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Sue mother-in-law

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lookinrose

Junior Member
Hello. We live in SC.
When I got pregnant we went to the first OB-GYN appointment together with my husband. We filled paperwork together and talked to the doctor together. The only what I knew at that moment was 3 cases of cleft leap and cleft pallet on my husband's side. Doctor assured us that our chance to have child with that genetic disorder is very low because there no other problems and no problems in my family. Later we discussed our doctor visit with my husband's mother. She assured me that that is the only problem that seems to be running in their family. I was concerned, but ultrasound didn't show any abnormalities. We start having problems with our baby girl when she was 6 month old. By 9 moths she already was in physical and occupational therapies, and was taking medication to help with her chronic constipation. She was delayed in all areas of development. My mother-in-law notified me that nothing to worry because my husband had some developmental delays as a child. By age 2 we had a diagnosis of autism and several month later we had a genetic test done that showed that our little girl has a very rare genetic disorder, she is missing a piece of chromosome 8. This past summer my mother-in-law slowly starts telling me about different problems that her family is having. I confronted her that my husband's two cousins are albino, not a light skin as I was told earlier. Along with that I learned that my mother-in-law has a bipolar with manic depression disorder and slow colon (she was suggested to have it removed), my husband's sister and albino cousin have a "painful balder syndrome" they are both in their 20s, another albino cousin has a severe case of ADHD, My husband's sister has condition that doctors cannot diagnose, her body attacks her joints, she is constantly in pain, she takes medication not to have her period because it too painful for her. About 3 people in that family have heart mummer. That is on top of 3 cases of cleft leap/pallet and my husband childhood developmental delays and constipation as a child (now he has IBS).

I am shocked by my discovery. Two out of three people in my husbands family have multiple disorders that have genetic tendencies. The most shocking is that I found out about it 4 years later than I should have, considering that besides OB-GYN we saw a genetic doctor twice. My mother-in-law didn’t tell anything about her family even thou she new that we went to the genetic counseling both times, she didn’t tell anything even after our daughter was diagnosed with genetic disorder. I feel that it all was intentionally hidden from me. I work 3 hours a day and on the weekends so that I could take my child to the different therapies in our rehabilitation center. I asked my mother-in-law several times to help me to take care of our child. Her responses was "I am shopping”, “She is not my responsibility”, "I raised my children now is your turn". I asked her why she didn't tell me about all the genetic problems that run in her family. She told me “You already were pregnant, what's the point of telling?". During our last genetic doctor visit when we discussed all the new information about my husbands family doctor agreed that amount of people with genetic problems are concerning, but it appear to be no connection to our daughter disorder, other words science cannot tell. I fell that genetic test could had been done while I was pregnant if we knew that situation is that serious. Her genetic disorder could be diagnosed while I was pregnant and honestly I don't have problem with abortion if child will be disabled for life.

Is there any ground or legal reason to sue my mother-in-law for punitive damages and child support?

It is very expensive to have a disabled child; we constantly need to buy materials to run her ABA therapies at home. We have a government sponsored ABA therapy until our daughter turns 8 years old. It cost approximately $3000 a month to run ABA at home. On top of caring for disable child I have a grieving depression for the last 2 years.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
Hello. We live in SC.
When I got pregnant we went to the first OB-GYN appointment together with my husband. We filled paperwork together and talked to the doctor together. The only what I knew at that moment was 3 cases of cleft leap and cleft pallet on my husband's side. Doctor assured us that our chance to have child with that genetic disorder is very low because there no other problems and no problems in my family. Later we discussed our doctor visit with my husband's mother. She assured me that that is the only problem that seems to be running in their family. I was concerned, but ultrasound didn't show any abnormalities. We start having problems with our baby girl when she was 6 month old. By 9 moths she already was in physical and occupational therapies, and was taking medication to help with her chronic constipation. She was delayed in all areas of development. My mother-in-law notified me that nothing to worry because my husband had some developmental delays as a child. By age 2 we had a diagnosis of autism and several month later we had a genetic test done that showed that our little girl has a very rare genetic disorder, she is missing a piece of chromosome 8. This past summer my mother-in-law slowly starts telling me about different problems that her family is having. I confronted her that my husband's two cousins are albino, not a light skin as I was told earlier. Along with that I learned that my mother-in-law has a bipolar with manic depression disorder and slow colon (she was suggested to have it removed), my husband's sister and albino cousin have a "painful balder syndrome" they are both in their 20s, another albino cousin has a severe case of ADHD, My husband's sister has condition that doctors cannot diagnose, her body attacks her joints, she is constantly in pain, she takes medication not to have her period because it too painful for her. About 3 people in that family have heart mummer. That is on top of 3 cases of cleft leap/pallet and my husband childhood developmental delays and constipation as a child (now he has IBS).

