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son's father got married. how do i go about the child support process?

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EF84

Junior Member
i live in california. my son's father and i were never married and we broke up 6 months after our child was born. the situation is complicated because i tried to keep things friendly and not go to court so i have never filed for child support. i have always been the breadwinner. and he does not have a legitimate job. even when does make money,he has never contributed anything financially. i have always been able to take care of my son on my own but now that times are tough, i need child support. i am looking into filing soon. but before i do i want to know if there is even a chance that i will get any help? he has said that all he has to do is say he doesnt have a job and i wont get anything. is that true? can he do that? i have no proof that he gets paid under the table so what can i do? also, he got married three months ago to a woman that has a good paying job. if he cannot make payments, is there any way to get his wife involved and get money from her? can i file child support against both of them since they are legally joined?? i just want to do what is best for my son and make sure that i am not going through this process for nothing. please help
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
i live in california. my son's father and i were never married and we broke up 6 months after our child was born. the situation is complicated because i tried to keep things friendly and not go to court so i have never filed for child support. i have always been the breadwinner. and he does not have a legitimate job. even when does make money,he has never contributed anything financially. i have always been able to take care of my son on my own but now that times are tough, i need child support. i am looking into filing soon. but before i do i want to know if there is even a chance that i will get any help? he has said that all he has to do is say he doesnt have a job and i wont get anything. is that true? can he do that? i have no proof that he gets paid under the table so what can i do? also, he got married three months ago to a woman that has a good paying job. if he cannot make payments, is there any way to get his wife involved and get money from her? can i file child support against both of them since they are legally joined?? i just want to do what is best for my son and make sure that i am not going through this process for nothing. please help



His wife could earn $5m/year and she will still never, ever be responsible for supporting your child*

*Unless she adopts the child.

File for child support. Request that he's imputed an income equal to at least 40 hours @ min wage. If he doesn't pay, the arrears will simply start accruing and eventually non payment will lead to Very Bad Things.

But never his wife being ordered to pay.
 

EF84

Junior Member
ok so after i file and we go through the whole process, if he decided that he just isnt going to pay no matter what the courts tell him, i still wont receive anything. and in that time, until the courts finally step in and those "bad things" can finally be followed through on, i am not guaranteed to get any money from anywhere. basically, he can be ordered to pay an amount. and if he decides he isnt going to pay, and let's say this goes on for a year and he is finally told, "you either pay or u go to jail"...if he decides to just go and take the jail time, i will never have received a dime and theres nowhere else that i can get the money that he would owe me...is that all correct? am i understanding everything properly? i can file for child support all i want and never receive anything, not from him? not from the state? there's no program where they would pay me and it would basically be a running tab for him and he would have to pay them back? i just want to make sure i have this all correct before i proceed with this
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
ok so after i file and we go through the whole process, if he decided that he just isnt going to pay no matter what the courts tell him, i still wont receive anything. and in that time, until the courts finally step in and those "bad things" can finally be followed through on, i am not guaranteed to get any money from anywhere. basically, he can be ordered to pay an amount. and if he decides he isnt going to pay, and let's say this goes on for a year and he is finally told, "you either pay or u go to jail"...if he decides to just go and take the jail time, i will never have received a dime and theres nowhere else that i can get the money that he would owe me...is that all correct? am i understanding everything properly? i can file for child support all i want and never receive anything, not from him? not from the state? there's no program where they would pay me and it would basically be a running tab for him and he would have to pay them back? i just want to make sure i have this all correct before i proceed with this
If you apply for state aid, the state will go after him.

However, someone who is determined not to pay isn't going to pay regardless of the consequences. Please give more thought to your reproductive life in the future. There really are ways to avoid conception.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
ok so after i file and we go through the whole process, if he decided that he just isnt going to pay no matter what the courts tell him, i still wont receive anything. and in that time, until the courts finally step in and those "bad things" can finally be followed through on, i am not guaranteed to get any money from anywhere. basically, he can be ordered to pay an amount. and if he decides he isnt going to pay, and let's say this goes on for a year and he is finally told, "you either pay or u go to jail"...if he decides to just go and take the jail time, i will never have received a dime and theres nowhere else that i can get the money that he would owe me...is that all correct? am i understanding everything properly? i can file for child support all i want and never receive anything, not from him? not from the state? there's no program where they would pay me and it would basically be a running tab for him and he would have to pay them back? i just want to make sure i have this all correct before i proceed with this


That's right, yes. In a nutshell.

You should never, ever count on receiving a dime of child support. It's always nice when both parents support their mutual child/ren but there are folk out there who will quite literally do anything to avoid paying child support.

With that said, you don't have ANYTHING to lose by filing - and possibly actually get some child support at some point.

One thing is guaranteed - if you don't file, he's not obliged to pay a dime. So go ahead and file. Those arrears can follow him a long, long time after the child/ren turn 18...
 

