Start support without having an attorney?

[nursemama]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Hello,
My ex-husband and I divorced 5 years ago. At that time, I would have been required to pay child support to him (as I made more money and we split physical custody of our 3 children equally). However, he agreed that I wouldn't pay child support because I believe he felt guilty for leaving the marriage. He reimburses me each month for half of their medical and dental insurance costs.

Fast forward to today: Our older 2 children are 22 and 20 and independent. Our youngest is 15 and has chosen to live with me full time. She has not spent a night at her dad's house in a year or so. They do see one another but not for more than a couple hours at a time, maybe a handful of times each month. This is by both her choice and his - his priority is his current wife and her children.

My question is this: Since our 15 year old is living solely with me, can I seek child support from him without going through an attorney? I don't want to cause any problems for my daughter as she shouldn't be put in the middle of this. I think her dad will fight paying any support and secure the advice of an attorney if I pursue this so I am wondering how difficult it would be to secure child support from him without having to involve two attorneys and a court case.

Thank you so much for any information you can provide.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Hello,
My ex-husband and I divorced 5 years ago. At that time, I would have been required to pay child support to him (as I made more money and we split physical custody of our 3 children equally). However, he agreed that I wouldn't pay child support because I believe he felt guilty for leaving the marriage. He reimburses me each month for half of their medical and dental insurance costs.

Fast forward to today: Our older 2 children are 22 and 20 and independent. Our youngest is 15 and has chosen to live with me full time. She has not spent a night at her dad's house in a year or so. They do see one another but not for more than a couple hours at a time, maybe a handful of times each month. This is by both her choice and his - his priority is his current wife and her children.

My question is this: Since our 15 year old is living solely with me, can I seek child support from him without going through an attorney? I don't want to cause any problems for my daughter as she shouldn't be put in the middle of this. I think her dad will fight paying any support and secure the advice of an attorney if I pursue this so I am wondering how difficult it would be to secure child support from him without having to involve two attorneys and a court case.

Thank you so much for any information you can provide.

Absolutely.

Start here http://www.mobar.org/uploadedFiles/Home/Publications/Legal_Resources/Brochures_and_Booklets/Family_Law_Conference/Child Support.pdf

 

[TheGeekess]

Or, conversely, OP could contact the CSEA. https://dss.mo.gov/child-support/

 

[Silverplum]

Appalling.

That is all.

 

[Zigner]

I agree. This is one place where the law falls down.

 

[nursemama]

Thanks

Thank you for the links. I will consider pursuing this so as to get some financial reimbursement from my ex-husband for our daughter's expenses. I appreciate the help!

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for the links. I will consider pursuing this so as to get some financial reimbursement from my ex-husband for our daughter's expenses. I appreciate the help!

Of course you do realize that its highly likely that he will turn around and file for custody and it will end up being a big complicated mess? At a minimum you risk that the judge will enforce the original 50/50 timeshare and that your daughter will have to spend 50% of her time in dad's household whether its best for her or not.

You are also going to look like the "bad guy" since you got away with paying no child support when it would have been your responsibility to pay, but now want child support yourself.

 

[Proserpina]

Of course you do realize that its highly likely that he will turn around and file for custody and it will end up being a big complicated mess? At a minimum you risk that the judge will enforce the original 50/50 timeshare and that your daughter will have to spend 50% of her time in dad's household whether its best for her or not.

You are also going to look like the "bad guy" since you got away with paying no child support when it would have been your responsibility to pay, but now want child support yourself.

The 15 year old has been with Mom for a year, if I'm reading this correctly:

Our youngest is 15 and has chosen to live with me full time. She has not spent a night at her dad's house in a year or so

The end result is unfortunately not likely to be the "right" result.