I am shocked by my discovery. Two out of three people in my husbands family have multiple disorders that have genetic tendencies. The most shocking is that I found out about it 4 years later than I should have, considering that besides OB-GYN we saw a genetic doctor twice. My mother-in-law didn’t tell anything about her family even thou she new that we went to the genetic counseling both times, she didn’t tell anything even after our daughter was diagnosed with genetic disorder. I feel that it all was intentionally hidden from me. I work 3 hours a day and on the weekends so that I could take my child to the different therapies in our rehabilitation center. I asked my mother-in-law several times to help me to take care of our child. Her responses was "I am shopping”, “She is not my responsibility”, "I raised my children now is your turn". I asked her why she didn't tell me about all the genetic problems that run in her family. She told me “You already were pregnant, what's the point of telling?". During our last genetic doctor visit when we discussed all the new information about my husbands family doctor agreed that amount of people with genetic problems are concerning, but it appear to be no connection to our daughter disorder, other words science cannot tell. I fell that genetic test could had been done while I was pregnant if we knew that situation is that serious. Her genetic disorder could be diagnosed while I was pregnant and honestly I don't have problem with abortion if child will be disabled for life.

Is there any ground or legal reason to sue my mother-in-law for punitive damages and child support?

It is very expensive to have a disabled child; we constantly need to buy materials to run her ABA therapies at home. We have a government sponsored ABA therapy until our daughter turns 8 years old. It cost approximately $3000 a month to run ABA at home. On top of caring for disable child I have a grieving depression for the last 2 years.
OMG! Just OMG!!! Un-FLIPPING-Believable....
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Hello. We live in SC.
When I got pregnant we went to the first OB-GYN appointment together with my husband. We filled paperwork together and talked to the doctor together. The only what I knew at that moment was 3 cases of cleft leap and cleft pallet on my husband's side. Doctor assured us that our chance to have child with that genetic disorder is very low because there no other problems and no problems in my family. Later we discussed our doctor visit with my husband's mother. She assured me that that is the only problem that seems to be running in their family. I was concerned, but ultrasound didn't show any abnormalities. We start having problems with our baby girl when she was 6 month old. By 9 moths she already was in physical and occupational therapies, and was taking medication to help with her chronic constipation. She was delayed in all areas of development. My mother-in-law notified me that nothing to worry because my husband had some developmental delays as a child. By age 2 we had a diagnosis of autism and several month later we had a genetic test done that showed that our little girl has a very rare genetic disorder, she is missing a piece of chromosome 8. This past summer my mother-in-law slowly starts telling me about different problems that her family is having. I confronted her that my husband's two cousins are albino, not a light skin as I was told earlier. Along with that I learned that my mother-in-law has a bipolar with manic depression disorder and slow colon (she was suggested to have it removed), my husband's sister and albino cousin have a "painful balder syndrome" they are both in their 20s, another albino cousin has a severe case of ADHD, My husband's sister has condition that doctors cannot diagnose, her body attacks her joints, she is constantly in pain, she takes medication not to have her period because it too painful for her. About 3 people in that family have heart mummer. That is on top of 3 cases of cleft leap/pallet and my husband childhood developmental delays and constipation as a child (now he has IBS).