Alex1176

Member
i live in california. my son's father and i were never married and we broke up 6 months after our child was born. the situation is complicated because i tried to keep things friendly and not go to court so i have never filed for child support. i have always been the breadwinner. and he does not have a legitimate job. even when does make money,he has never contributed anything financially. i have always been able to take care of my son on my own but now that times are tough, i need child support. i am looking into filing soon. but before i do i want to know if there is even a chance that i will get any help? he has said that all he has to do is say he doesnt have a job and i wont get anything. is that true? can he do that? i have no proof that he gets paid under the table so what can i do? also, he got married three months ago to a woman that has a good paying job. if he cannot make payments, is there any way to get his wife involved and get money from her? can i file child support against both of them since they are legally joined?? i just want to do what is best for my son and make sure that i am not going through this process for nothing. please help
Some people think that they are very very smart. Tell this deadbeat everything that the guys told you here (in a very polite way). Show him that you know everything about the law and that you are going to do anything to collect the money. Now he will have an interest to cooperate, if he wants to avoid loosing his DL, passport, and going to jail. You can go to CS agency for further assistance for free.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
His wife could earn $5m/year and she will still never, ever be responsible for supporting your child*

*Unless she adopts the child.

File for child support. Request that he's imputed an income equal to at least 40 hours @ min wage. If he doesn't pay, the arrears will simply start accruing and eventually non payment will lead to Very Bad Things.

But never his wife being ordered to pay.
Just a piece of gratuitous advice for OP. Do not even mention the marriage or the wife when you go to court for child support. They are totally, completely, absolutely irrelevant in most cases (although in a very small number of cases, it makes the court more willing to impute income to him).

Looking at the title of the thread and the timeline, it could look like you're being vindictive because he moved on with his life. I'm not saying that you are, but if you go into court talking about his wife and his marriage, the judge might think so.
 

EF84

Junior Member
im not being vindictive. i thought him being married was relevant cuz if he wasnt going to pay child support, i wanted to see if she was held responsible as well. otherwise, i wasnt sure if the whole child support process was necessary if i wasnt going to get any help anyways. at least thats what a lot of people (none, that are lawyers or have any law experience) were telling me so i wanted to check up on it. but i will file and we will see what happens.thanks for the advice...
and stealth2, your comment pissed me off. you dont know me or anything about my situation. so for you to incinuate that my son is some type of mistake takes some pretty big balls. balls, that im sure you only have behind your keyboard and computer screen and dont have out in the real world. so before you go and say things like that to people that you dont know and who are just here for advice, sit back, and think about how maybe someone shouldve given your mother that same advice before she had you.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
im not being vindictive. i thought him being married was relevant cuz if he wasnt going to pay child support, i wanted to see if she was held responsible as well. otherwise, i wasnt sure if the whole child support process was necessary if i wasnt going to get any help anyways. at least thats what a lot of people (none, that are lawyers or have any law experience) were telling me so i wanted to check up on it. but i will file and we will see what happens.thanks for the advice...
and stealth2, your comment pissed me off. you dont know me or anything about my situation. so for you to incinuate that my son is some type of mistake takes some pretty big balls. balls, that im sure you only have behind your keyboard and computer screen and dont have out in the real world. so before you go and say things like that to people that you dont know and who are just here for advice, sit back, and think about how maybe someone shouldve given your mother that same advice before she had you.


Aren't you the charmer?

Buh-bye.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
im not being vindictive. i thought him being married was relevant cuz if he wasnt going to pay child support, i wanted to see if she was held responsible as well. otherwise, i wasnt sure if the whole child support process was necessary if i wasnt going to get any help anyways. at least thats what a lot of people (none, that are lawyers or have any law experience) were telling me so i wanted to check up on it. but i will file and we will see what happens.thanks for the advice...
His wife didn't have anything to do with conceiving your child, so she is in no way responsible for helping support him/her. That's on you and Dad solely.

and stealth2, your comment pissed me off. you dont know me or anything about my situation. so for you to incinuate that my son is some type of mistake takes some pretty big balls. balls, that im sure you only have behind your keyboard and computer screen and dont have out in the real world. so before you go and say things like that to people that you dont know and who are just here for advice, sit back, and think about how maybe someone shouldve given your mother that same advice before she had you.
Sorry you took offense. But the fact remains - if you can't support a child, you shouldn't be engaging in behavior that creates one.

And hate to tell ya - my parents were married when they had me, and still are today. :eek:
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
im not being vindictive. i thought him being married was relevant cuz if he wasnt going to pay child support, i wanted to see if she was held responsible as well. otherwise, i wasnt sure if the whole child support process was necessary if i wasnt going to get any help anyways. at least thats what a lot of people (none, that are lawyers or have any law experience) were telling me so i wanted to check up on it. but i will file and we will see what happens.thanks for the advice...
and stealth2, your comment pissed me off. you dont know me or anything about my situation. so for you to incinuate that my son is some type of mistake takes some pretty big balls. balls, that im sure you only have behind your keyboard and computer screen and dont have out in the real world. so before you go and say things like that to people that you dont know and who are just here for advice, sit back, and think about how maybe someone shouldve given your mother that same advice before she had you.
Stealth is 100% right. :D:DYou shouldn't be having children if you cannot afford them. Having a child with someone you aren't married to causes problems you are now dealing with. Has paternity even been established?

I think you might be a little bitter about him getting married and now hope to cause problems between your ex and his new wife by filing for support in the hopes it'll be coming out of her pocket. You should have filed for support when the child was born but you waited until now. Whatever, your child deserves to be supported by both his parents so better late than never I guess.
 

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