signing over your parental rights (west virginia)

[adorn_the_truth]

Recently my boyfriend got a call from a woman claiming she has a six month old baby that belongs to him. She was married during her pregnancy and recently got a divorce. The husband was paying child support but according to her said the baby didn't look like him so had her take a paternity test. The baby supposedly isn't his. She's on welfare. She said that she didn't want to go to the state to get a paternity test. My boyfriend is demanding a blood test and is demanding she pay for it or the state (on the grounds that she could have had other sexual partners). He's had no contact with her since before she became pregnant. And she's only contacted him after her husband divorced her and she has no money. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with the child, no custody, and nothing to do with her. He wants to sign over his parental rights. She found out that i wasn't going to leave him over this matter and she said "well if she's not leaving you then I WILL go to the state". Which is fine..but leads us to believe she's just looking for someone to pay for her and her baby. What rights do my boyfriend have if he is ordered to take a test and if it turns out he IS the father? Can he sign away his rights and avoid paying child support. He's afraid with her not wanting to work and help herself that he will have to pay 3/4 of his paycheck to her. Which is unfair. He's willing to pay child support IF they make him. But wants NO relationship with her or the baby. She also says there is no father named on the birth certificate. I don't understand how there is no father listed on the birth certificate when she was playing the child off as her ex husbands when it was born...and up until the ex decided the child probably wasn't his. To get welfare for a child doesn't the mother have to show proof of a father first? And shouldn't the state be contacting my boyfriend on this matter and not her if the state is already paying child support? This leads me to believe the ex is still supporting the child and she's trying to re kindle a relationship with my boyfriend. Which he says no and he's marrying me and in turn that is making her furious. What should he do?

Wel also know she's diagnosed bi polar and she is extremely erratic. THAT is why he wants no contact with her or her baby. She's also said to be on drugs. We don't want her around us or our future family. And so that's why he has no plans on establishing a relationship with the child if it is his. He's never seen it and it's 6 months old and never wants to. She wants him to be in it's life. Can she force him to? Will the judge look at the fact he wants NO contact?

 

[ceara19]

Recently my boyfriend got a call from a woman claiming she has a six month old baby that belongs to him. She was married during her pregnancy and recently got a divorce. The husband was paying child support but according to her said the baby didn't look like him so had her take a paternity test. The baby supposedly isn't his.

Was he removed as the child's LEGAL father?

She's on welfare. She said that she didn't want to go to the state to get a paternity test. My boyfriend is demanding a blood test and is demanding she pay for it or the state (on the grounds that she could have had other sexual partners).

It can be done through the court and if the child turns out to be his, HE has to pay for it.

He's had no contact with her since before she became pregnant.

Then the baby CAN'T be his.

And she's only contacted him after her husband divorced her and she has no money. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with the child, no custody, and nothing to do with her. He wants to sign over his parental rights.

He doesn't have to have a relationship with the child but he will have to pay support if the baby is his. He can't just "sign away his rights".

She found out that i wasn't going to leave him over this matter and she said "well if she's not leaving you then I WILL go to the state". Which is fine..but leads us to believe she's just looking for someone to pay for her and her baby. What rights do my boyfriend have if he is ordered to take a test and if it turns out he IS the father? Can he sign away his rights and avoid paying child support. He's afraid with her not wanting to work and help herself that he will have to pay 3/4 of his paycheck to her. Which is unfair. He's willing to pay child support IF they make him. But wants NO relationship with her or the baby.

He won't have to pay 3/4 of his check

She also says there is no father named on the birth certificate. I don't understand how there is no father listed on the birth certificate when she was playing the child off as her ex husbands when it was born...and up until the ex decided the child probably wasn't his. To get welfare for a child doesn't the mother have to show proof of a father first?

The husband's name may have been on the BC in the beginning, but taken off when he was determained not to be the father. If that was the case, virtually no one would be on state aid. All she has to do is name the presumed father.

And shouldn't the state be contacting my boyfriend on this matter and not her if the state is already paying child support? This leads me to believe the ex is still supporting the child and she's trying to re kindle a relationship with my boyfriend. Which he says no and he's marrying me and in turn that is making her furious. What should he do?

Yes it should be the state contacting you. If she just recently went to the state, it make take quite some time before the state actually sends him notice.

Wel also know she's diagnosed bi polar and she is extremely erratic. THAT is why he wants no contact with her or her baby. She's also said to be on drugs. We don't want her around us or our future family. And so that's why he has no plans on establishing a relationship with the child if it is his. He's never seen it and it's 6 months old and never wants to. She wants him to be in it's life. Can she force him to?

If she is this troubled, why would he want this woman raising his child? She can't FORCE him to be involved.

Will the judge look at the fact he wants NO contact?

Yes, and it won't be in a good way.

 

[adorn_the_truth]

Was he removed as the child's LEGAL father?



It can be done through the court and if the child turns out to be his, HE has to pay for it.



Then the baby CAN'T be his.




