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a stressed out dad

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wjy3ajy

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? California

I currently give the mother of my two children $150 dollars a week since November of 2005. The agreement was is that I just pay her weekly and she would close the child support account. I drive approxmately 50 miles to her house every week to drop off the money and on top of that , my two kids stay at my house every weekend (I pick them up, she never doprs them off), friday to sunday, and sometimes more than that. (Like right now, my kids have been at my house since 6/28 and today is 7/5.) It's already July and the only difference is that when I got my January 2006 statement, no more monthly child support was being added, but the intrest on my arrears were still growing. (I have a considerable amount of arrears due to me having a very high paying job, she had the support modified in that I pay more monthly, I lost the job but I still have the high monthly payments. It all added up through the years because I never had it modified when I was unemployed and up until now.)

So my question is did she close the account?? or did she only stop the monthly payments? When I talk to her, she says that she has closed the account and that she gets no lettersfrom the county. If she is keeping the account open, it's so that she has something to fall back on just in case I don't pay her.

And here's my dilemna. I pay her $600 a month and my child support account is, I am guessing, still open. If she has not closed the account, should I just pay the county only and forget the aggreement? And what about all that money I have ben giving her since November? Can that in any way be credited to my child support account? I have just recently paid her babysitter of our two kids $800, cash. Also, am I paying her too much for my two kids because there are with me more than every weekend?

If I do start paying the county only, what worries me are the where abouts of my kids. She might take them away from me again, I won't see them. What makes me wonder is where does all that money go to. I don't see new clothes for my kids or any new toys or video games. The clothes my kids get are hand me downs from my sisters' kids.

What really stresses me is the mother of my kids. She is hard to talk to. The kids miss the mom, but she says they stil have to stay here.

So I am just at the mercy of the law. Someone please give me advice on what to do. Should I pay the county, or still the mom with some type of agreement of something? Should I get my child support modified if she keeps it open and if it is open? What about all that money I gave her thats not legally recorded? Sorry if all my though are all over the place. Thats just how my mind feels right now.

Thanks for your input in advance.
 


GrowUp!

Senior Member
wjy3ajy said:
What is the name of your state? California

I currently give the mother of my two children $150 dollars a week since November of 2005. The agreement was is that I just pay her weekly and she would close the child support account. I drive approxmately 50 miles to her house every week to drop off the money and on top of that , my two kids stay at my house every weekend (I pick them up, she never doprs them off), friday to sunday, and sometimes more than that. (Like right now, my kids have been at my house since 6/28 and today is 7/5.) It's already July and the only difference is that when I got my January 2006 statement, no more monthly child support was being added, but the intrest on my arrears were still growing. (I have a considerable amount of arrears due to me having a very high paying job, she had the support modified in that I pay more monthly, I lost the job but I still have the high monthly payments. It all added up through the years because I never had it modified when I was unemployed and up until now.)

So my question is did she close the account?? or did she only stop the monthly payments? When I talk to her, she says that she has closed the account and that she gets no lettersfrom the county. If she is keeping the account open, it's so that she has something to fall back on just in case I don't pay her.

And here's my dilemna. I pay her $600 a month and my child support account is, I am guessing, still open. If she has not closed the account, should I just pay the county only and forget the aggreement? And what about all that money I have ben giving her since November? Can that in any way be credited to my child support account? I have just recently paid her babysitter of our two kids $800, cash. Also, am I paying her too much for my two kids because there are with me more than every weekend?

If I do start paying the county only, what worries me are the where abouts of my kids. She might take them away from me again, I won't see them. What makes me wonder is where does all that money go to. I don't see new clothes for my kids or any new toys or video games. The clothes my kids get are hand me downs from my sisters' kids.

What really stresses me is the mother of my kids. She is hard to talk to. The kids miss the mom, but she says they stil have to stay here.

So I am just at the mercy of the law. Someone please give me advice on what to do. Should I pay the county, or still the mom with some type of agreement of something? Should I get my child support modified if she keeps it open and if it is open? What about all that money I gave her thats not legally recorded? Sorry if all my though are all over the place. Thats just how my mind feels right now.

Thanks for your input in advance.
Although it is possible that she closed the current child support order, if you have arrears, you MUST continue to pay that. Unless your ex decides to forgive those.

What you should do is contact the child support office to find out what is going on.

Now, as far as your parenting time goes...do you have an order through the court? If not, then you need one -- like yesterday. Until you get that, then she can do whatever she pleases.

Oh...I am assuming you've been declared the legal father via either DNA test or a signing of a Acknowledgment of Paternity.
 

NotSoNew

Senior Member
i know every state is different BUT when i closed my child support account both myself and the father had to sign the form to close it, then we were both mailed a copy of the order to stop support.

it doesnt sound like she stopped it.
 

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