I am shocked by my discovery. Two out of three people in my husbands family have multiple disorders that have genetic tendencies. The most shocking is that I found out about it 4 years later than I should have, considering that besides OB-GYN we saw a genetic doctor twice. My mother-in-law didn’t tell anything about her family even thou she new that we went to the genetic counseling both times, she didn’t tell anything even after our daughter was diagnosed with genetic disorder. I feel that it all was intentionally hidden from me. I work 3 hours a day and on the weekends so that I could take my child to the different therapies in our rehabilitation center. I asked my mother-in-law several times to help me to take care of our child. Her responses was "I am shopping”, “She is not my responsibility”, "I raised my children now is your turn". I asked her why she didn't tell me about all the genetic problems that run in her family. She told me “You already were pregnant, what's the point of telling?". During our last genetic doctor visit when we discussed all the new information about my husbands family doctor agreed that amount of people with genetic problems are concerning, but it appear to be no connection to our daughter disorder, other words science cannot tell. I fell that genetic test could had been done while I was pregnant if we knew that situation is that serious. Her genetic disorder could be diagnosed while I was pregnant and honestly I don't have problem with abortion if child will be disabled for life.

Is there any ground or legal reason to sue my mother-in-law for punitive damages and child support?

It is very expensive to have a disabled child; we constantly need to buy materials to run her ABA therapies at home. We have a government sponsored ABA therapy until our daughter turns 8 years old. It cost approximately $3000 a month to run ABA at home. On top of caring for disable child I have a grieving depression for the last 2 years.
No, you have no case against the MIL - love your child and get some SERIOUS counseling for YOUR problems.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Hello. We live in SC.
When I got pregnant we went to the first OB-GYN appointment together with my husband. We filled paperwork together and talked to the doctor together. The only what I knew at that moment was 3 cases of cleft leap and cleft pallet on my husband's side. Doctor assured us that our chance to have child with that genetic disorder is very low because there no other problems and no problems in my family. Later we discussed our doctor visit with my husband's mother. She assured me that that is the only problem that seems to be running in their family. I was concerned, but ultrasound didn't show any abnormalities. We start having problems with our baby girl when she was 6 month old. By 9 moths she already was in physical and occupational therapies, and was taking medication to help with her chronic constipation. She was delayed in all areas of development. My mother-in-law notified me that nothing to worry because my husband had some developmental delays as a child. By age 2 we had a diagnosis of autism and several month later we had a genetic test done that showed that our little girl has a very rare genetic disorder, she is missing a piece of chromosome 8. This past summer my mother-in-law slowly starts telling me about different problems that her family is having. I confronted her that my husband's two cousins are albino, not a light skin as I was told earlier. Along with that I learned that my mother-in-law has a bipolar with manic depression disorder and slow colon (she was suggested to have it removed), my husband's sister and albino cousin have a "painful balder syndrome" they are both in their 20s, another albino cousin has a severe case of ADHD, My husband's sister has condition that doctors cannot diagnose, her body attacks her joints, she is constantly in pain, she takes medication not to have her period because it too painful for her. About 3 people in that family have heart mummer. That is on top of 3 cases of cleft leap/pallet and my husband childhood developmental delays and constipation as a child (now he has IBS).

I am shocked by my discovery. Two out of three people in my husbands family have multiple disorders that have genetic tendencies. The most shocking is that I found out about it 4 years later than I should have, considering that besides OB-GYN we saw a genetic doctor twice. My mother-in-law didn’t tell anything about her family even thou she new that we went to the genetic counseling both times, she didn’t tell anything even after our daughter was diagnosed with genetic disorder. I feel that it all was intentionally hidden from me. I work 3 hours a day and on the weekends so that I could take my child to the different therapies in our rehabilitation center. I asked my mother-in-law several times to help me to take care of our child. Her responses was "I am shopping”, “She is not my responsibility”, "I raised my children now is your turn". I asked her why she didn't tell me about all the genetic problems that run in her family. She told me “You already were pregnant, what's the point of telling?". During our last genetic doctor visit when we discussed all the new information about my husbands family doctor agreed that amount of people with genetic problems are concerning, but it appear to be no connection to our daughter disorder, other words science cannot tell. I fell that genetic test could had been done while I was pregnant if we knew that situation is that serious. Her genetic disorder could be diagnosed while I was pregnant and honestly I don't have problem with abortion if child will be disabled for life.