He doesn't have to have a relationship with the child but he will have to pay support if the baby is his. He can't just "sign away his rights".



He won't have to pay 3/4 of his check



The husband's name may have been on the BC in the beginning, but taken off when he was determained not to be the father. If that was the case, virtually no one would be on state aid. All she has to do is name the presumed father.



Yes it should be the state contacting you. If she just recently went to the state, it make take quite some time before the state actually sends him notice.



If she is this troubled, why would he want this woman raising his child? She can't FORCE him to be involved.



Yes, and it won't be in a good way.

Well he had sex with her the month she became pregnant. She was also having sex with her ex husband because she was secretly still seeing him as well. As well as she had sex with another person. My boyfriend never found this out until months later. I don't think she was on drugs when he had sex with her. Just recently. Yeah we realize that if he IS the father then he will have to pay for the test but he's not going to before because that's just stupid. We have came to the point where we are getting a lawyer and she is going to be directed to him. We are no longer corresponding with her at all. She wanted to take a home test kit and just have him in the babys life and not recieve any child support. But he doesn't want to be in the babys life. She's came to the conclusion that if he doesn't want to be in her life or the babys life then she wants to make things difficult. And the fact that he's going to marry someone else and have a family with them drove her over the edge. We both want to go on about our business without the child around and to forget about it as much as possible so it doesn't affect OUR future family. If support has to be paid then so be it. She can take the money and go on about her business and leave him and I alone. That's why he's signing over his rights. The thing is he makes way more money than her. Right now he's military and will be going to another country for a year really soon. If he is the father we both agree she's just after money since she wasn't going to say a word until her ex husband decided he didn't think it was his..she lost her support from him so now she's just looking for someone to support her...so now she has no choice but to go after the real father. I find it disturbing she was going to play the child off as her ex husbands knowing it probably wasn't his. Is there anything anyone can do with their money or investments to keep the government from giving her anything extra. She doesn't work and doesn't want to...I don't feel we should reward her for being lazy.

 

[ceara19]

Well he had sex with her the month she became pregnant. She was also having sex with her ex husband because she was secretly still seeing him as well. As well as she had sex with another person. My boyfriend never found this out until months later. I don't think she was on drugs when he had sex with her. Just recently. Yeah we realize that if he IS the father then he will have to pay for the test but he's not going to before because that's just stupid. We have came to the point where we are getting a lawyer and she is going to be directed to him. We are no longer corresponding with her at all. She wanted to take a home test kit and just have him in the babys life and not recieve any child support. But he doesn't want to be in the babys life. She's came to the conclusion that if he doesn't want to be in her life or the babys life then she wants to make things difficult. And the fact that he's going to marry someone else and have a family with them drove her over the edge. We both want to go on about our business without the child around and to forget about it as much as possible so it doesn't affect OUR future family. If support has to be paid then so be it. She can take the money and go on about her business and leave him and I alone. That's why he's signing over his rights. The thing is he makes way more money than her. Right now he's military and will be going to another country for a year really soon. If he is the father we both agree she's just after money since she wasn't going to say a word until her ex husband decided he didn't think it was his..she lost her support from him so now she's just looking for someone to support her...so now she has no choice but to go after the real father. I find it disturbing she was going to play the child off as her ex husbands knowing it probably wasn't his. Is there anything anyone can do with their money or investments to keep the government from giving her anything extra. She doesn't work and doesn't want to...I don't feel we should reward her for being lazy.

The first highlighted statement bothers me. You feel as though you should be allowed to go on with your lives and ignore the child because you dont want to affect "OUR FAMILY". If the child IS his, then it IS HIS family.

Because of the first statement, I feel the need to comment on the 2dn statement. You don't feel as though you should reward HER being lazy, but HE should be rewarded for being irresponsible?

Edited to add:

No he can't try to hide is income to avoid child support. If he does the child support will be the LEAST of his worries.

 

[adorn_the_truth]

The first highlighted statement bothers me. You feel as though you should be allowed to go on with your lives and ignore the child because you dont want to affect "OUR FAMILY". If the child IS his, then it IS HIS family.

Because of the first statement, I feel the need to comment on the 2dn statement. You don't feel as though you should reward HER being lazy, but HE should be rewarded for being irresponsible?

Well really if you look at it she is irresponsible. She has a child and she really doesn't know who it belongs to. Not to mention she led two men on at once and cheated on both of them. She has no job. And wants to mooch off of american tax payers...and wants a man to pay for her and her baby. That is irresponsibility. Second of all he doesn't want the child. Simply because the mother is a nutcase. And we are both afraid for her to be around us and our future children. She's deceitful and she's violent and we are looking out for OUR best interests. I don't want my children around her or a child that comes from her environment. As harsh as that sounds.

