sd not living here

[kpepperz]

What is the name of your state? IL
My 16 year old sd went to live with her mom because "she couldn't live by the rules here" anymore. Sd and ss have been living with my husband and I for the past 9 years after bio-mom lost custody. We still have ss, who is 12. Bio-mom had told us if we continued "forcing" sd to live here, sd would just run away anyway. To make a long story short, husband let daughter go live with her mom, mom said the $200 per week she has been paying us in court ordered support would not change. Now, all of a sudden, she wants to stop all support since she has one kid and we have the other. We offered to give her 1/2 the child support back each week, since sd will be turning 18 in 1.5 years and she would still be required to pay for ss, and going back to court at that time would cost both of us money. She said no and she will see us in court. My question is this...how likely is it that the support would be stopped in light of the fact that there is NO change of custody orders?

 

[stealth2]

Do you really expecy her to file for a modification of support and not custody? Either way, until the support order is modified by a judge, she owes the full amount ordered.

 

[kpepperz]

No, I am expecting her to file for custody as well. The thing is, my husband did not want her to go live with bm, and the bm was telling my sd what to do in order to make life hell for everyone. Considering that the bm lost custody because of drug use by her boyfriend (now her husband), and the fact that sd moved out against his wishes (granted, he is an idiot for letting her go in the first place, and only did so because both sd and bm stated she would repeatedly run away if forced to stay here), how likely will the judge grant her request? There is no cooperation on her part on anything....

 

[stealth2]

It's impossible to say what the odds are. She lost custody 9 years ago due to her (now) husband's drug use - is he clean now? If he is, that's no longer a viable reason.

And yes - Dad was pretty foolish for letting the girl go, no matter what. There's a reason why kids are kids and parents are parents. They don't always like us, but such is life - they don't write the rules of their lives until their adults. When we give them the power to do so........

 

[djohnson]

Whatever happens, go ahead and put in the order what happens when the daughter turns 18 with the child support for your ss. It can save you from having to go back to court later.

 

[kat1963]

Of course she's going to take it to court. If your husband makes more money then she does, then he can be ordered to pay HER child support until such time the older child emancipates. And watch for arrrears if this happens, it will normally be ordered back to the date of her filing NOT when the judge signs the papers. Give her half back, come on now, why should she have to pay & then expect half of HER OWN MONEY back when she is raising one of the kids?
Hint: When the younger child decides to decamp too the courts could find that by Dad allowing the older child to reside with Mom he already agreed she was a responsible parent.

KAT