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  1. #1
    dolphinlove21 is offline Junior Member
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    Retro child support back to original filing date- divorce not final yet

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IOWA

    I left my husband in January 2010, we filed for divorce in April 2010. He had legal aid through his work, so we were essentially getting a "free" divorce. He was going to the lawyer to have all the paperwork filed, etc, and once the papers were done on his side, I was going to take them to my attorney for a consulation, and just have to pay the consultation fee.

    Well, time passed, deadlines lapsed- due to his lack of getting his stuff turned in. He quit his job, so lost the legal aid, and a few months later, that attorney withdrew as his attorney due to lack of communication.

    He gets a new attorney in November (ish) and she advises that we stay married through the end of the year, because it would benefit us, tax-wise. So we wait.

    He went at the beginning of the year and read the papers, had her change a few things. We are still waiting on them to be sent out.

    All this time, he has not been paying child support. He has taken care of our son's school meals, school registration, new glasses, etc.

    My question is- can I get retro child support back to the original filing date of April? I'm ready to contact my own attorney to get things rolling, because this is getting ridiculous to me. We aren't fighting about anything, it's because he's too lazy to do anything, and personally, I cannot afford to go to an attorney for the whole case.

    I know that I would have to ask for retro, but how far back can I ask for it?
  2. #2
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    What you should do is ask for temporary support while the divorce is pending. That could have been done at the time the divorce was filed (or in your response).
  3. #3
    dolphinlove21 is offline Junior Member
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    I should have done that, yes. However, stupid me believed him when he said that he would pay me the support himself while we were working through the divorce case. It's been 10 months now, and I've not gotten a dime. I should have gone to my own attorney long ago, however did not have the money to do it. Well, I'm tired of waiting, so I finally contacted my attorney and am wanting to get things rolling.

    So the question still stands- as there was no response originally....can I still request the retro child support back to the original filing date of April?
  4. #4
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    You can request anything under the sun. However, I would expect the court to look at your failure to do anything sooner.
  5. #5
    JQ Citizen is offline Member
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    You know obviously you could have gotten a better situation had you requested a temporary orders hearing 10 months ago. You didn't, but you don't need to punish yourself for this decision now.
    You said in one answer that he has paid for school lunches, school registration, and glasses etc. I will just assume this isn't a lot of money, but try not to get too focused on what you could have had.

    You have an Attorney now, trust their judgment. Does your Attorney recommend a temporary orders hearing?

    Try not to look in the past, I don't know if you are truly suffering financially, you may be. If so ask to be made whole, in the division of property phase of your divorce, you will split assets, describe your financial loss during the 10 months after you left your husband.

    You left your husband? you expect him to give you money? Can I assume your vows are flexible but his responsibilities are iron clad? It does seem at the time you left he was supporting his child with a home, and all other needs? is this correct?

    Child support is too often used as a punitive measure. If you love your child try in what ever way possible to not punish your X.

    Your Husband may be the worlds biggest self serving jerk, maybe he isn't. The courts will be more than willing to serve him up regardless of his true self, sit back relax and enjoy the show.

    Please stay tuned for the brow beating I will take for even commenting on CS, You see as a payer I am not entitled to an opinion on this forum. I avoided a custody fight because I found CS and a nanny cost about the same amount. I really assumed my X would do an ok job. Well after 5 years of her unavailability as a parent while I bypassed promotion, to work around her schedule and be off work every holiday, weekend, etc. Her boyfriend decided I needed a dose of ass kicking for being an overachiever.
    I challenged their BS suit, with a counter petition for custody.

    I am now a custodial parent, my lawyer told me it is very hard for a father to win custody, but we did it. I told him I have had custody, only now it's on paper. In less than one month I will be receiving CS, so maybe that will make me eligible to comment on CS, if so I apologize for commenting prematurely.
    Last edited by JQ Citizen; 02-03-2011 at 03:06 PM.
  6. #6
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by JQ Citizen View Post
    Please stay tuned for the brow beating I will take for even commenting on CS, You see as a payer I am not entitled to an opinion on this forum.


    You're entitled to your opinion. It's that your ongoing ME-ME-ME-ME stories in someone else's thread are objectionable.
  7. #7
    JQ Citizen is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post


    You're entitled to your opinion. It's that your ongoing ME-ME-ME-ME stories in someone else's thread are objectionable.
    Point well taken.
    I have found it necessary to quantify my remarks, otherwise the beatings continue. I m sharing this thread with my favorite paralegal, to quote her "these women are all beyothces"
    (not you)
    Last edited by JQ Citizen; 02-03-2011 at 04:11 PM.
  8. #8
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by JQ Citizen View Post
    Point well taken.
    I have found it necessary to quantify my remarks, otherwise the beatings continue. I m sharing this thread with my favorite paralegal, to quote her "these women are all beyothces"


    I hope she's not as dense as you're making her out to be.
  9. #9
    dolphinlove21 is offline Junior Member
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    I did leave my soon-to-be ex, yes. Do I expect child support? The purpose of child support is to make it so that the living situation in each household is *somewhat* equal. Thus far, it has not been. I am struggling financially, and do need the help. He makes more than double what I do...so yes, I expect child support. Did I ask for spousal support? No, and I don't intend to.

    Yes, my attorney has told me that we should file for temporary child support.

    Did he provide for our son in the last year? Yes, he has- like I said, he has paid school expenses, glasses, etc. As for shelter...that could be disputed. He has not made a payment on the house for a year now, putting the house into pre-foreclosure, while we have had it on the market for a full year now. No mortgage payments, but yet somehow manages to end up with a new (used, I have no idea) motorcycle, 3 nice new guitars and all the toys to go with them, plus lessons, has gotten a license to carry concealed weapons and now has a handgun. Somehow ends up with all these things, but can't pay the mortgage...that's responsible, don't you think? I have been busting my butt to make sure that I can pay the rent and the rest of my bills to keep a house for me and my son.

    I do not plan to ask for any of those new toys in the divorce. I don't want them. But I do want the judge to be aware of all of this.

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