 

[ceara19]

Well really if you look at it she is irresponsible. She has a child and she really doesn't know who it belongs to. Not to mention she led two men on at once and cheated on both of them. She has no job. And wants to mooch off of american tax payers...and wants a man to pay for her and her baby. That is irresponsibility. Second of all he doesn't want the child. Simply because the mother is a nutcase. And we are both afraid for her to be around us and our future children. She's deceitful and she's violent and we are looking out for OUR best interests. I don't want my children around her or a child that comes from her environment. As harsh as that sounds.

I never said she wasn't irresponsible, she is, but so is he. If he didn't want a child with a "nutcase", he shouldn't have had sex with her. And why would you want to have children with a man that turns his back on his own child and puts that child in harms way by abandoning the kid with a "nutcase"?

 

[ceara19]

Duplicate thread

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=306266

 

[ceara19]

You need to keep your posts together to avoid confusion.

As to the 401K question on the other thread, the answer is NO, 401K isn't an allowable deduction.

 

[adorn_the_truth]

I never said she wasn't irresponsible, she is, but so is he. If he didn't want a child with a "nutcase", he shouldn't have had sex with her. And why would you want to have children with a man that turns his back on his own child and puts that child in harms way by abandoning the kid with a "nutcase"?

I would do the same thing in his case. I'm supporting him on this 100% We aren't sure it is his child. We haven't gotten anything from the state. Just three phone calls from her. One saying he's a father and she wants him to be part of her babys life. The next one was inquiring about his relationship status. The last one she was very cheerful until he informed her he wanted a lab blood test and wanted it ordered by the state. At that point she got mad and asked if he and I were breaking up over the issue. He informed her he had no plans of breaking off anything with me and wanted no intimate relationship with her and no paternal relationship with the baby. He said he would pay child support and that was it. At that point she got furious and started throwing a tantrum and said she was going to the state and that was it. So we are trying to explore our options. And I'm trying to find out what financially we could be looking at IF it is his child. Who knows...she could be full of crap and know who the father is. She just kept complaining about how she had no one to support her and her baby because her husband left her. And that's not our problem. My boyfriend will be in another country if papers are served for a court appearance. I'm not sure how that will work out. He's never seen it..and like i said never wants to. She wanted to come to him to do a saliva test and he declined. He wants no interaction with her or a child unless a judge or lawyer is present. We just know how vindictive women can be in these instances and want to be sure she's not going to take him to the cleaners. If she were a little more trying and had a job and was trying to do something for herself we would be a little more nice about the situation.

 

[ceara19]

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states/ks/cal/KSCSC.html
Kansas child support calculator

If he fails to show for a court hearing, a default judgement will be entered. He will be named as the child's legal father and the child support will be set.

Edit:

I just noticed how your post said he will be out of the country IF court papers are served. Does this mean he will be leaving the country to avoid being served?

 

[adorn_the_truth]

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states/ks/cal/KSCSC.html
Kansas child support calculator

If he fails to show for a court hearing, a default judgement will be entered. He will be named as the child's legal father and the child support will be set.

Edit:

I just noticed how your post said he will be out of the country IF court papers are served. Does this mean he will be leaving the country to avoid being served?

Oh no no. He's in the military and already has papers to leave for another country in a couple months. The military is sending him. So I'm not sure if the military would be like well look he can't come to that court hearing because he's over here and we can't send him home and it will just have to wait. Or if they will send him home a couple weeks for that. I mean really...not sure about that one. But no..we are trying not to do anything illegal that will go against but yet still defend ourself.

 

[adorn_the_truth]

Look, if he is proven to be If the other two guys are possibilities, get a paternaty check on them also.I]

Then, Stop sleeping around, it is stupid beyond belief.

Yeah she really shouldn't sleep around. She got a paternity test on one of them. But she says she didn't sleep with anyone else but my boyfriend and her ex. But we have heard other stories. My ex wasn't with me at that time. I met him a couple months after he had last saw her. So he never slept around on me for the record.

 

[ceara19]

Oh no no. He's in the military and already has papers to leave for another country in a couple months. The military is sending him. So I'm not sure if the military would be like well look he can't come to that court hearing because he's over here and we can't send him home and it will just have to wait. Or if they will send him home a couple weeks for that. I mean really...not sure about that one. But no..we are trying not to do anything illegal that will go against but yet still defend ourself.

It's best if he is there, but he can hire an attorney to represent him in court. The military will cooperate in obtaining a DNA sample for the paternity test.

 

[ceara19]

Yeah she really shouldn't sleep around. She got a paternity test on one of them. But she says she didn't sleep with anyone else but my boyfriend and her ex. But we have heard other stories. My ex wasn't with me at that time. I met him a couple months after he had last saw her. So he never slept around on me for the record.

I think the comment was directed to your boyfriend.

(Shay-Pari'e, sorry if I got that wrong)

 

[adorn_the_truth]

I think the comment was directed to your boyfriend.

(Shay-Pari'e, sorry if I got that wrong)

yeah..he thought she was single and really interested in him. And i didn't know him at that time. what i don't understand is how she's able to recieve money from the state and not claim a father.