yet of his intentions. We are supposed to discuss it; but I am thinking that he is wanting to get out of the financial responsibility portion of it.

 

[Proserpina]

I would like to be sole custodian - legally and physically. That being said, he was a part of the decision to have children and I think he should still be financially responsible.

What he would like - I'm not real positive yet of his intentions. We are supposed to discuss it; but I am thinking that he is wanting to get out of the financial responsibility portion of it.

I just want to make sure that you know that sole custody (even when there's no visitation) does not strip Dad of his rights. He can, and generally will, be allowed to petition for visitation. But that's not what you were getting at, was it? You weren't implying that he should pay but not see the child?

(Just want to make sure I'm understanding)

(and wouldn't it make more sense to do a step-parent adoption? Dad's rights would be terminated, and he'd have no rights to see the child, no obligation to support her, and then your husband could adopt and support you all as a family)

 

[frylover]

What do you want to happen?

What does Dad want?

Maybe I am misunderstanding but it sounds like she wants dad to go away and leave them alone to have a new, happy family.....but keep sending the checks.

Sort of a human ATM machine? That's what my husband's ex wanted HIM to be.

 

[Proserpina]

Maybe I am misunderstanding but it sounds like she wants dad to go away and leave them alone to have a new, happy family.....but keep sending the checks.

Sort of a human ATM machine? That's what my husband's ex wanted HIM to be.

Gosh, I hope not.

That'll be twice in a week I've used up all of my "futile wishes" quota before the weekend.

 

[MissyMae]

Yes, Step-parent adoption would be the best for our family. If that can be agreed on in the end. I just wanted to know what relinquishing intailed; I was not sure if it was simply black & white or more grey.

Appreciate the information and thoughts. Thank you.

 

[MissyMae]

Thank you for the accusation, but no, I am not looking for a human ATM. My husband and I support our family very well and are not relying on child support to keep food on our table.

Do I want my ex out of our lives? Yes, I do. He does more harm than good. He is even aware of it; which is sad.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for the accusation, but no, I am not looking for a human ATM. My husband and I support our family very well and are not relying on child support to keep food on our table.

Do I want my ex out of our lives? Yes, I do. He does more harm than good. He is even aware of it; which is sad.

It's relatively simple - but still, you'd be best advised to get an attorney.

It is usually done as part of one motion - termination of Dad's rights, your husband adopting. If he is reluctant and owes arrears, it's been shown time and time again that forgiving those arrears can be a mighty strong incentive with which to persuade Dad. You can do this pro se, but again I'd recommend an attorney. Just to make sure everything is done right and Dad can't overturn the entire thing on a technicality.

Please forgive the assumptions - unfortunately many of us are very jaded and cynical and though it's no excuse, it's sometimes understandable that a poster's motives may come under question. Sorry.

 

[MissyMae]

I am sometimes quick to judge others as well. Who knows what others' motives are. Thank you for the apology, although not necessary as it was not you.

I do have a referal for an attorney, but had not yet contacted since I am unsure of where my ex wishes to go with this. For my daughters' wellbeing, I am hoping that we can do just that - terminate rights and do the adoption. Has been wanted for a long time now. Thank you again for the information. Has been helpful and given us more to think on.

 

[Proserpina]

I am sometimes quick to judge others as well. Who knows what others' motives are. Thank you for the apology, although not necessary as it was not you.

I do have a referal for an attorney, but had not yet contacted since I am unsure of where my ex wishes to go with this. For my daughters' wellbeing, I am hoping that we can do just that - terminate rights and do the adoption. Has been wanted for a long time now. Thank you again for the information. Has been helpful and given us more to think on.

I hope so too. Good luck, and just holler (well...type) if you have any other questions at all.