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Shared custody and child support

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sweetielove

Guest
What is the name of your state? I live in Florida. Me and my ex have shared custody of our 11 year old on. My ex is on social security and public assistance. I am also on public assistance. The food stamp/medicaid office here says its okay that our son is shared between the two of us, but our son can only be put on one case, and he is on my ex's case. Child Support Enforcement says different. They say even though our son is shared between us (stays with me half the time and his dad half the time) that does not matter. He is on his dads case and I have to pay child support, like if our son is never with me. I do not think this is fair. Our divorce decree states "NO" child support since we share him equally and no matter what, we both make sure he is totally taken care of. I have searched for answers and found that a issue like ours, we both, would pay half to each other depending on one anothers income, which what it comes down to is swapping money with each other. I have also been diagnoised with Agoraphobia w/panic attacks. I don't think I qualify for disability because my boyfriend whom I live with makes too much, they say (S.S.) And I would only qualify for S.S.I. anyway but..... So, I can't leave my home to work, to pay child support I don't think I owe. Our son never does with out anything!!! No matter what, I always make sure he has what he needs. Any advice??? I need help with this asap, please. :(
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
sweetielove said:
What is the name of your state? I live in Florida. Me and my ex have shared custody of our 11 year old on. My ex is on social security and public assistance. I am also on public assistance. The food stamp/medicaid office here says its okay that our son is shared between the two of us, but our son can only be put on one case, and he is on my ex's case. Child Support Enforcement says different. They say even though our son is shared between us (stays with me half the time and his dad half the time) that does not matter. He is on his dads case and I have to pay child support, like if our son is never with me. I do not think this is fair. Our divorce decree states "NO" child support since we share him equally and no matter what, we both make sure he is totally taken care of. I have searched for answers and found that a issue like ours, we both, would pay half to each other depending on one anothers income, which what it comes down to is swapping money with each other. I have also been diagnoised with Agoraphobia w/panic attacks. I don't think I qualify for disability because my boyfriend whom I live with makes too much, they say (S.S.) And I would only qualify for S.S.I. anyway but..... So, I can't leave my home to work, to pay child support I don't think I owe. Our son never does with out anything!!! No matter what, I always make sure he has what he needs. Any advice??? I need help with this asap, please. :(
Unfortunately, when one parent is collecting state aid for a child, the state automatically goes after the other parent for child support, no matter what the situation is like. You are caught up in a cycle. Has the state's case been brought before a judge?
 

ellencee

Senior Member
How can a child with both parents living off of public assistance have everything he needs?
How can someone who can't leave home to work find a live-in boyfriend? Did he knock on the door, she invited him in and she kept him?

EC
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
EC....I meant to tell you before that I like your Tolkien quote. I am a serious fan of his works.
 
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sweetielove

Guest
Well, for one, No, he didn't knock on my door. I was working when I met him and eventually I moved in with him. For two, I have Agoraphobia, my boyfriend is fine, in fact SSI says I don't qualify because he makes too much. (which isn't fair, he's not my husband........yet) For three, my son does do fine considering both parents are on public assistant. How your wondering? His dad is on regular Social Security and Medicaid, his dad is doing fine financially, enough that our son recieved a PS2 last month for his birthday. And, I never went in front of a judge. CSE made their own stupid decision!!!! Regardless of being on public assistance or not, we both take care of him and I don't think I should have to pay any child support since he is with me the same amount of time he is with his dad. You know, I was hoping for some "nice" opinions, not any sarcastic ones from people who don't even understand the situation. It's always easy to sit and criticize if you yourself aren't struggling and trying to find answers and help. Things are hard enough right now and I don't need any one sitting up on a "high horse" looking down on me!!!!
 
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ellencee

Senior Member
sweetielove
No one is on a high horse around here; we're firmly on the ground.

The state will pursue gaining repayment of support paid for the child and as the child is on the father's "case", the state will pursue recouping the money from you. It will be up to a judge to decide whether or not you will be held responsible for the repayment of the support paid and/or regular child support. Chances are that the judge will find that you are capable of paying a certain amount of support each month, so it would be a good idea to start checking out the employment ads for something that you can do.