Is there any ground or legal reason to sue my mother-in-law for punitive damages and child support?

It is very expensive to have a disabled child; we constantly need to buy materials to run her ABA therapies at home. We have a government sponsored ABA therapy until our daughter turns 8 years old. It cost approximately $3000 a month to run ABA at home. On top of caring for disable child I have a grieving depression for the last 2 years.
Ditto bay's reaction.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
However, with the possible mental issues the OP has running through her, it would be advisable that she become sterilized ASAP
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
However, with the possible mental issues the OP has running through her, it would be advisable that she become sterilized ASAP
Yes. Considering that Depression, like MANY mental health issues, are proven to be genetic, OP should get her tubes tied ASAP.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
I am just wondering- had MIL come forward with these medical revelations at any point during the pregnancy.....would you have aborted?
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
but it appear to be no connection to our daughter disorder, other words science cannot tell.
Well, there you go. Also, it seems that you have some health issues yourself and might be the "passer on" of some of those problems. So, how many in YOUR family suffer some form of hereditary illness? Maybe your lack of heart was inherited.;)


honestly I don't have problem with abortion if child will be disabled for life.
Honestly, I don't have a problem with forced sterilization for people that have no business having the privelege of having a child.

I firmly believe that disabled children are special. It takes a special type of person to love and care for a child who faces more difficulties than most. Sadly, your special, unique child got stuck with the wrong person. Don't have any more children and get some help for your own problems.
 

Idori

Member
Lookinrose,

I can understand your being very upset that serious information was with held from you. Your energy is better spent in seeking more support services for your self right now. Care giving is very draining and I can only imagine the stress that you have been under. There are support service that can help take care of your needs and your daughters.

Is your husband also responsible for your daughters care?

He is as responsible if not more responsible than your MIL for disclosing information about his relatives to you. Your mother in laws attitude is a side issue here. I suggest counseling for you and your husband to help you through this.

Please disregard the disrespectful and immature advice from the people here who have suggested you get sterilized. Their behavior towards you disgusts me.

Getting help for your self from caring professionals will go a long way to helping you deal with your anger at your mother in law. But the most important thing is getting more care for yourself. Your depression is treatable and with care you can fully recover. Take advantage of any and all resources you can find to assist you in caring for your daughter.

And do not hesitate to tell your husband if you feel you need him to step up more to care for your daughter so you can take more time to get support services for your self. Counseling for both of you might help too.

I have three small children and have had depression and/or anxiety after each ones birth. I have spoken with many mothers who have dealt with serious anger and regret on top of depression when caring for their children. You are not alone in any of that.

God bless you and your family.
 

lookinrose

Junior Member
I am just wondering- had MIL come forward with these medical revelations at any point during the pregnancy.....would you have aborted?
Hi, thank you for your responses.
My family don't have any genetic or developmental problems. My daughter's genetic disorder is very rear. There were only 57 live birth with this disorder registered in North America. Most pregnancies are ending up stillborn.
If my MIL would share all the medical history with me, I would take my husband to the genetic doctor before I got pregnant. During pregnancy I would insist on amniosintoses. There were couple cases documented when doctors advised mothers to have an abortion.
And dear mommyof4, you have no idea what it takes to take care of a disabled child. My daughter is 4 years old now. She doesn't talk, she doesn't play with children, she never will get married or have friends, she never will enjoy things like love, friendship, motherhood. If she will learn how to pay for her food it will be miracle. May be mommyof4 needs to volunteered some of her time in the local group home for people with disabilities for some time, may be she will understand.
I saw 2 phycologists, I don't have any mental problems myself. I don't even have an allergy of any kind, I even don't know what is heartburn. I am in perfect health.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Please disregard the disrespectful and immature advice from the people here who have suggested you get sterilized. Their behavior towards you disgusts me.
And it disgusts me that any parent would be 'okay' with killing a child because he or she is not the parent's picture of perfect. :mad:

My recommendation that she be sterilized is a legitmate suggestion. SHE may have an illness that has been shown to be hereditary, yet that is why she is wishing to sue her MIL. She can't handle the child she has now. She shouldn't have any more.
 
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