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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005

    Question Settle CS out of court...

    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? VA

    This is my first time bringing this up to anyone, anywhere in any form or fashion.

    I was divorced in 1994, 2 children, court awarded my then spouse custody and CS based on my then salary.

    Fast forward 2005.

    My salary has gone up about $50,000, at times. I'm remarried to a woman with a child. She (new wife) had quite a bit of bills I incurred.

    Now a little about my ex, we got divorced because of her mood swings which as best as I can tell she is probably bipolar. For instance, I have offered and offered till I'm blue in the face to put the children on my health insurance, but she swears i am trying to trick her. Fact is, even if I did she will not use it when needed. I have offered to up my child support (as the amount I have been paying is way way way under what I should be) but she refuses.

    So, now she has become conscious of the fact that I should be paying her more money, I send her more she gets mad, I swear. I have never missed a support payment and always help with anything for the children whenever they need it (albeit they don't like me as Mom poisoned them against me, but that's another story).

    Currently I am out of the country making a fairly large salary. I am sending her double my latest child support and I haven't heard anything yet. I told her before I left I would pay her "X" amount for one year, while I am making my new salary and then pay her "Y" amount ($500 less than "X" and $250 more than old) when I return. Also, I am also starting a college fund for both of my children and plan on having $10K for each when I return.

    I'm pretty much stressed out as when her law school (but not lawyer) brother realizes where I am, what I do he may or may not take me to court.

    They know that I'm not a bad person, and the difficult person she could be. I want to keep this out of court and settle on a amount. BUT, should they decide to take me to court, asides from making me legally up my child support to VA guidelines, what else can I expect.

    I await the tribunal.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    If you know that you are paying less than state guidelines why don't you file and petition the courts to modify the child support? It is the only way to legally protect yourself and if you are dealing with someone who is that unstable I would think you would want that kind of protection.

    The money you are sending her above the court ordered CS amount will be considered a gift and not child support, if I am not mistaken. Most courts will not recognize an out of court settlement between parents when it comes to child support. You are really not doing yourself any favors by wanting to keep it out of the courts.

    If you have kept up with your CS payments then you have nothing to fear as far as what might happen if she takes you back to court. The only thing that can happen is a modification.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    the crystal ball says**************get ready to pay the LEGAL amount of child support owed to your ex for the care of your children**************..

    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  4. #4
    I can't say about your state, but many states allow you to register an agreed upon amount as long as it follows legal guidelines for a simple filing fee. If you get online to see the general format you can type up a motion to modify and enter it pro se (without legal council). If she doesn't respond and a judge sees that it is not to her detriment, most judges will grant the motion. Most states have online calculators so you can determine what your state's guidelines are. If she decides to take action in the future, most attorneys will advise her not to rock the boat. Hope this helps. I wish my ex was so ethical.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005

    Smile Thanks USMOM!

    I'll look into that.

    Take care and best wishes.


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