The child should be receiving a monthly check from the father's Social Security Disability Income. If no one has applied for the child's benefits, the process can be initiated via the internet.

Public assistance is not supposed to be a way of life; it is supposed to be assist a person in need so the person can establish a self-supporting life and it's not supposed to enable people to shack up at the taxpayer's expense.

Counseling is also available for little or no charge and if you have problems functioning in the world, take advantage of counseling and get back into a productive lifestyle.

LdiJ
EC....I meant to tell you before that I like your Tolkien quote. I am a serious fan of his works.
It's takes a vivid imagination to be a serious fan of his works (writings). Are you also a fan of Piers Anthony and Terry Brooks?
EC
 
Since you are on public assistance, have you contacted Public Legal Aid? In theory, I must agree w/you--if you & the child's father have similar incomes & share physical care & custody of the child, neither of you should pay child support to the other. Only a court order may stop CSE, so you need to go to court. Or, switch your son to your "case". But, I guess then your ex will pay child support. But, you could just agree between yourselves to shift these public funds back to the other.

"Regardless of being on public assistance or not, we both take care of him"

Who is the "we". In reality the government is taking care of all of you. What are they calculating your child support on? Your public assistance allowance? Or what you would make if you were working?

Have you sought treatment for your agoraphobia? It is treatable which is probably why you did not qualify for SSI or SSDI. No one gets turned down because of a boyfriend's income.

So you have several options. Get free legal assistance & fight CSE. Or change custody arrangments so you have full custody. Or get medical treatment so you can work & support your son.

This is true irony--the government making one person being supported by public funds pay child support to another person being supported by public funds when the child is already being supported by public funds. Whoa!!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
ellencee said:
LdiJ

It's takes a vivid imagination to be a serious fan of his works (writings). Are you also a fan of Piers Anthony and Terry Brooks?
EC
I am not familiar with them, however now that you have mentioned them I will check them out. I am always looking for new authors to read. Thanks.
 

audster

Member
So are you saying that the CSE division of public aid can, in effect ignore court orders and divorce decrees....aren't they subject to a judges orders as well?

OT-- to Lidj and Ec Also a tolkien fan, Anthony and Brooks as well, though I haven't caught the last few Shannara books. Outstanding literary taste....allow me to add Robert Jordan, Robin Hobb and Stephan Brust to the list. Thier all along the same lines.
 
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sweetielove

Guest
I have seeked help for my condition and taking medications for it, and I am not on Medicaid, my other son from a previous marriage is 18, so they say I can not be on it anymore. So bacically, I pay for my own medications and doctors apointments, which I found one here that works on what you can afford to pay, which I pay $15.00 each visit. He gives me my Zoloft for free and my alprozalam is cheap since it is a generic. And yes, Social Security told me on the phone, I most likely won't qualify for SSI because of my boyfriends income, and not because anything else. I researched CSE here in Florida and found out that if both parents have shared custody and he is with us equal time, like he is, then they have to go by both of our incomes...............and in other words, we would be swapping monies each month. That is stated in one of their statutes. And with my disability I have for now, all I need is a letter from my doctor, which I have and CSE has to put it to rest for now. And I can file papers at my courthouse also, which they said could stop it . Ther original order which was our divorce decree from 4/03, the judge put no child support paid by either parent. I am to go see CSE in the morning and as of right now, I am researching their web site, reading all their rules, statutes, etc. So, when I talk to them and they say we can't do this or that, they had better open their "Bible" and start reading. By the way, my son does get extra money from his dad being on SS........By the way, where did you find that it can't go by my boyfriends income? I have been reearching and can't find any on that. They just talked about husbands income. If you know where it is stated, please let me know the web site........
 
