Split custody of two children and child support

[Ladyback1]

This is quite true. If someone just isn't wanting to pay, they'll go as far as losing licenses, tanking their credit, the whole shebang.

And that's never made sense to me. Jeez, the parent is so mad that they'd rather forego these things instead of - gasp! - supporting the child? On which planet does that make any sense?

I can tell you why....the one paying the support doesn't think it's "fair" that the CP gets to spend the money however he/she sees fit (even though it's almost always spent on providing for said children), or the one paying really and truly does not give a crap about his/her children. Or some meddling step-parent (or step-parent wannabe) decides that the CP doesn't "deserve" the support.

The excuses are many...

And sometimes, I do wish the "penalties" for NOT paying CS were harsher and swifter in coming!

 

[bpm]

I get all the legal reasoning for how they figure child support. And we have no intention of sending my daughter to her moms without involvjng our lawyers and the courts. I was just curious how they figure support in a complicated situation. I dont feel one family should be made financially unstable when we both run our families similarly. We are both blended families, with kids from two relationships and have moms that stay at home. I don't think it is unreasonable for me to be concerned about the financial stability of my family. No one is trying to get out of paying child support! All parties knew what they signed up for and all the kids need to be able to be provided for. One family should not get more money than they need while the other suffers. Why am I a bad person because I stay at home and raise four kids but she is not? Everyone is so concerned for the step father but who cares about the step mom and her kids (step included) because she doesn't have a job? And I fully consider all four kids as ours I only said step in my posts to make it clear who I was speaking about. I obviously should not have posted my question on this forum. This is ridiculous!

 

[PlaysWithSharks]

I get all the legal reasoning for how they figure child support. And we have no intention of sending my daughter to her moms without involvjng our lawyers and the courts. I was just curious how they figure support in a complicated situation. I dont feel one family should be made financially unstable when we both run our families similarly. We are both blended families, with kids from two relationships and have moms that stay at home. I don't think it is unreasonable for me to be concerned about the financial stability of my family. No one is trying to get out of paying child support! All parties knew what they signed up for and all the kids need to be able to be provided for. One family should not get more money than they need while the other suffers. Why am I a bad person because I stay at home and raise four kids but she is not? Everyone is so concerned for the step father but who cares about the step mom and her kids (step included) because she doesn't have a job? And I fully consider all four kids as ours I only said step in my posts to make it clear who I was speaking about. I obviously should not have posted my question on this forum. This is ridiculous!

Where did anyone write the step father is more important than you? All anyone had said is that the two people whose incomes are considered are MOM and DAD. So if one of the two makes a lot more money, they will be paying more. Depending on the state, other dependants might be considered. Mom, dad, stay at home parent or millionaire, that is a fact. In that way, you are step dad are exactly equal.

Look. You calling her your daughter doesn't make it so. She is your step daughter. You do not have custody along with your husband. You just don't.

I'm not trying to be mean. I have three dads and I call them all dad, but only one of them physically participated in my creation. It isn't that step families do not matter in real life, but legally, you have nothing to do with the custody or child support calculations for your STEP children. My husband was the main father figure in my oldest daughters life since age two. Is his income considered for child support? Is he on our custody order? Did I ever allow him to butt into issues with my daughter's dad? NO. Step mom on the other hand was a real hands on prize. And now. At age 19 my daughter barely speaks to her own father because of the interfering he allowed step mom to do.

You are clearly emotional about this, but emotion has no place in the law,

 

[Ohiogal]

I fully consider it "we" since I care for all four children and have been caring for my step-children as if they are my own for the last 6 years. Just because I am a stay at home Mom doesn't mean I am not doing my fair share of the work. Apparently you have no respect for stay at home parents. Their biological mother is $3,000 behind in child support by the way. And this website is about legal advice. I wasn't asking for anyone's religous beliefs. If I was I would go talk to my Priest not go to an online forum.

Actually we have no respect for overstepping stepparents. The children have one mother and it is not you. AND you do not have custody of them. Your husband does. Apparently you have no comprehension of legal forums and what legal terminology is.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you and I appreciate your response. I just have no patience for rude people that gave nothing better to do than make snarky comments on forums. I have been with my husband for 11 years. I know every aspect of the custody arrangement and was at every court date. I also gave up my wedding and gave the money for it to pay the lawyer so we could fight for custody of my step-children. I do know the step-paren'ts incomes are not taken into consideration. I just was not sure if they would take our other two children into consideration and her child with her new husband when deciding child support. We are not letting our daughter decide where to live we are just considering it since she is almost 16 and would like to live with her Mom. We want to research all the variables before making a decision. We are worried that even though our households are run similarly (wife stays at home and husband works) we will have to pay more child support than we can afford. We have no problem paying child support. But since I care for his kids as my own I expect the new step-dad to do the same. Even when I worked I did not keep my income and not spend it on my step-kids. We are a family. There is no yours and mine, only ours. I do however understand the courts can't look at it that way. As much as we would like money to not be a factor in our decision, it is. We have to be able to provide for our other three children if our daughter moves.

A) You do not have custody.
B) This is NOT your daughter who wants to live with her mother. THIS IS HIS daughter and you are overstepping.
C) You are ignorant to the law and you better educate yourself.
D) You have no right to make a decision regarding your stepchildren.
E) Mom should go to court and get a court order against third party interference.
F) You should find yourself sitting in the hall at every court date.
G) NOT "OUR DAUGHTER". You are ridiculous.

 

[Ohiogal]

I get all the legal reasoning for how they figure child support. And we have no intention of sending my daughter to her moms without involvjng our lawyers and the courts. I was just curious how they figure support in a complicated situation. I dont feel one family should be made financially unstable when we both run our families similarly. We are both blended families, with kids from two relationships and have moms that stay at home. I don't think it is unreasonable for me to be concerned about the financial stability of my family. No one is trying to get out of paying child support! All parties knew what they signed up for and all the kids need to be able to be provided for. One family should not get more money than they need while the other suffers. Why am I a bad person because I stay at home and raise four kids but she is not? Everyone is so concerned for the step father but who cares about the step mom and her kids (step included) because she doesn't have a job? And I fully consider all four kids as ours I only said step in my posts to make it clear who I was speaking about. I obviously should not have posted my question on this forum. This is ridiculous!

NOT YOUR DAUGHTER NOT YOUR DAUGHTER NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. You are an overstepping twit. You are stepmom. That means you are a legal stranger. You are a bad person because you are overstepping and thinking you have a right to be involved in this at all. I really hope the judge slams you.

 

[Just Blue]

NOT YOUR DAUGHTER NOT YOUR DAUGHTER NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. You are an overstepping twit. You are stepmom. That means you are a legal stranger. You are a bad person because you are overstepping and thinking you have a right to be involved in this at all. I really hope the judge slams you.

OP should take the ^ post to heart as it is from an Attorney/GAL.

 

[SESmama]

Stepmom doesn't work. Mom doesn't work. Pretty much is equal don't you think?

But she isn't comparing the job situation of mom vs herself.

But since I care for his kids as my own I expect the new step-dad to do the same.

This is where OP hits rock bottom with me. How dare she, not knowing the situation in MOM'S house, even hint that the kids would not be taken care of as she would.

Whether the women are not working because they choose to stay at home, or for some other reason, is not the issue.

And I have no issue with this. My mother was a SAHM. I am as well (although I actually have a job. Just a really good work at home contract).