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sweetielove

Guest
"Public assistance is not supposed to be a way of life; it is supposed to be assist a person in need so the person can establish a self-supporting life and it's not supposed to enable people to shack up at the taxpayer's expense" Who's shacking up on taxpayer's expenses? I have paid tax's too in the past, so I am just getting some of that back!!!!! AND, Who says it isn't assisting a person in need so the person can establish a self-supporting life???? For your info, I am in a college class online, graduating in Feb 05 if I can beat this Agoraphobia by Jan so I can start my externship. I will have an Associates Degree majoring in Medical Assisting. The whole class is online except for my last two months (Jan. and Feb) which is my externship, then I graduate after 18 months!!! So, therefore, NO ONE here was by any means was just shacking up public assistance!! I only need help from the @#$%ing CSE now till I finish, but its still not fair that I pay CS. So before you jump to assumptions, at least ask question. Have you ever been in a situation to where you had to walk in a food stamp office with your tail between your legs, and ask (as hard as you don't want too) for help???? I don't know if I will ever be able to beat this condition of mine, but at least I am trying!!! Do you even know what Agoraphobia w/panic attacks is?
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
sweetielove said:
"Public assistance is not supposed to be a way of life; it is supposed to be assist a person in need so the person can establish a self-supporting life and it's not supposed to enable people to shack up at the taxpayer's expense" Who's shacking up on taxpayer's expenses? I have paid tax's too in the past, so I am just getting some of that back!!!!! AND, Who says it isn't assisting a person in need so the person can establish a self-supporting life???? For your info, I am in a college class online, graduating in Feb 05 if I can beat this Agoraphobia by Jan so I can start my externship. I will have an Associates Degree majoring in Medical Assisting. The whole class is online except for my last two months (Jan. and Feb) which is my externship, then I graduate after 18 months!!! So, therefore, NO ONE here was by any means was just shacking up public assistance!! I only need help from the @#$%ing CSE now till I finish, but its still not fair that I pay CS. So before you jump to assumptions, at least ask question. Have you ever been in a situation to where you had to walk in a food stamp office with your tail between your legs, and ask (as hard as you don't want too) for help???? I don't know if I will ever be able to beat this condition of mine, but at least I am trying!!! Do you even know what Agoraphobia w/panic attacks is?
Honey, despite the fact that I am now a professional, yes, I HAVE had to go into a food stamp office with my tail between my legs, asking for assistance.
Its probably the most humiliating thing that can happen to a person....particularly to a person who is accustomed to supporting themselves. Many people don't realize that it isn't a picnic for the person collecting assistance...and that it DOES NOT, in any way, shape or form, provide enough to truly "support" a parent and child....its not a "free ride".

In my case it was an unexpected disaster a little bit later in life than for most parents....and thank god it was extremely short or I don't know if I could have handled it. For my cousin it was being a young mother, unexpectedly divorced and needing the help until she could get a college education and be a productive member of society. (Which she now is as an editor of her local newspaper)

This board (and others as well) have a particular "distain" for anyone that finds themselves in the need of help...whether its temporary or long term.

I am glad to see that you are working to improve your situation. I am glad that you are getting treatment for your disorders...and YES, when I was going through my disaster I also had a serious problem with panic attacks and being unable to leave my home, so I DO understand that as well...I even fought getting help/medication for the problem because I thought that was additionally humiliating...I realized how stupid I was the day that the medication "kicked in"...I was suddenly myself again.

So I honestly DO understand your situation and unlike others don't fault you for it.

However you really ARE caught up in a "cycle". However it also sounds like you have a handle on what may resolve it. Don't be afraid to ask to speak to a supervisor at CSE if you don't get anywhere with the first people that you talk to. I can't guarantee that you can fix the problem, but the system doesn't intend to unfairly handle things and if you talk to enough people it might get resolved.
 

bubbly602

Member
Ssi

I would sincerely suggest that you follow up on the SSI thing. I have never heard of a person being disqualified because of a b/f's income either. There are a couple of things to consider. Are you considered able to work? If not, then you should try for both SSI and SSDI, at least until you are able to work. Also, being on SSI automatically qualifies you for Medicaid(in most states), which would assist you to get better care to overcome your problems. When you spoke to the person at the office, were you just calling to find out, or were you getting the results of your application for SSI? If you were just calling to find out, go ahead and file the application. You have a diagnosed disorder, and that does qualify you to at least try for SSI. Good luck
 

ellencee

Senior Member
SSI is 'needs based' and takes into consideration the income of all persons living in the household. If the boyfriend's income puts the household over the maximum allowed income, then SSI is denied. It is possible that the OP no longer qualifies for public assistance housing if the household income is above the maximum allowed for SSI. The income limits should be available via a web search.

EC
 

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